Being a Mum
As a mother, disciplining your children whenever they misbehave is part of your duty in molding their character.
But there are some mistakes mothers can make when disciplining their children that can produce unintended results and create barriers to their children’s future good behaviour.
While the behaviour of your children may drive you crazy at times, you must not discipline them when you are still boiling with anger. Don’t lose your temper otherwise you might hurt your child because of anger.
Raising your voice, swearing, or getting out of control might teach your children that yelling, curses anger, and violence are acceptable in their relationships with friends and family. Say no to violence when disciplining your children.
Instead, when you feel the anger welling up, take a few seconds or minutes of time-out and regroup. Children respond best to a calm, reasonable approach that is direct and precise.
Physical punishment such as spanking, jerking a child by his arm, or hitting them tends to produce adverse results. It teaches a child that the way to deal with conflict is to use physical force.
Learning alternative child discipline skills can also help you break the tendency to lash out physically at your children. You should always remember that your principal role as mother is teaching your children the right things about life.
Many mothers discipline their children in an inconsistent manner. The same behavioural offense will have different responses at different times. If one time your child uses a swear word you just laugh, and the next time you punish them, the child will become confused and not know what is expected.
A well-established and understood set of rules and standards with defined consequences tends to work the best. Being consistent in child discipline is the best way to teach them what is or is not acceptable behaviour.
Trying to bribe a child to behave in a certain way by promising a reward only teaches a child that they get a prize if they act inappropriately first, and then change their behaviour.
A good child discipline alternative is to remind them how good it feels to make right choices or to simply give the predetermined positive consequence for positive behaviour.
It is critical for parents to be united in the disciplinary strategy. If a child can run to one parent and find leniency, it tends to destroy the other parent’s credibility. As a mother, don’t override your partner’s disciplinary decisions in public. If you have a disagreement, discuss it privately with one another.
Don’t feel obligated to get your child’s consent for the discipline you impose. You are the parent and have the responsibility to discipline. Your word on a disciplinary matter is final and non-negotiable. As your child matures, you can begin to share reasons why you feel as you do about things, but in any case, your word is final.
Trying to use guilt on your child will backfire. If you make a child feel responsible for things that go wrong in your life, you are not acting like a mother. Stay away from the guilt trips and just impose consequences whenever your child misbehaves.
Parenting commandments fathers must obey
Being a father is not easy. It is not a walk in the park. It is even more difficult to be great father when you don’t have a good father figure in your life.
Fathers who wish to be successful at parenting need to learn from other successful fathers. They also need to be present in their children’s lives because being an absent father is not a good thing.
Successful fathers are defined by how their children have turned out and the quality of their relationships with them. But this success is not achieved overnight; there are some common practices underneath.
Successful fathers communicate regularly and effectively with their children. Fathers who have had success with their children have spent time talking together. As a father, creating a tradition of communication opens the door for sensitive conversations as your children grow.
Many families have lots of family activities and time together, but successful fathers commit time and energy to being with their children one-on-one. They may have a monthly interview with each child to talk about their lives, their fears, their successes, their needs and their goals.
When fathers spend quality time individually with their children, it significantly builds their relationship and creates an opportunity for children to trust their fathers with their issues.
Raising successful children is not just about having fun and building relationships. It is also about instilling values and building responsible adults. Setting family rules and living by them is a way to teach your children consistency and responsibility.
Giving your child everything he or she wants whenever they wants it teaches children to have unrealistic expectations in life. Learning the importance of delayed gratification is important to becoming a responsible adult.
Also, helping children learn the value of saving for a desired item and waiting for it teaches them a life skill that will serve them as they go through life.
Children experience love in very different ways. Tailoring your loving expressions to your child’s love language will help them feel your love in a more focused way.
Successful fathers invest in their relationship with their children’s mother. You should not speak ill of your children’s mother, particularly if you no longer live together. Successful fathers resist that temptation to always criticize their children’s mother.
If you want to be a successful father, you should know your children’s friends. It is sad that some fathers don’t know the name of their children’s school, the name of their class teacher or their friends.
As a father, you should make sure that you know the children your children are hanging out with. Make your home inviting to them and then invite them over once in a while. This will enable you study them and their behaviour.
While not hovering, make sure you know these friends and their parents as well. Know the influence these friends are having on your children and help steer your children to the best of them.
Fathers need to be aware of the dangers lurking in our modern world and help their children avoid them. Sexual abuse, drug abuse, gangs, bullying, pornography and other risks seem to be ever present.
Teach your children values and the power of saying no to those who would put their lives and their well-being at risk. Prepare your kids and protect them from negative external influences.
Following these basic practices will create the chance for fathers to successfully raise their children to be productive, self-reliant and responsible adults.