Risky affairs with married men

Having affairs with married men has, in most cases, produced the benefits ladies involved desired. Whatever benefits that often came from such affairs were temporary. Agreed, some women might have benefited from such relationships over the years. There have been cases where side-chicks got landed properties, luxury items, best of jewellery.

A renowned medical doctor once told me that he set up one of the best fashion boutiques in Ikeja for his side chick. Some side-chicks even had babies from their affairs with married men. Some on the other hand lost out completely in such relationships.

Now, the first risk in sleeping with married men is that the lady is faced with a heap of lies that will exonerate his rascality. Know it my lady that you are not the only one. Most married men who cheat are serial liars. You as his latest side chick did not change him. No, you did not. You happen to be one of them. He has many of you somewhere. Maybe even more experienced at the hide and seek game. He would use lies to cover up his real life. He will use fabricated lies to pretend and vindicate himself before a gullible ignorant lady. If he then becomes a cash cow, his acceptance will be easily made by his side chick without knowing she is burning her fingers.

Unfortunately, the truth is that a side chick will never be a married man’s priority. I recall a story I heard from young undergraduate friends in my neighbourhood. Mary told me that in a certain university in the South est, married men who normally come to hang out with girls in the night are known as ‘Aristos’. One day, a notorious aristo who had ‘kept girls’ in almost all the female halls of residence was with his third girl in her room when a call came from his wife that their four-year-old son had a domestic accident which led to excess bleeding. The boy tried to run out the house and collided with sliding door which gave him a serious facial injury. The Aristo ran as fast as he could because his priority was involved. At that moment, the side chick could go to hell because his priority’s wellbeing was more important. No matter how sweet he talks, his wife, children and family come first. You that is his side chick, you are just in his corner playing the role of his little escape and secret.

Again ladies, be aware that no married man can love his side chick more than his wife. Some would propose fake marriage to get the side chick cheap. Once they have gotten what they want, the drama will begin to unfold. A married man can keep his side chick waiting forever unlike his wife. Side-chick will wait for the call of his Odogwu married man like a beggar. Send him a text, he will see and read, yet ignore you as his side chick. He would have seen the two blue lines that reassure you the message had been read, yet, he would ignore you. Same happens to his side chick’s phone call. He will be lying down beside his wife, look at her and ignore you. When he finally has time for you, he will blame all the annoying attitude on family drama. Babes, guess what, you are not his priority!

Really, dating and sleeping with married men have various disadvantages. A side chick would age emotionally while relying, waiting and putting her eggs in the basket of married men. Yes, one may look beautiful on the outside, wear good clothes, smell nice, but within her being, she is carrying shame, secrecy, and pain. Such arrangement messes with a lady’s confidence because she will not be bold enough to tell her relatives and friends the whole truth.

Regrettably, no matter what a married man does for his side chick, he will never leave his wife for her.  Most men who tried it regretted the decision. Some became serial polygamists. Some Nollywood actors who tried it are still battling to save face. Marrying you as his side chick will not stop him from cheating. The moment he marries you, he will establish another relationship to replace you.

In fact, the moment a side chick tangles with a married man, she will get emotionally attached to a dead thing. How? Because side chick will keep hoping, crying, thinking, praying he leaves his wife, makes it public and marries her, but truth is that it will not be possible. When Ogunsola had a headlong issue with his wife, he kept promising his side chick that his wife Sarah would soon pack out. He says… “I have seen signs that she wants to move out, when she leaves, you will move in immediately.” Side chick waited for years, Madam would pack and unpack until they resolved their issue.

Again, guilt and conscience will always hold the side chick down. Guilt will forever haunt the lady. The intruder will pretend to be happy and fine, but the conscience is an open would, which only the truth heals. When such lady hears message in church, her heart will pant and panic. When the man’s wife appears anywhere close, side chick will become sick. A friend told such testimony where a choir member whose brother-in-law had ravaged and taken through series of abortion made an open confession during an intense message she heard from the pulpit. As the preacher strengthened the word of God, the sister’s conscience began to flog her silly and she was forced to confess how her senior sister’s husband married the two of them in the same house.

Now, to those ladies who invest in a man who belongs to another woman, is it worth it?  What is the essence of risking one’s time, life, peace of mind, womb and private areas for someone who does not deserve you? Such a side chick is risking her destiny for crumbs. All that your own husband desires is what you are giving to an unworthy man for free. I simpy call it stealing and conquering your husband’s place. What most side chicks do not know is that as long as they are in someone’s shadow, they will be unavailable for the one who would honour them. The husband God has prepared for them is out there waiting for them. Being a side chick to a married man has no forever gain. It can only reduce the charisma of the lady. The best solution is to leave that married man, no matter the comfort he is providing because a day will come, he will leave you for another side chick. Many might be blindedfolded by the man’s give-away nature and get trapped by his cash and waist line. It is not difficult. You can block him off, cry it out and start all over because that is not love. You can start a fresh life, a deeper life of purpose.

Dear Sisters, the book of life tells that when one repents genuinely, God forgives, no matter how bad our sins are, God forgives. Healing is possible. Dignity is restorable. One should not because of today’s gain destroy her future by being a side chick to a married man. It is a sort of glamorize forbidden love that does not end well. It might be interesting because of the gain initially; but the aftermath is always bitter. Please sisters, choose peace over pain. Choose wholeness over heartbreak. Be involved with love that honours you graciously and openly. Do not get involved with love that hides you in the shadows. Tell yourself that you will not be an option, rather a renowned, worthy and rewarding crown.