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•Debunking personality traits and unveiling the truth
By Adeoye and Adetunji
There are six male personality types named after the letters of the Greek Alphabet that are also attributable to females: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Omega, Delta, and Sigma. Out of these six personality traits, this article shall focus on alpha females. In the contemporary evolving society, the concept of the alpha female has gained significant attention, often portrayed as strong, confident and assertive.
The personality traits associated with alpha females vary widely, leading to debates on the suitability of an alpha female for marriage and motherhood, especially among the Yoruba people of Southwestern Nigeria, a society that lays importance on paternalism, a practice in which authority figure, typically male, exercises control or influence over others for guidance, protection, or decision-making. In such a society, the dominant nature of Alpha females tends to clash with traditional gender roles of motherhood, because historically, motherhood or maternalism is associated with nurturing and caring attributes, as women are seen primarily as caregivers and have been recognised for their empathy, compassion, and ability to create safe and nurturing environments for their families. Also, traditional gender stereotypes often associate women with traits like submissiveness, and passivity while leadership and assertiveness are seen as masculine qualities. By exploring the personality traits associated with alpha females, these stereotypes will be challenged and promote gender equality by showcasing that women can possess a wide range of characteristics and leadership abilities.
While alpha females are often admired and celebrated for their strength and confidence, there are also some myths and misconceptions surrounding them that they are (1) inherently domineering and aggressive, (2) they lack empathy and emotional intelligence, (3) they are rigid and unchanging in their personality traits. A classic example was found in Odu Ifa corpus: Ọ̀wọ́nrín Òtúrá:
In realms where woman’s rule holds might, Her husband’s worth she casts away,
A cautionary tale of Òréré Eléjìgbò, the wife of the first of Eléjìgbò Èjìgbò Òréré was an archetypical alpha woman, her words, like edicts rule without pause, she was a bride betrothed to the first Eléìgbò of Èjìgbò, earlier warned by the oracle not to marry her, but he was adamant. As she made her way to her husband’s house on her bridal procession was a retinue of her father’s slaves and servants. She led the bridal song, the lyrics of which ordered the Ìrókò tree on her path to be cut down so that she might walk majestically, radiating grace and poise, and that she might see her husband from afar. The slaves carried out her order and fell the Ìrókò tree. As her bridal journey continued to progress towards her husband’s house, she sighted a dilapidated building from afar, the fence on which her husband was inconspicuously seated. She ordered it to be demolished as well, so that she might walk majestically radiating grace and poise, and that she might see her husband from afar. Whilst effecting her order the husband was unknowingly killed.
She eventually arrived at her husband’s house, but he was nowhere to be found. He had faded away. To date in a typical marriage to an alpha woman, the husband is invisible and fades away. A man that sits on the fence is not suitable for an alpha woman.
2. The type of man that can successfully marry an alpha female
The notion of compatibility between an alpha female and one of the specific character traits listed above in a potential partner is subjective and can vary greatly based on personal preferences and dynamics. While there is no hard and fast rule, certain qualities and characteristics in men are often considered compatible with an alpha female. Compatibility is a complex interplay of individual personalities, values, and communication styles, successful human relationships are built on mutual understanding, respect, and willingness to grow and adapt together. Although it is arguable that ‘unlike poles attract, like poles repel’. Are alpha women therefore attracted to alpha men only or other character traits? It must be appreciated that the elementary principle in physics that ‘unlike poles attract, like poles repel’ describes the behaviour of magnets and electric charges. It does not necessarily apply to human relations in the same way because in the context of human relationships, individuals with different personalities, interests and backgrounds may be attracted to each other in romantic relationships, friendships or professional collaborations. Also people with complementary traits may find each other intriguing and form strong connections based on their differences. Consequently, the dynamics of human relations are complex, attractions and compatibility are influence by many factors beyond differences and similarities; it involves emotions, shared values, communication, and personal preferences far beyond simple magnetic analogy. While some people may be attracted to individuals who possess qualities they like or admire, others may be attracted to people who share their interests and values. Therefore, the principle of ‘unlike poles attract like poles repel’ merely provides a metaphorical framework for understanding some aspects of human relationships but it should not be considered a strict rule.
The Yoruba cosmology rooted in Odù ifá explains the ideal man for any woman, including an alpha woman, Ògbè Òtúrá. Such a man must possess Íwà pẹ̀lẹ̀ (good character). The story narrates the significance of good character in marriage, gender equality and the value of women in human affairs through the tale of Ọ̀rúnmìlà and his wife, Ìwà (character). It emphasizes the importance of treating women with respect. Neglecting this principle can lead to dire consequences, as Ọ̀rúnmìlà discovered when he lost everything after mistreating his wife.
•Adeoye Adetunji PhD writes from London
