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Pastor Damilola and Mrs. Bolarin Sanni have been married for 28years, and they are blessed with children.
The husband is a journalist-turned minister of the gospel. He had his first degree from the Lagos State University, and he also obtained his Masters from the same institution
He worked with a number of media organisations, including The Punch and the Nigerian Television Authority, Channel 7. After his media journey, he went into Public Relations and pastoral work.
He said he started his journalism practice in 1985 and got married to his wife ten years later, in 1985.
Asked for his advice for couples, Pastor Sanni stated: “They should allow God in their marriage.” And his wife noted that a couple should endure and tolerate each other. She added: “It’s not good for a woman to be a single mother, or to be alone. Somebody that offends you today may be your best friend tomorrow. Just endure each other. And tolerate each other. My husband is my gist partner, and when you marry your friend, it is the best.”
Pastor Damilola Sanni is a journalist turned pastor with a striving ministry in Epe, Lagos, while his wife, Bolarin is a fashion designer, and a teacher. They share their marital journey and the secrets of their blissful marriage with Vera Wisdom-Bassey.
You have been married for 28 years, how did it start?
Pastor Damilola: It is God’s making, He put us together; He has been the one who has been helping us, even when we started.
How did you meet her?
Pastor Damilola: She happened to be my convert, and after that, God told me that she is the one. I always obey God. Whatever He tells me, I don’t disobey. So when God told me she is the one for me to marry, I did not hesitate
Madam, is that correct?
Madam Bolarin: Yes. My husband was the one that led me to Christ. It’s not that I wasn’t going to church, but when God told him that I was the one, he was like ‘ah, will she not think that, it was the reason why he was preaching to her? But it was never like that. Although we knew each other since 1987, I never knew he was going to be my husband. When I saw him, I was already 25years old. I did my 25th birthday in May 1994, and he was the Master of Ceremony (MC), but he never knew that I would give my life to Christ after two months. So the following year, we did our wedding. So, every year is our wedding anniversary.
Did you have any lady in mind before meeting her?
Pastor Damilola: I was already into the ministry before meeting her, so I did not even bother my head looking for any woman to marry; I was soaked into the ministry, until God told me about her.
How did you propose marriage to her?
Pastor Damilola: God just told me and I believed God, and she obeyed God.
You did not tell her anything?
Pastor Damilola: I just told her what God said and she confirmed it, and that was it.
What year was that?
Pastor Damilola: It was in 1994, at Olateju in Mushin.
Was she a member of your church?
Pastor Damilola: I had not started a church; it was a fellowship. She started following me to the fellowship. We were not having a church at the time; we were just holding a fellowship group.
What was the response from her parents?
Pastor Damilola: They were already expecting her to bring someone. They were full of joy, and there was no contradiction. No, no.
Madam, can you remember how he proposed to you?
You know I was saying that God told him that I was the one. Because one day he called me and said, ‘Sister Bolarin, what has God been telling you in the area of marriage? You mean He has not been telling you anything about me?’ That was how he proposed, because I later accepted that God has been telling me something.
It was just God. Had it been that my father was alive, he would have refused to our marriage. You know some of these Ekiti people; they didn’t like their sons to marry men from Ogun State, or their daughters marrying Ogun State men. But some of them allow it, while some don’t. In my case, they didn’t have a choice but they were in the church on our wedding day.
Even our children used to tell him, you are not romantic, you took your wife to the beach, and just asked her what she saw. Because he said, let’s go to the beach for a picnic because we have to talk. He said I should not use questions to answer his questions. He asked, what did you see? And I said to him, I will not lie, I have seen it, and he requested to know who, and I said he is the one. After then we started the courtship and that is where we are today.
Who says sorry first in the marriage when there is an issue in the home?
Pastor Damilola: We both say sorry. I say sorry and she always says sorry. If both of you are friends, you should be able to tell each other sorry and sort out your problems together. When I am angry, I tell her straight without any ado.
How do you settle quarrels?
Madam Bolarin: Yes, we do quarrel, but we always settle it. My husband can say sorry. But, one day, one of my sons said, you will be saying sorry, and will never sort it out and be hiding things under the carpet. So, since then, we said, we will be sorting things out. We don’t keep grudges, because tomorrow will still come. You don’t record offence, because tomorrow will still come and he will still step on your toes.
Pastor, is any of your children taking after you as a pastor or a journalist?
Pastor Damilola: All of them are pastors, but none of them wants to be a journalist. They just don’t fall into that line. They are science students and the one that did not read science went for criminology. I have an engineer too.
You are 28 years in marriage. What has been the tonic that made it successful?
Pastor Damilola: The tonic is that God started it and it has been Him and Him all the way. It is just God and God alone.
Madam Bolarin: There is nothing but God, Jesus. When Jesus is the foundation of your marriage, it will work well. When you listen to the word of God, and He said, do it, you can never regret it
What advice do you have for couples?
Pastor Damilola: They should allow God in their marriage. Jesus and his disciples were in the boat and when the boat was sinking. He came to their rescue, and spoke to the storm and there was calm
Madam Bolarin: It’s not good for a woman to be a single mother, or to be alone. It’s not good for a woman to be alone, because you will not know how she cries inside, unless they cry out. One of my friends said it’s not good for a woman to stay without a husband, because her husband died. Somebody that offends you today may be your best friend tomorrow. Just endure each other. And tolerate each other. My husband is my gist partner, and when you marry your friend, it is the best.
Who do the children fear more?
Madam Bolarin: It’s their dad. They love their dad more than me, because I am the quiet type. But we correct the children together. You know children can come between the husband and the wife. When a woman says to the children, don’t listen to your daddy, that woman is not training that child. Both husband and wife should correct their children together. They should correct the children together. These children will soon be gone and it will remain only my husband and myself, as they have finished school.
