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Sir Oliver Ehiri, retired tailor, and a Knight of the Catholic Church, and his wife, Lady Rose Chinagorom Ehiri, a retired teacher, recently celebrated the 50th anniversary of their marriage. The couple who hails from Umunomo Ihitteafoukwo in Ahiazu Local Government Area of Imo State but live in Abakaliki in this interview with Saturday Sun, shared their experiences. They spoke to CHIJIOKE AGWU, in Abakaliki.
Where and when did you meet your wife?
Sir Ehiri: I met her in the year 1971 at Ogbor, Ihitteafoukwu. We were in the village at that period. I went to her house, saw her and we agreed to be husband and wife. Both of us are from Ihitteafoukwu; she is from Ogbor, Ihitteafoukwu, and I am from Umunomo, Ihitteafoukwu. We are from the same place and were attending the same church then. We got talking about being husband and wife and by God’s grace, we ended up being husband and wife.
Lady Rose: I was in my father’s house. His younger sister who was married in our area came with her husband. He came with them and his elder brother, and they came to our house and said they came to ask for my hand in marriage. We discussed it together. They asked me some questions and I answered them. In the end, I accepted their proposal and they went back.
Was there any opposition from your parents or family members when you told them your choice for marriage?
Sir Ehiri: Not all. At that time, my father and the father of my wife were very good friends. They were even happy that their friendship was going to be sustained in a bigger way by our marriage. My father was very happy.
Lady Rose: There was no opposition to our marriage because even before that time my family had a very strong family relationship with his family. My husband’s father liked me very much. He used to call me Omasiridiya (The woman that her husband likes/Beloved of her husband). He was a very good friend of my father and everyone in the community knew about their friendship. So, it was easy for them to agree and bless our marriage.
How long did it take you to marry her after both of you agreed to marry each other?
Sir Ehiri: I married her that same 1971.
Why did you choose her among numerous other ladies?
Sir Ehiri: I liked her because she was a well-behaved girl. And she came from a family that I knew very well. So it was not difficult for me to settle for her. And besides, my family members also wanted me to marry her. It is not like today. In those days, it is your family that decides who you marry. But in all, I believe it is the will of God because everything that concerns marriage is God. If you trust Him, He will direct you. That time, He was the one that directed us and we agreed to become husband and wife. And we have been living peacefully since.
Lady Rose: I liked him too. And knowing him and his family very well before then was an added advantage for me. So it was very easy for me to accept him.
How was the marriage process? Can you remember how it went?
Sir Ehiri: Like I told you, we used to attend the same church, and we are from the same village. When I saw her and told her, she accepted and said she would go and think about it. And after thinking about it, when I came back to get her answer, she said she accepted it. When both of us agreed on the marriage proposal, there were marriage processes. I told my people, so we fixed the day that we were going to see her people. And when that day came, we went and both families did all the necessary traditional marriage rites. And that was how our marriage started
Lady Rose: That day, I don’t remember the date he came with his father and other family members to our compound. They met with my father and elders of our own family and fulfilled all the marriage rites.
How old were you then, can you remember?
Sir Ehiri: I don’t remember. You know, we were born when there was no record, so I don’t remember but I know that I was mature enough and at the age of getting married at that time.
When both of you started living as husband and wife, since there was no courtship like is the trend these days, was there anything that you noticed in her that you regretted, that if you knew you wouldn’t have married her?
Sir Ehiri: No, there was nothing bad that I noticed. We lived peacefully. You know that time we weren’t afraid, and were shy, not now that everything has changed.
How many children has God blessed you with?
Sir Ehiri: God blessed us with four children, all boys. My first son is Ehiri Vincent; the second is Sixtus, the third Michael, and the last son is called James
All these years that you have been living as husband and wife, there must have been times of quarrels and misunderstanding. How did you resolve them?
Sir Ehiri: There was never a time we had a misunderstanding. That was why I told you that everything about marriage is of God. If you make God your leader He will lead you well. We are Christians and until we had all our children, there was never a time we had any misunderstanding because we prayed together and always asked God to help us in our marriage journey and He really helped us.
Lady Rose: To tell you the truth, before God and man, he never for once, treated me badly; we lived together in love till we reached fifty years in marriage. Anytime, he saw that I was not happy, it used to pain him and he would start asking me what I would eat. That is also the way he pets his children. My husband is not the angry type; that is why God made it possible for us to reach this stage. Couples that get angry too easily, the anger will make one to walk away. There is nothing that we do together that makes him angry. We eat from the same plate and there are times that he would go to work and not come back early. He works at New Market Road. After I finished preparing dinner and he had not come back, I would go and meet him there and wait for him to close for the day. We would come home together and eat. We have been living peacefully.
What pet name do you normally call each other when you want each other’s attention?
Sir Ehiri: I call her Anurim which means “my happiness.”
Lady Rose: I call him Obim (My Heart).
What is your spouse’s favourite food?
Sir Ehirim: She is our cook; whatever she cooks we eat.
Lady Rose: He likes pounded yam and tea. He does not joke with tea.
What is your advice to those intending to go into marriage?
Sir Ehiri: My advice to them is, whatever someone wants in life, hand it over to God, because whatever someone does and hands it over to God, God will help him and guide him.
Lady Rose: My advice to them is to exercise patience. Children of nowadays no longer have patience. In everything, they should be patient and hand over everything to God. It is said what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. They should be steadfast in their prayers. Even if they did not see what to eat, they should make prayer their watchword and be patient. They should coordinate their children and train them very well. My husband and I have lived together for 50 years, if we had not lived peacefully, we wouldn’t have been together till today. That is my advice to the young upcoming couple.
Does that mean if you have another opportunity to come back to the world again, you will still marry each other?
Sir Ehiri: I will marry her again without thinking about it. She is a wonderful woman. And I am very lucky to have married someone like her.
Lady Rose: Yes, I will marry him again. He didn’t give me any stress at all. You know that some women that are into marriage, their husbands often beat them, abuse them and do all kinds of wicked things against them. But my case is different. There was never a time that my husband did such a thing to me.
