Chioma had always believed that love was the most important thing in marriage. When she and Kunle got married, they were so deeply in love that she thought nothing could ever come between them. They had their differences, like any couple, but they always found a way to resolve them. That was until money became a silent war in their home.
In the first few months of their marriage, everything seemed fine. Kunle earned a stable salary, and Chioma was running a small business from home. They had enough to cover their needs, and whatever was left, they spent without much thought. If they wanted to eat out, they did. If Chioma saw a beautiful dress online, she bought it. If Kunle’s friends invited him for drinks, he went without hesitation. Life was smooth, until it wasn’t.
One morning, Chioma woke up to a call from their landlord. Their rent was due, and she was sure Kunle had been saving for it. But when she asked him about it, his face fell.“I thought we still had time,” he mumbled. “Kunle, time for what? Do we have the money or not?” she pressed. He hesitated before responding. “I… I used part of it for something else. I was planning to replace it before the deadline.”
Chioma’s heart sank. This was not the first time something like this had happened. A few months ago, Kunle had spent more than they agreed on for his younger brother’s school fees. Before that, he had taken out a loan to buy a new phone without telling her. Chioma, too, was guilty as she had borrowed money from her friend to stock up on inventory for her business, but she had kept it from Kunle because she didn’t want to stress him.
Money had become a silent battle in their marriage. Many Nigerian couples do not realise the weight of financial planning until they start facing real financial struggles. It is easy to talk about love and companionship, but when bills start piling up, when debts become overwhelming, and when financial stress creeps into everyday conversations, love alone no longer feels enough.
Chioma and Kunle sat down that evening and had one of the hardest conversations of their marriage. They both realised that their biggest problem was not that they did not have money, but they were not planning together. The first thing they decided to do was to be completely honest about their earnings, expenses, and debts. Many couples in Nigeria live with financial secrecy, where one partner has no idea how much the other earns. Some men believe it is their responsibility to provide without involving their wives in financial discussions. Some women also have personal savings they keep hidden from their husbands “just in case.” While financial independence is important, secrecy can breed distrust and misunderstanding.
Kunle and Chioma agreed to put everything on the table. Kunle revealed that he had taken out a small loan to support his younger brother, and Chioma confessed about the debt she owed her friend. It was uncomfortable, but it was necessary. Next, they created a joint budget. They realised that they had been spending money without structure, which made it easy to lose track of where their income was going. They wrote down their monthly income and listed out their essential expenses; rent, food, electricity, transportation. They allocated money for savings, emergency funds, and personal spending. It was not easy, but it helped them see exactly where their money was going.
One of their biggest realisations was that they needed an emergency fund. In Nigeria, unexpected expenses can arise at any time ranging from hospital bills, car repairs, sudden family responsibilities. Having a financial cushion is crucial. They started small, setting aside just a little each month, but over time, it grew into a safety net that prevented financial panic.
They also discussed how to handle family financial obligations. In many Nigerian marriages, extended family responsibilities can become a financial strain. Relatives often expect support, and sometimes one partner gives beyond what the family can afford. Chioma and Kunle agreed to set a limit on how much they would contribute to family requests each month. This way, they could help their loved ones without jeopardising their financial stability.
Another important decision they made was to stop making major financial decisions alone. Every big purchase, whether it was a new gadget, a loan, or a business investment, had to be discussed and agreed upon. This required humility on both sides. Kunle had to stop seeing himself as the sole decision-maker, and Chioma had to be willing to consult him before making financial moves.
To strengthen their financial discipline, they also agreed to have regular money conversations. Every Sunday evening, they would sit down, review their expenses, adjust their budget if necessary, and set financial goals for the coming weeks. It was not always easy, as they disagreed on priorities, and other times, unexpected expenses threw off their plans, but they remained committed to transparency.
Perhaps the biggest shift in their marriage came when they started saving for the future together. Instead of seeing money as a source of stress, they started seeing it as a tool to build the life they wanted. They opened a savings account dedicated to buying land and another for their children’s education. They began investing in small ways, as Kunle put some money into a cooperative scheme at work, and Chioma expanded her business wisely, focusing on long-term growth instead of quick gains.
One evening, months after their first serious financial conversation, Kunle came home with a smile. “We have enough for rent,” he announced. Chioma looked up, surprised. “Already?” “Yes. We followed our plan, and it worked.” At that moment, she realised something profound. Financial planning had not only secured their money, but it had strengthened their marriage. They were no longer fighting over money and they were working together towards a common goal.
Financial planning is not about who earns more or who controls the money. It is about teamwork, transparency, and shared responsibility. Many marriages struggle not because of a lack of income but because of a lack of structure. Money can be a source of unity or division. It depends on how it is managed.
If there is one lesson Chioma and Kunle learnt, it is this: financial peace in marriage doesn’t happen by accident. It requires honesty, discipline, and the willingness to work together. Money itself is not the problem. The real challenge is how couples handle it, together or apart.
•For further comment, please contact: Osondu Anyalechi:
0909 041 9057; [email protected]