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I am still battling to convince Mr and Mrs Owolabi, who are my friends, to allow their daughter study her desired course of choice in the university. The relationship with the couple started by chance, when daughter spotted a teacher reading my work on the page of the Sun Newspaper. Boldly, she walked up to the teacher and said to her: “Ma, this is my mummy’s work” The teacher exclaimed: “Wao! Is your mother a journalist? Tell her that I am her fan. I buy ‘The Sun’ every Sunday to read her column.”
So, the next time I visited my daughter in school during their break period, I saw her sitting the guardian’s office as I had instructed her go there to wait for me. I saw four other teenage girls like her, who were also waiting with her. I reasoned they had all gathered to use the guardian’s phone to call their parents – a regular practice in most boarding schools.
After the pleasantries, Amara introduced the other girls as her classmates, who want to become journalists. They requested her to mention it to me, with the hope that I could mentor them. When she that, goose pimples broke out all over me. I managed to hold back tears but spread out my arms to embrace them in a group hugMy first words were, ‘Wao, you girls want to become future journalists? What is the attraction to this profession where money does not flow for practitioners like it does in the Oil and Gas Industry, Banking and Finance?’ One of the girls, Taiwo, said she wants to contribute to society through her writings. Kaltum revealed that right from her primary school days she had enjoyed writing and expressed the desire to be an author and newspaper columnist. What she said next bowled me over with joy: “I told my dad about you and he has been buying a copy of the Sunday Sun for me to read every Sunday and start learning how to write.” On her part, the third girl, Precious, said: “My plan is to study Mass Communication at the University of Lagos, become a journalist and my voice to correct certain ills in the society. Lastly, Okiki chipped in: “I want to be a broadcaster with Cable News Network (CNN)”
I was excited hearing the great ambitions of the girls. I took all of them to my and we had a great session. I encouraged them to work hard as they have discovered their passion early in life. I told them that they need to be strengthened and guided accordingly to the path to greatness. I prayed for them to achieve their desire to come into journalism and succeed through the grace of God. As they trooped back to their classrooms at the end of break time, I drove away happy and humming a Christian gospel song of thanksgiving to God.
Now what is amiss? Registration for the United Tertiary Matriculation Examination, UTME, conducted by the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board, JAMB, commenced on Saturday, February 12, and would run till March. Prospective candidates have been besieging the JAMB accredited CBT (computer based test) centres to register for the exam scheduled to hold from May 6 to 20, across the country.
With this development, one of the girls told her father to buy the form, so that she can register for the exam which will enable her secure admission to study Mass Communication, but the father refused, insisting that she should go in for Economics because it will give her edge and versatility when seeking paid employment. The girl became heartbroken and cried, saddened because she cannot disobey her father. The father is effectively standing in the way, decreeing that she must accept his choice of course. Granted that a father has the right to advice, give reasons and cite examples, but he must not stop her passion irrationally.
While mauling what she would do next, the girl discussed her predicament with my daughter and requested to talk with her father and plead to him about her course of choice. I put a call to him immediately, introduced myself and asked that we meet in our children’s school. He honoured the invitation, but convincing him was a tough job. I pleaded with the man to allow her daughter go for her choice of course having discovered her career interest early enough. I also gave him reasons and examples. The issue is being considered.
Interestingly, our duty as parents is not to lord it over our children at all times but to guide, direct and nurture them to greatness. One should act based on the strength and weaknesses of the child. Some children can multi-task while some cannot. Some need just a word to pick up while some need same words 50-times before they could pick up. Some are easily influenced and easily carried away while some are not; some are stronger in character while some are not. I have seen students pick up from their weaknesses as they mature after a period of time. In the same way, others have derailed from their excellence. There are teenage children who are permanently average in everything. These are what parents should know. Aas medical doctor, must not force your child to study Medicine so he/she can take over from you at retirement, except they are interested. The late legal luminary, Chief Rotimi Williams had children who all became lawyers. Lucky him! I salute parents who work with their children’s ability. A father once told his daughter who chose Medicine, ‘Drop it, you don’t have such ability.’
Parents who think that the world is still revolving around Medicine, Law and Engineering, should think twice and ask themselves how many lawyers and engineers fed well during the COVID-19 days? The business of the day gradually moved into the Health and Food sectors. Parents of yesteryears never encouraged courses like Hotel Management, all music related courses. Entertainment and the Arts were no-go areas; even sports activities were prohibited in some families. Please parents, life and time have changed, guide accordingly and responsibly knowing the strength and weaknesses of your children.
Take the case of Mrs. Hussiani whose parents forced to study Accountancy in her own days instead of the English she loved. She never found her feet in any profession till date. Hussiani attended one of the Federal schools in the Middle Belt and admired her English teacher who was a prowess both in teaching and her style. Her parents cut her dreams short as she studied Accountancy and graduated with Third Class degree. She could not pass the professional examinations in accountancy. While her mates soared in their own professions, she floated just here and there and ended up as a housewife.
Again, a foremost award-winning fashion designer (House of Hallero) told me in an interview how her parents fought on Lagos-Ibadan expressway because of her choice of study in the university. Hallero had loved the world of arts, fashion and designing as a young growing girl. Fashion TV stations were her second home; she would go to the back of the house to practice modelling and how to sashay her tiny waists on the runway. She is arts and fashion bonded and personified but her father wanted her to be a lawyer. After her secondary school, she gained two admissions, to study Law at Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife as well Arts and Fashion from Yaba College of technology, YabaTech. All pleas from her mother and other members of the family to allow her pursue her dream fell on Daddy’s deaf ears. On a certain Sunday prior to YabaTech’s satisfaction and resumption, Hallero’s mum drove her from Ibadan to Lagos, her father got wind of it and quickly jumped into his car and double crossed them on Lagos-Ibadan expressway. The tension was high; it took the intervention of other passers-by who pleaded with her father to allow her pursue her dream at YabaTech. The first day her father saw her on television as one of the designers scheduled to clothe models for the 1st Edition of Africa Fashion Week Lagos, he was weak. As his daughter grew in strength and might in her chosen profession, her father sits as the chairman of the company and graces every occasion of hers.
Dear Parents, so many children are in bondage on a choice of course to study for the fear of your reactions. As UTME season continues to run its course, please do not choose ‘your own’ course for your children to study. If you do your background work, there will be argument at the point of registering for UTME. Instead of force, you can direct, advice and give reasons why a certain course is needed or not. An arts or commercially inclined student cannot wake up overnight to study Medicine in the university and vice versa. Many thanks to the schools who direct students early enough to subjects that qualify them for a certain course of study. If you are one of those parents who have not followed their child’s subjects to know his/her strengths and weaknesses, it might be late for you to start choosing a course of study as JAMB registration is on-going now. Parents who put their feet down to tell a child to either be a science or arts students, tread with caution. Do not destroy your own child’s dream and destiny, rather work hand-in-hand with that child and get the best from him or her. There is no course that is not relevant in life except the student refuses to study well and make good grades. All professions need each other to thrive.
