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It is just too wonderful that the first day of this year fell on a Sunday. What a beautiful and memorable way to start the year! To God Almighty who sustained, provided for and protected us, and also brought us into the New Year, I give all the glory, for His mercies and grace, and forgiving our iniquities.
The first day of a New Year is always an opportunity to start afresh, to build something new or even correct past mistakes, rebuild, lubricate and re-fire existing relationships. Often at this time, a lot of people make it a habit to draw up a list of new year resolutions, which tend to die a natural death within weeks as there is no conscious effort to implement them. Instead of that long list that would be unattended to, I want to urge such people to just look at some attitudes that can guide us better within the year, if we adhere to them.
For starters, couples should learn to lubricate their relationships. Either spouse might think this will be hard to achieve, considering past bitter experiences. But the truth is that it is the simplest thing to do, especially when God is involved, and if there is quality communication between the couple, true display of love, romance, good sexual relationship, oneness and unity of purpose supported with financial strength.
Making marital relationships work is a joint responsibility of the couple, not an undertaking for just one of the spouses. As it is said, it takes two to tango. Now consider this simple fact: in any marriage where sexual intimacy has taken a long vacation or has even retired from active service, due to marital challenges, the relationship between the couple will definitely be affected. Good conduct, romance and sexual relationship are key ingredients that lubricate the journey for both. Relationships are not meant for just one person to activate, no. Whatever a man can do, a woman can also fall in line and press mumu-buttons. But it is also for all to know that every happy relationship does not depend on sex only. Think of the companionship, the house chores that are romantically done, reaching out and celebrating in-laws, the financial freedom accorded to the wife and the togetherness in raising amazing children are all areas of lubricating a relationship.
For the women, kindly know it that a lot is within you to keep your man to yourself, yes, a lot is within you. From this new year, please take the leading role and be a kind of warrior. Surprise your husband with certain decisions and actions.
Stop burning your data admiring all manner of Instagram photos, whether faked or real. Instead, use the data to property sites, look at the latest available options, then take a walk to the building material markets and find out the prices of needed materials. Pull of off a surprise on your partner and see the other side of him wake up like a lion. Again, men know it that what is good for the geese is equally good for the gander. Men, the only way to lubricate your journey is not only money and sex. Your wife should be proud when she looks at you. I knew the Lawrence family many years ago who lived a subtle life. May, his wife of 11-years was always proud of him and wished that if there was reincarnation, their paths should cross again. What was the magic? “I have four children because of the kind of husband that married me, he is not a billionaire but I am proud of him. I am the type that pregnancy throws off balance. After I had three miscarriages in the early period of our marriage, my husband stopped me from all house chores and took over. In all my pregnancies, the first four months are usually traumatic, but my husband would stand in the gap. My duty was to wake up, bathe, eat and sleep while he personally did the house chores, paid every bill and cared for me lovingly. He would continue until I gave birth and that was how we managed ourselves till date. At times, I would jokingly and romantically call him my God sent housekeeper and we would laugh over it. But for my husband, I do not know what my life with pregnancy and childbirth would have been.”
This issue of lubricating a relationship is not about couples only. There are other forms of relationship within the family structure, offices, business areas and otherwise. First, how respectful are we in our daily commitments, activities and otherwise? What does respect mean to you? Do we lubricate our relationships with respect to the elderly, our business, work ethics and authorities no matter how little, to our parents and many more. Anyone who is not respectful in life should expect disrespect in his or her own dealings. People who brand their superiors with derogatory names and think they are worthless, should know that such superiors have power to penalise them for exhibiting unruly behaviour and other display of disrespect.
In this new year, let us be free from manifestation of arrogance, cheating and accumulation of debts, so as to lubricate our relationship. All the unnecessary show of pride point towards downfall of a man or a woman in all relationships. But if you yank yourself free from this bad character, then you will enjoy the relationship with your man. It is also important to control other things like anger, appetite and what comes out of your mouth. Many have regretted some of the bad utterances they made. Take the case of Jerry Jonas popularly known as Jay-Jay, who carelessly complained that his friend Michael normally drank like a fish. The next time he visited, Jay-Jay’s four-year-old son said, “Uncle Mike, my daddy said you drink like a fish.” That statement put a big stain on their relationship.
While savouring the goodies of the new year, let us also obtain three things: knowledge, understanding and wisdom. These three factors separate one from the crowd. When one is knowledgeable in what he or she does, it gives class, stirs up respect and admiration.
What are the things we all need in life is to lubricate our relationships? There is no head of any institution who would be glad to record failures in all competitions. That is where wise counsel, knowledge and understanding play their important roles.
Have we thought of the things to keep pure even as we lubricate relationships between couples, relatives and friends? The ‘thought content’ quickly comes to mind because where one’s thought lies, that is where he or she is headed. Are we filled up with positive or negative thoughts? Which way do we go according to legendary singer, Sunny Okosun, of blessed memory? Where our minds direct us to usually will be our end result if care is not taken. The reason we need to be positively minded is that our bodies and the clothes we wear should also be kept pure while we protect the family friends and future. There is also need to work on vision, trust and faith in our dealings with others. Many visions have died in the mind because they were not executed. Truust should also be paramount in our dealings.
Now, bad deeds, backbiting and jealousy are the areas people must work on in year 2023 because they do not bring any good. When I hear some people recount their hurts of many years, the offender might have forgotten but the person offended by the bad deed would also feel low and pained when he or she remembers the action. Jealousy has led many people astray and would continue if such people do not stop. The death of a young student was announced in Abuja because of jealousy. They had gone as classmates to the swimming pool to unwind. He probably did not know how to swim. As he was drowning, instead of his jealous classmates to rescue him, they stole his wallet and wristwatch. On interrogation, they said the boy was the toast of the females in the class. Out of jealousy, they allowed him drown. What a wicked world!
Finally, there are so many little bad qualities that some individuals should change this year. Therefore, to lubricate relationships, let us build on good counsel, adopt good manners, exhibit godliness and contentment. Moreover, let keep heaven in sharp focus, because hell is real. Let’s all be born again.
Happy New Year!
