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By Josfyn Uba
Gestational surrogacy is when a person carries and gives birth to a baby for another person or couple. It’s usually done through the process of IVF. The carrier has no genetic relation to the baby.
This process was very unpopular until around 2017 given increased awareness, media coverage of celebrity experiences and advancement in IVF technology.
Fertility counselor and founder of Meet Surrogate Mothers (MSM) Agency, Olaronke Thaddeus has done well for herself in Nigeria by helping many families to achieve their dreams of becoming parents through this arrangement.
Naturally, there’s lot of fears and doubts surrounding the surrogacy process. However, according to Olaronke, if this is the part life has chosen for you to be a parent, accept it, embrace it and look for a capable agency to help you through the journey.
Olaronke Thaddeus swapped her banking career to follow her passion in caring and supporting couples struggling with fertility issues
Talking about the emotional challenges of facilitating this critical process, Ronke told Daily Sun in an interview recently, that surrogacy is not a business. “I cry when my intending parents cry´” she said.
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What inspired you into helping couples to navigate the infertility challenges as a woman?
I was inspired to start my company to help women who are finding it difficult to carry their children accomplish their dreams of parenthood through surrogacy. I saw that this aspect of fertility option needs to be embraced by couples who truly need this because of their medical issue. They need to know where and how to begin once they get the medical pronouncement to do surrogacy. In the past, couples have had to travel to India or USA to do surrogacy because there was no agency that could offer them such services in Nigeria. Our agency has done so much and the fact that we could be of help to many women and families is our inspiration.
You were formally a banker in a top management position, how did you switch to pursue your current business venture?
After spending 12 years in banking, I decided to do what I have been called to do which is to help in whatever capacity. God opened my eyes to the fertility sector as there are lots of homes that are affected by infertility.
Do you have a personal connection to surrogacy that you want to share with us?
I started my agency first as a donor agency in 2014 and it was all to help older women who need the help of younger women to be a mother through IVF. I had to include Surrogacy a year after because a lot of women can only become a mother through Surrogacy. These are women whose womb has issues and won’t be able to carry their pregnancy.
Can you share your journey in building this business and what challenges you’ve faced in building your business, and how did you overcome them?
The first challenge in the early years was women holding back to do Surrogacy because of shame and societal judgment. We were able to launch a massive social media awareness which has helped to channel the course of Surrogacy. In the past Surrogacy hardly forms any subject of discussion in the news or media but that is history today.
How do you balance the emotional and business aspects of surrogacy?
I struggled with this up till now. Surrogacy is not a business. I cry when my intending parents cry. We are an agency helping couples to navigate the infertility challenges. Our emotions are always going to be present.
How does your surrogacy agency work, and what services do you offer?
We practice gestational surrogacy at Meet surrogate mothers. Using IVF, a couple’s egg and sperm are fertilized in the IVF lab to generate embryo that is transferred into the womb of the surrogate mother. We are also intermediary between the intended parent and the surrogate mother. We practice anonymous Surrogacy which means that both parties do not meet or know each other.
So, what’s your approach to matching intended parents with surrogates?
We have criteria for matching intended parents with surrogate mothers. Our surrogate mother firstly is a mother herself. She has given birth to at least two children. This is the most important criteria. She will also undergo psychological and medical evaluation before she is paired.
Can you tell us how you ensure the well-being and safety of both surrogates and intended parents?
We have medical partners who are very capable and this helps to ensure the safety of all parties. Our counseling department also helps to offer emotional support for both surrogate mother and intended parents.
How do you navigate the complex ethical issues surrounding surrogacy?
We have been able to stay out of issues by doing what is right by all times. The Surrogacy contract has to be signed first and this has been a legal protection for all parties.
What measures do you take to ensure informed consent and transparency for all parties involved?
Getting all parties informed about all that is entails from the start, helps with informed consent. We ensure that all parties completely understand what Surrogacy is all about and their role in the arrangement.
How do you address potential concerns around exploitation or commodification of women’s bodies?
Surrogacy is women helping women. A surrogate mother knows that she is offering a support of inestimable value. However she must ensure that all expenses she incurred during the process are well settled.
What kind of support and resources do you provide to surrogates and intended parents throughout the process?
We have our counseling department that helps to give emotional support to both parties. Talking is therapeutic and this helps to release a lot of tension.
How do you handle unexpected challenges or complications during the surrogacy journey?
We have good legal team and medical team.
What role do you think emotional support plays in the success of a surrogacy journey?
It definitely helps to eliminate all fears.
How do you handle failures, setbacks and criticism along the way?
I learnt my lesson and went back to drawing board. Our Surrogacy contract for instance, has been built over the years as issues are unfolding.
What do you believe are the most important factors that contributed to your success?
It is God, first and my personality.
How do you stay motivated and driven, especially during difficult times?
I keep my focus on what is important.
What lessons have you learned along the way that you’d like to share with others?
It cost absolutely nothing to be a good person. Be kind and compassionate.
What advice would you give to other women who are trying to balance their careers and family responsibilities?
The cultural beliefs that women are the only one who are responsible for house chores and taking care of children has definitely eaten deep into a woman’s ability to explore their full potential in the past. I am however, seeing a major shift in this . I think the GenZ generation has shifted these stereotypes.
Family building is both responsibility of a man and a woman. Both must learn to respect each other’s aspirations and come to a balance that will not slow down anyone’s career. Whatever that can be outsourced should be.
What lessons have you learned about prioritizing your own needs and well-being in the process of balancing your responsibilities?
I have learnt to take care of myself, if I want to keep helping others. I do regular medical checkup, take all my medications and ensure a healthy lifestyle. It is when you are healthy that you can function well in whatever capacity.
What message would you like to share with your audience or community about your choosing surrogacy if that’s the only option to becoming a parent?
There’s lot of fears and doubts surrounding the surrogacy process. However, if this is the part life has chosen for you to be a parent, accept it, embrace it and look for a capable agency to help you through the journey.
How do you balance your work and personal life as a surrogacy facilitator?
I travel when the stress is too much. I love watching short movies too to clear my head.
What’s your vision for the future of your surrogacy business, and how do you see it evolving?
I see Surrogacy being a channel of tourist attractions in Nigeria. Intended parents will come to country with a safe surrogacy policy. I see the new proposed legislative law in a positive light.
What’s next for your business, and what goals are you working towards?
We are presently working on the pharmaceutical line but still in line of fertility and we hope this will be a game changer by the time it starts.
