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These are terrible times for teenagers and other young adults, who belong to the Generation Z, born between the late 1990s and 2010. They are commonly referred to as GenZ.
Members of this generation grew up with the internet, social media, and smartphones. GenZs are known for being digitally native, diverse, and socially conscious. They tend to value authenticity, individuality, and community, and often use their online presence to express themselves and connect with others. GenZs are also known for being entrepreneurial, open-minded, and passionate about creating positive change.
However, there is another aspect of life which some GenZ teenagers and young adults now exhibit: they misunderstand the concept of friendship, do not show empathy and a sense of humanity.
An adage describes a good friend as one greater than a brother. On the contrary, some GenZ do nightmarish things to their so-called friends without batting an eye. Quite often on social media, these young people expose the supposedly wrong deeds of their friends. They put on public display all the “dirty stuff” about the same person that is supposed to be their friend. I just wonder, do they truly understand what friends represent in human relationships? Both the males and females are guilty of this. Evidently, they do not understand the true meaning of friendship or who is a friend. For context, Walter Winchell, a syndicated American newspaper columnist and radio commentator, described a friend as “the one who walks in when the world walks out from someone’s life.” Similarly, the Oxford dictionary lets us know that a friend is someone who can serve as emotional and positive support in one’s life. From these descriptions of who a friend is, it is quite clear that most GenZ people lack empathy, which has long been associated with true friendship in the preceding generations.
You find that most “friendships” among young people today tend towards negativity, which is called peer group pressure. Some people heap the blame for negative GenZ behaviour on parents and the home. Agreed, there is a clear and present need for parents and guardians to set the right standard for these young ones. Bad manners must be intentionally purged from them. There should be no sugar-coating of negative conduct and no window dressing either. The focus should be to enlighten and equip the young ones with the social and emotional intelligence to safely operate in their world. Along with the grace of God, such training will help them, to recognize potential bad friends and give them a wide gap. The absolute truth is that there are hundreds of thousands of bad friends out there. It only takes a focused person to recognise the early warning signs and attitudes of a potential bad friend and then to wisely withdraw from such toxic friendship.
In my opinion, a bad friend is that fellow who does not have the fear of God. Some of the qualities of bad friends include undue sense of competition, jealousy, encouraging bad behaviour, stealing the ideas or intellectual assets of their friends, interfering with social and professional contacts, revealing information and personal stuff about their friends.
Now, what would young adults who are friends gain from killing their friend just because the victim secured a job before them? Four best friends in Onitsha were seen as perfect friends because they wined and dined together. They were often seen in each other’s company, probably believing in God for a brighter future. One of them, Oliver, who studied Accounting in one of the foremost universities in the Southeast, served as a corps member in a new generation bank in the geopolitical zone. Immediately after completing the service year, his boss recommended him for the job. He was invited for an interview with others and he scaled the hurdle. The bank employed him and he was due to resume within seven days, on a Monday. With joy and excitement, he broke the good news to his friends. Rather than rejoicing with him, they hatched an evil plot against him. On the Saturday preceding the Monday, Oliver was in a jubilant mood, washing and preparing to start resume as a bank staff. Then his phone rang, and it was a call from one of his buddies. They asked him to come and meet them somewhere. He abandoned the clothes he was washing and proceeded to meet with his friends. After some hours, Oliver’s lifeless body was taken to a hospital by these friends. Sighting his protruding tongue, the doctor sensed foul play and asked one of them to keep watch while he got something from his consulting room. The doctor invited the police who came immediately. On sighting the police, the two friends outside ran away while the one inside was arrested. He then spilled the beans and told the police how they strangled Oliver because he secured a juicy job before them. Devilish friends from the pit of hell.
It shows how low friends could be driven by envy and jealousy!
Consider this other case: Obinna graduated and was going for induction in school. His mother dropped him off at the park to continue his journey to the school. He gladly announced that he would be with his friends on campus. Three hours after he got to school, his mother got a call that her son was shouting “my chest, my chest” before died on the spot. His course mates were arrested and interrogated by the police, who discovered that his friends laced his drink with a voluminous amount of tramadol. Meanwhile, Obinna was not the drinking type.
It really shocks the mind that GenZ people perpetrate evil with cold-hearted ease, and still feel comfortable in their skin. Zoom in on Pius and Gina who got into a romantic relationship two years ago. While they were still at the stage of dating, Gina was already beginning to experience domestic abuse at the hands of Pius. She decided to end the relationship. Pius persisted, offering apologies and promised to be of good conduct. Gina refused all pleas. With the rejection, Pius resolved that if he could not have Gina, then no other person could have her. He decided to plan evil. One day, he disguised as a despatch person who came to deliver goods to Gina. When security inquired from Gina, whether she was expecting a delivery, she responded in the negative. The security man denied Pius entrance. Still determined to execute his evil plan, Pius hid somewhere, climbed the wall and got access into Gina’s compound, where he stabbed her with a knife. It was her loud scream that attracted neighbours who caught Pius and handed him over to the police.
I ask again: are these friends or enemies? They are more like ‘frenemies’ whose hands are soaked with blood. Who will cleanse the land of the blood of slain innocent GenZ?
One of the great advantages of social media is that it reveals the kind of people individuals, particularly GenZ, should not have as friends. Friends who go through other people’s phone (s) to harvest information and then betray them, are they worthy friends? Those who lure out their friends and have them killed for ritual purposes, to live big from the proceeds, are devilish enemies from the deepest part of hell.
Young secondary school students, who encourage others to show poor moral conduct from a tender age are bad friends. One of the secondary schools in Alimosho Local Government Area was recently shut down by the state government and is under investigation. The school is battling to save its name after a viral video surfaced on the internet, which showed teenage students smoking what was probably a narcotic or psychotropic drug. Some other students, who have already begun having illicit sexual relationships, sampling hard drugs, have become rude and display nasty attitudes to family members and school authorities, are all bad friends that should be absolutely avoided.
Consider Florence Ikengaonye, who was brought from the village by her unmarried aunt, to rewrite the West African Senior School Certificate Examination (WASSCE) in Lagos. In no time, she made new friends in her new school, who taught her how to keep late nights and be rude at home, to the extent of fighting her aunt. The aunt, Patience, promptly sent her back to the village. Unknown to her, Florence left Lagos with a one month pregnancy. Suffice it to say that she became an emergency mother at 18 and her life took a bad turn as she lost the opportunity to pass the examination and be sponsored for university education.
Recall the story of the young students some years ago, who pushed their male classmate into a swimming pool in a hotel and allowed him to drown. They were envious of the fact that he had good pocket money and the girls liked him more. It didn’t matter that he was also very generous to his male classmates, buying them suya, food and drinks. In one of the Southeast schools, a female student was locked out by her roommates because she initially refused to join them in their dealings with men in high places. They pressured her until she was tutored and initiated into mini-prostitution. It was only then that she was accepted back into the room.
Why is this generation full of bitterness, envy and stubbornness? In an examination hall, 17-year-old Marcel and his gang overpowered tiny Enioluwa, a fellow classmate, who is perceived to be the smartest boy in the class and thoroughly beat him. On that misty morning, all students who came into the hall winked at Enny as he was popularly called, discreetly requesting him to ‘spread’ his answer sheets, to allow them to copy. Recognizing the implication of their request, Enny carefully guarded his work, in obedience to the invigilator’s instruction. After the examination, his classmates dragged him to a corner and dealt with him, inflicting injuries on him.
These are terrible times for young to grow up. No matter how bad the situation is, children must live and thrive. That is why they need to recognize and stay away from bad friends. The young ones who are tending towards bad conduct should make a U-turn, desist from the evil ways and God will help them become worthy ambassadors and responsible citizens.
