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By Christy Anyanwu
Bishop Abraham Olaleye, leader of Abraham’s Evangelistic Ministry and General Overseer of the Pentecostal Congregation, and his wife, Rev. Rachael Gbemisola Olaleye, a retired matron and minister of God, are devout Christians and role models to many. Together, they waxed popular gospel songs, including “Madu nile na si ebube” and “Mo ti gba letter Ayo”. In this interview with Saturday Sun, they shared their love story of 39 years.
How did you meet Bishop?
Rev Rachael: I was in the WOSEM (World Soul-Winning Evangelistic Ministry); it’s kind of like a CAC (Christ Apostolic Church) youth outreach of the late Baba Obadare in UNILAG. We were holding this programme that we called Thank God It’s Friday. That was in 1986, in Glover Hall, Lagos.
Our pastor called him to pray or say something. He said, Instead of ‘Thank God It’s Friday’, we are going to say, ‘Today God is fantastic’, or something like that. And suddenly I felt like, wow, who is this man? Can he be your husband? That thought, that silent thought. I was like, ah! A whole man of God, ah, devil, you’re a liar.
That’s one thing that happens to single and searching ladies. All kinds of thoughts began to fly. I quenched it immediately and that was it. After the event, he came to me and said, ‘Has anybody told you that, with your voice, you can release an album?’ He said he had a brother that worked with Chief Ebenezer Obey, he could link me up with him.
That was the beginning of the friendship and I was very happy. He gave me an appointment to meet the Commander and he fulfilled his promise.
Is it the same story with you sir?
Bishop Abraham: The WOSEM in Amuwo Odofin was having a musical concert. And they invited me to be the master of ceremonies. There, at Amuwo Odofin, the choir from the University of Lagos Fellowship came to minister in their branch at Amuwo Odofin. I was the MC. I said, ‘Can we receive ministration from the Unilag Choir?’ She had this powerful, very powerful voice.
I had to deliberately look at who this person was. You know, as she was singing, that caught my attention. Because I also sing, this slim woman with such a powerful voice was interesting. ‘Assuming that’s your wife?’ I said to myself. But I brushed that thought aside.
The keyboardist from their end was a friend of mine, the son of an Anglican priest. We lived in Surulere together. It was that friend of mine who said he would like me to come to their programme at Glover Hall, near Central Bank, in Tinubu, Lagos.
We had that programme every Friday. So, he invited me and I went. I remembered the sister that I saw about two weeks earlier and was told that the sister was there.
She was very active singing. So, they invited me to come and just say hello to the audience and I greeted them. ‘Today, “thank God is Friday”, but I say, today “God is fantastic”’. I gave it another meaning.
For the second time after seeing her and hearing her sing, I said, Ah, this lady is truly talented. I was just thinking, I don’t know whether she has waxed an album before.” I didn’t know that while I was greeting the church, the same thing that spoke to me, the person, the Holy Spirit that spoke to me, also spoke to her and said, ‘Do you think that man is your husband?’ Can you imagine, on different platforms?
So, I just walked up to her and said, ‘You are truly talented. Have you waxed an album before?’ She said, No. ‘Do you have plans to wax?’ She said, Yes. ‘I can introduce you to Ebenezer Obey. He has a gospel side of his ministry. And he likes to encourage young artists.’ And that was how I connected her.
What was the attraction?
Rev Rachael: The first attraction, like I told you, was his charisma as a preacher. I mean, I had a revelation before about who I would marry. But I didn’t see the face. So, meeting him, I saw the charisma of a preacher. That was the first attraction.
Then, going closer to him, he used one nice, strong perfume. I think the perfume was Kourous. YSL Kourous. I liked spiritualism but I also wanted balance. Because, in those early days, some brothers said they gave their life to Christ, so they didn’t use perfume or deodorant, that it was worldliness. I tried to avoid such things.
I was attracted by that. When I got closer, I said, oh, this perfume is very interesting. I was happy he was not a typical SU kind of man because I stayed away from those ones completely.
What attracted you to her?
Bishop Abraham: I had not met her until that day. When she was singing, I felt something. I had to stand up to go and see. I was expecting to see a big woman. And I would have said, Oh, no wonder her voice is so strong. But there she was, this slim lady. And that was the attraction.
In fact, I wasn’t looking at beauty or anything. It was later I discovered how that was there. But the main attraction was that she was a gifted singer.
How did you propose to her?
Bishop Abraham: I told her, this is what I’m thinking, this is what I feel the Lord is saying. And she said, Let the will of God be done. In principle, it’s like she agreed.
I like the fact that she didn’t say, Let me go and do this or that; but when she got home she changed her mind, not knowing that the pastor had somebody else in his plan for her so that all of them could stay in the same church. When she now said she didn’t think so, I said, No problem. Go and pray. If you have any rethink, reach out to me.
God began to deal with her. In her fasting, she said to God, if it’s that brother I have said no to, let him come back.
In my pride, I was like, how would I go to her again? But the Holy Spirit was saying go to her, go to her.
I asked one of the brothers in the church if he could accompany me, because all of them had been praying for me that I would make the right decision, but he refused. I shared it with somebody else. Again, he said he didn’t feel I should go. The Holy Ghost was even angrier with me. Whom will you listen to? So, I went to see her. I didn’t meet her then, but I left a message for her. I thought that when God said, Go, I would meet her, but that didn’t matter. She got home and saw my message. Three days later I went to her office in Bode Thomas, Surulere, where she was working as a nurse. She was elated to see me. She went to the Lord rather than let any pastor confuse her. That was where (good) foundation came in. I told her, ‘I feel very strongly in my heart that you are the will of God for me.’
Is that true, Madam?
Rev Rachael: He told me that God told him that I was his wife. You know the reverential fear of a man of God? Ah, I said, Amen, sir. Yes, sir. I helped him carry his Bible and he left. But when I got home, in my heart of hearts, I said how can somebody just say you are my wife and I just agree? No, it can’t be. Before I knew it, I told my pastor and he was against it. Later on, I discovered that he was afraid that, if I married him, I was going to leave his church. I told him he was not the one.
My pastor was asking me things like, Do you know where he lives? Has he got a car? Is he well established? You are going to suffer o. Better ask him a few questions. How is he going to feed you? What does he do?
That gave me the courage to ask him, what do you do? And I started saying the things I was told to ask him. He replied: Well, the birds of the field they are clothed, who feeds them? I said God. He said he lived by faith.
Because of my background from University College Hospital, Ibadan, in our general fellowship, we are very strong Christians. In the IBCU, Unilag and Ife, we had our fathers of faith like Dr. Ayodele, Dr. Ibeneme (actually, Dr. Ibeneme of blessed memory was my spiritual father), Austin Ukachi, Steve Okitika. Dr. Emiko, etc. Their wives in our sisters’ fellowship taught us that when you want to marry don’t look at physical stuff. Being born-again, they said, was the priority. So, when my pastor was telling me, he had no car, he had no house, I said that was not what I was looking for. I even went ahead to ask him if he’s born-again. I waited three days just to seek God’s face. I had many other guys coming to me. Then the Lord confirmed he was the one.
What about your family’s consent?
Rev Rachael: When the relationship had been established, of course, I had to tell my family that I was engaged, I had somebody.The questions that bombarded me, What does he do? Engineer? Doctor? Lawyer? I said, He’s a man of God. And they said, a man of God? And most of them were like, what is it with you? In fact, I was very aggressive in responding to them.
At the end of the day, they finally met him. In fact, I remember clearly my immediate younger sister, the minute she met him, was like, Oh wow, he’s a cool guy. She used that language.
Because, in those days, we were used to brothers not smelling nice. You understand? We were used to the particular way some brothers appeared. And you would immediately know that they were brothers.
Bishop Abraham: Interestingly, the person who gave me the most encouragement was her uncle, Professor Fash, at the University of Lagos. It so happened that I had been visiting their flat and I didn’t realise that somebody up there was going to be my father-in-law, kind of.
Pastor W.F. Kumuyi was living in the flat below. Her uncle was in the flat up. Because, in 1978, I would go to Pastor Kumuyi to engage him in discussions, asking questions about many things.
Her uncle gave me so much encouragement. He was the most educated person, the professor in her family, and he was saying, I like this person. That was a plus for me.
What are the secrets of your stable marriage of 39 years?
Rev Rachael: Well, I would say that the secret of a good marriage is to make sure that your husband is your best friend, your best confidant. I’m not saying you cannot discuss with anyone out there, but make him so close to the point that he can tell you anything, you can tell him anything; there is trust. When you are friends first, by the time you have children, they are grown-up, they are gone, you will not be strangers to each other.
You will still be friends. We are so close that even our children say, You guys, you guys, you guys. We speak and think alike over the years. Whatever I’m thinking, he’s thinking, whatever he’s thinking, I’m thinking.
I think it’s that thing that’s roped together. And we can agree to disagree. We have misunderstandings but we settle them, we don’t let them last. We are friends.
That’s just the summary of it. We are friends. We can be plain, unashamedly naked, without hiding anything.
Bishop Abraham: We don’t hide anything from each other. It’s just that she continues to call me Brother AB. A whole bishop like me. (laughs)…
She calls me Brother AB. But whenever she needs money, she reverts to calling me, My Lord Bishop.
When I hear that, I ask her, What do you want? Because she definitely wants something whenever she says My Lord Bishop (laughs).
What advice do you have for single ladies?
Rev Rachael: For young ladies who want to get married, believers, I’m talking to Christians, they should seek the face of their Father, God. It’s very important. Yes, you have your pastor, prophet or whatever, but your personal relationship with Jesus matters.
He talks to you like in an earthly father-and-daughter conversation. Don’t just say that this is the brother and that’s final. Seek God’s face and let there be a confirmation. And they shouldn’t use physical things as their benchmark because that’s what I hear happening now. Must have a good car, must have a house. Just pray that God gives you a friend, a brother, a real Christian. As long as you meet a man that loves God, then you have a husband.
A man who loves God will love you automatically.
What is your advice to single men who want to marry?
Bishop Abraham: If they understand the gospel, if they understand what it means to be a true child of God, then the whole purpose of marriage will be understood.
Paul said, a man should love his wife as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her. At the end of that passage in Ephesians 5, he said, ‘But I speak about Christ and the church’. So it’s more about Christ and the church because all of us who are children of God are ultimately married to the Lord.
You cannot be asking for a good wife when you yourself are not good. God will not answer your prayer by giving you a good wife when you are a bad person. We always see politically that a nation gets the type of leader it deserves.
So, a man will always get the type of wife he deserves. A woman will get the type of husband she deserves. If we show ourselves to be godly and friendly, God will give us people of the same mind.
So, men should love the Lord. They should understand what the gospel is about – befriending Jesus and making him your saviour. My slogan is also, ‘Boys don’t marry, men marry. Girls don’t marry, women marry’. It’s about maturity. And then the man, when you marry a woman, if your wife happens to be a successful career woman, you must make sure that there’s no insecurity and you’re not intimidated by that.
Rev Rachael: That’s one thing I see in my husband. My husband is never intimidated by my popularity. In those days, whenever I was going somewhere, he allowed me wholeheartedly. He trusts me. If I have a meeting in Kano, going with the band, he would be praying. He’s not somebody that would be stalking: Where are you now? Who are you talking to? You are talking to a man. I saw your brother smiling. You know, insecurity, it kills marriage.
So, trust is very, very important, especially as a man. Even if she’s now the First Lady or the Head of State, she’s still your wife.
That respect and trust and releasing the woman into her destiny is very crucial in marriage. If you do that, there will be peace. But some men sit down on their wives, will not allow her to shine or do anything, the woman will have all kinds of anger.
Do you know why some men become lonely in old age? Mistrust. That’s why the women, immediately they have children, they start to decide they are going to take care of their children. They will just abandon the man because they have been wounded for years. They know how this man treated her. So any opportunity to run away, they leave him on his own. But when you have a thriving marriage, a man that has taken good care of you, has done so much, even if the children want to keep you, they say, ‘Please, my husband is waiting for me’, that kind of thing.
What does your wife like or dislike?
Bishop Abraham: My wife is a very, very funny human being. You know, your wife can be troublesome sometimes. But then it gets to a place where, when she’s not around, you miss her trouble. You understand what I mean? You are so used to one another. She’s an outspoken person. With her, what you get is what you see. What you see is what you get. She’s not somebody who pretends.
She’s also a giver. Sometimes, before you know it, that big money, she has given everything out to people that have needs around her. She’s generous. She’s not somebody you can manipulate. Talk from now till tomorrow, what she wants to do is what she is going to do. I think it’s good when you have a spouse that is opposite of you in certain things. It complements. But if all of you go the same direction, it’s somehow. So, I see her as somebody who complements me.
What does your husband like and dislike?
Rev Rachael: When we just got married, I found out my husband does not like unruly women. People who fight and shout. He just likes it when, instead of you shouting or discussing a matter or making any fuss, just sit down and tell him, talk like normal. Just calm down. He likes somebody that is respectful and humble. My husband detests pride in people generally. If you are proud, even like God, he doesn’t like pride.
He likes honesty, sincerity. Just be honest. Tell him what it is and he forgives. My husband forgives even when it is me that is wrong. You will see him apologise. If we had issues in those days, he’d be the one apologising even when I was the one that was wrong. He’s just a very humble man.
I love his humility. I give God the glory for that because I’m sure he could just find himself under that grace. He’s a very humble man, to a fault.
