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By Vivian Onyebukwa
Holidays, for children, are an exciting and fun period. It is one period that children look forward to after several months of academic activities. The time also provides an opportunity for parents to spend quality time with their wards. But it can be a stressful season for many parents looking for what to use in taking care of their families. Because of this and because of the current economic hardship many Nigerians are going through, this holiday is beginning to look like a curse rather than a blessing. This is because it has brought an increased sense of family responsibility. Many parents mentioned issues regarding feeding the children, clothing them, monitoring their use of smart phones which they all agree can be distracting sometimes, their movements and other social activities and settling sibling rivalries among them.
But in an interview with Saturday Sun an expert on parenting explained what parents could do to cope with what appear to be insurmountable challenges.
Feeding and phone browsing
Of all the challenges facing parents, this seems to be the foremost. Help! Our children are eating us out of the house. Many parents interviewed would have said that if saying so would help to take care of the challenge they are facing on this area.
Bridget Nwokolo, a mother of two threw up her hands into the air when she was questioned about her experience on feeding her children during the holiday. She said: “They eat a lot. By the time I came back the other day, they had finished two packs of spaghetti. I even thought that they shared them with their friends. But no, they ate them up. What would I do?” She looked into your eyes as if she was expecting to find the answer to the rhetorical question she asked in your pupils. When she could not, she volunteered an answer: “They are children. So they need food to grow.”
However, in the face of rising cost of living, she revealed the means she had devised to cope. And she is happy to recommend them to you. She ticked them off on her fingers. “For breakfast, which is very important, I give them moi moi and pap. When I don’t have moi moi, we do pap and akara (bean cake). We used to take bread and tea for breakfast. But bread is now out of because of the high cost. Sometimes too, we do noodles for breakfast and spice it with scent and Uziza leafs to make the children enjoy it. The cost of feeding is high now. So I try to manage. But at the same time, I give them balanced food. And anytime I want to give them tea and bread, I economise things by buying sachet beverages.”
Joyce Joseph, mother of three, two boys and a girl, has a similar challenge in feeding her children. And, she explained why it is a big challenge: “My children like bread. My first son can finish the biggest loaf of bread in a matter of minutes. But feeding is not my problem because I understand that when they are at home they eat more. The problem I have now with them is the phone. I have an extra phone. And, they are insisting that I should give it to them to use. I am not comfortable with their demand. I hate it when children form the habit of using phones because they distract them from the real things they are supposed to do, especially their academics. Who says children can’t study during the holidays? If you leave your book for a day, it will leave you for a month. My second son who is about to go to SSI is blackmailing me, telling me that he is no longer a baby. He would want me to release the phone for him. However, I have enrolled them in summer coaching classes to reduce too much idling away.”
Caroline Nnadi, mother of four said that for the security situation in the South East, she would have sent her children home to spend their holiday with their grandparents. She told Saturday Sun: “I am not ready for their troubles this time around. Children need close monitoring, and if you don’t have the time, it might be disastrous. They want to spend quality time with their telephones, browsing, which is not totally good. So what I have done is to engage them in a series of academic activities by hiring home tutors for them. I allow them to eat anything they want to eat as long as it is available. The only regret is that prices of food items are skyrocketing. But what would one do? At least, now that they are on holiday, let them feed better than they are doing in school. Three of them are in the boarding house.”
On the phone issue, Ini Obong who runs a travel agency in Lagos, said: “My children complain that the house is boring because I refused to give them a phone for browsing. According to her, she allowed them to stay at home and just eat, watch television, and rest because she wanted them to rest from academic activities. “But they don’t seem to like it. Rather, they want to go out and keep parading the streets, which I don’t want.”
Sibling rivalry
But for Joan Ekwem, a petty trader at Ijegun market, enrolling them in school’s coaching lesson is not enough preoccupation for her children. After the day’s lesson, her children, she said, do join her in the shop to attend to customers. She explained why she opted for such a strategy: “I don’t want to leave them alone at home. Else, I would receive a lot of complaints from every one of them when I get home. They also eat a lot. We are managing to feed them with whatever they want. They are on holiday, and therefore, should enjoy a little.”
Complaints upon complaints! That is the same reason that Adebayo Lanre and his wife, Yemisi, claimed to have engaged their children in activities other than academics. Yemisi said: “I don’t want to shout, and their troubles are too much. You would settle quarrels at intervals. So what we have done is to send them to learn trades. My girl who is 11 is learning how to bake. Of the two boys, one is learning men’s fashion and designing; the other is learning computer repairs. As for feeding, they don’t eat much-cooked food but biscuits, sweets, soft drinks and beverages. They are always buying one thing or the other which I don’t really like. That is why I want them to leave the house in the morning and come back in the evening.”
Peter Okon, a father of two, lamented: “I am looking for where they can go for holidays. Their problem is too much. They would make one talk from morning till night. They demand all sorts of unnecessary things, not minding whether you have the money or not. They quarrel over nothing. I don’t really want them to go for summer coaching, else I would have enrolled them. They are just two of them, a boy and a girl, ten and five years old respectively. They are too young; otherwise, I would have enrolled them to learn some trades.”
Things your children can do during this holiday – expert
But in a chat with the paper, an expert on parenting, Dr. Ngozi Okere, highlighted a number of things children can do while they are on holiday, apart from engaging them in academic activities. She argued that with the way things are in the country, one needs to learn a skill in order to make extra money. She opined: “The economy is bad, so we should not continue to wait for the government to provide jobs. And, of course, there is no job anywhere.” She advised parents to allow their children to learn such skills as photography, computer training, fashion designing, catering, baking, and a whole lot of other skills during holidays.” These, she said, could help them in the future.
She further suggested that parents can use the holidays to take their children to the museum, go for fun or learn one or two other entertainment skills apart from entrepreneurship. This will make them more knowledgeable. Also, they can learn new languages faster than adults. “Find places around you where languages are taught or hire a language tutor for them. Within two weeks, you might be surprised they are able to construct a sentence in a new language. You can equally go for a train ride with them. Let them have fun. Also, take them to the cinema, and let them watch educational films. There are places one can learn how to play piano or other musical instruments. Take them there; no knowledge is wasted. If your children love sports, you can let them dedicate quality time to sports during the holidays.”
