Today is the midpoint of June. When the month ends in 15 days, half of the year will pass with it. It is just right at this point to look back to the beginning of 2025 in January and go over the months that followed, to do a review of how relationships have fared.
Have men and women lived up to romantic expectations? Have couples been taking flights to Jerusalem and back or are some still waiting in the departure lounge?
To all who gave positive answers, I commend you. Congratulations are in order because several marriages are in trouble because of complaints, infidelity, poor romantic decisions and a whole lot. Some spouses wish there could be re-incarnation, to enable them make better choices of men or women in their lives.
Now I ask, how many men and women are still obeying the romantic rules despite marital challenges? How many wake up regularly with a smiling face from a powerful oil-rig exploration of the previous night? How many women would look back and hail their men and prepare their favourite meals in appreciation of a romantic journey through night? How many men could pretend to be mad in the afternoon, just walk into their homes, lock the doors on themselves and their wives and call it an ‘afternoon for two.’ Whatever that very afternoon would be a secret between the two of them. How many can replace anger, bitterness, pains and broken hearts with laughter, open mind, pleasure while activating and pressing the romantic button?
Interestingly, most organizations take stock of their businesses, do check and balance and know where the company stands. The same energy should sincerely be channeled to love, romance and sexual relationship, and marital status between a couple. There is basically nothing wrong for a husband and wife to review their romantic relationship. Men ask yourselves these questions: “Am I living romantically up to expectation as a husband or do I use poor business experience to kill the vibe. Henrietta, a close pal in school, married her boyfriend Henry out of infatuation. Within years, they experienced a lot of hiccups in their relationship. Henrietta’s key complaint was mostly sex starvation. Hear her: “It was my birthday. I made sure the house was filled with celebration all day while expecting my hubby to hit me harder in the other room. Even when we were on the bed, I tried to reach out to him, he increased his snoring syndrome. That night my adrenaline wanted to burst as I asked, am I in bed with a fellow woman? She expected they should be on the same wavelength in romance which would have been icing on the cake.
Remarkably, this is one of the reasons some women look for attention, love and romance outside their matrimonial homes. So many men do not pay attention to their wives’ feelings, instead they visit them with all manner of physical and emotional abuse as well as cheating and betrayal. So many women complain that their partners do not pay them adequate attention. That should be taken as a red flag.
A friend once said that her husband has not bothered to discover what turns her on in the eight years of their living together. “The moment he digs himself inside of me and gets his satisfaction, he jumps out like a dog being chased. He does not care a hoot how I feel at such a sensitive moment. It is so painful that he has never bothered to try out other moves, or at least ask me what I cherish when I lie with him. He does not look at me to know the resultant effect of his action at the end of every exploration. He has done this for years and gets selfishly satisfied at the end of the show. His selfishness is the reason I have two options in mind: either to cheat on him or take a long walk from the marriage. These suggestions came to my mind because I do not get the vibes from my man.”
To the men I want to leave this food for thought: if your women are starved of sex or they complain about your poor performance while you find comfort in the hands of side chicks, then blame yourself when they find joy in the arms of virile stallions outside. Being so unfaithful to your wives, always coming back to them tired, weak and broke, ask yourselves what side-chicks add to your life? Can they stand tall and defend you in times of trouble? Are they ready to give you children like your wives? Would they bring business opportunities that will strengthen you financially? Men, I charge you to have a mid-term assessment of your relationships and judge yourselves.
Some of such illicit relationships cause lingering problems among couples. A well known personality in Nigeria’s corporate world is still engaged in a tussle over custody of a child born by his former side-chick. This is a typical example of how illicit relationships can cause lingering problems – of the type Afrobeat legend, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti described as ‘double wahala’ for a dead body.
Again, where are those men whose only names are just ‘husband’ and nothing to add to it? Men who make no contribution in the life of their wives and children. They have no protection whatsoever with their wives. There are women who gain nothing in a marriage with some men. No added education, no skill, no business, no love, no care and probably no children, just nothing other than bearing the name wife. To such men, know it from today that no lazy man makes a happy home, no matter how handsome or sexy.
The score card is still dangling before many who are ready to assess their mid-year romance for improvement. Those men who do not value their in-laws? Kudos to a great aunty who admitted that her son was the problem in his marriage. “He is not in good terms with his in-laws, but I, his mother, I am in good terms with the in-laws. His wife’s’ mother Nkoli and I were secondary school classmates and when our children made their marital intension known, it was a very welcome idea. As the once love birds fell off along the line, my friend and I do not have any issue over their disagreement.”
Men who think they pick ladies from the gutters. Know it today that a married lady is a daughter to her parents, sister to her siblings, cousin, niece and friends to other people who she has known all her life before marriage knocked on her door. Certain men marry and cut their women completely off from their families, friends and relatives. I ask such men to do a mid-year love rating and classify themselves because what goes up must surely come down. That was the first accusation late gospel artiste Osinachi Nwachukw’s family hung on her husband, Peter Nwachukwu’s head. For such men, when your sisters are treated like that, kindly accept it in good faith.
Presently, there are men whose hidden evil temple stare at their faces in their various homes, office and business areas. Men whose hands are soaked with blood, given their souls to the devil in a bit to make it big in life. Only God knows how the likes of Enugu popular native doctor and ritualist Obi Levi Obieze popularly known as “Ichie Billion’ who buries his victims alive would be feeling as he cools off in police custody. Men who are fraudulent and criminally minded in nature. Men whose every activity revolves around crime and idol worship to maintain ostentatious lifestyle. Assess yourselves and score yourselves. Male politicians who consume public funds and other consumables, every day is for the thieve, just one day is for the owner of the house. This piece is not to tear men down, but for a serious check on the love radar. There are no genuine women who would be proud of a poorly rated man.
In this mid-year assessment, where are the women who use sex as a weapon to fight back when they argue with their husbands. Where are the so-called women who say rosary when their husbands are on high speed-oil rig exploration? The same women who think their general overseers supervises their action with their men in the other room, and destroy all the embers of the love; rethink and retrace your footstep. Women who are chatter boxes, dirty, unattractive and ungovernable. The time to take the stock is now. Women, what are you doing in your relationship to keep the fire burning because relationship is a two-way thing. If you are one of those women who carelessly push your men into the hands of side-chicks, reset your brain after reading this piece. As far as your lover is not on the same radar with you, your score card is reading yellow and might read red if care is not taken.
In the same vein, there are women who bond and win the children deceptively against their father, remember there is God.
Dear men and women, please truthfully and honestly assess yourselves in your relationships and tell yourselves the honest truth. There is room for amendment, while all are still alive. Death is the only thing that cannot be fixed. Assess, repent and embrace the new life. On bended knees before God, you shall triumph.