Boys don’t cry

Stakeholders unveil blueprint for raising responsible men, rewarding academic excellence

By Johnson Adebowale

For decades, the mantra has echoed through Nigerian homes, school corridors, and playgrounds: Boys don’t cry. But last week inside the Glass House at the University of Lagos, a coalition of educators, parents and child advocates gathered to declare that the silent suffering behind those three words must finally come to an end.

In a landmark gathering tagged The Boy Child Blueprint: Character and Purpose, The Odushu Foundation, in partnership with Alerte Universal and the United Nations, unveiled a roadmap for intentionally nurturing, mentoring, and empowering the often-overlooked boy child. The maiden edition of the event wasn’t merely a conference – it was a call to action.

“For a long time, our society has been advocating for the girl child, and I realised that the boy child is being neglected one way or another,” said Mr. Karinate Odushu, founder of The Odushu Foundation. “A boy child who is not properly guided today can become a problem for society tomorrow.”

It was a sentiment that echoed throughout the day’s discussions. While acknowledging that girl-child advocacy has rightfully gained momentum over the years, speakers argued that true national balance will remain elusive unless young boys are also equipped with emotional intelligence, leadership skills, and purpose-driven character.

Dr. James Useghan, a United Nations Peace Ambassador and founder of Alerte Universal, stressed that the initiative is designed to create safe spaces where boys can speak up without shame. He said:  “At some point, the girl child is always encouraged to report situations and cases, but the boy child should also have the opportunity to report issues and seek support. We are taking precautionary measures regarding safety, and that is the focus of this blueprint.”

Perhaps the most striking theme of the day was the urgent need to dismantle the toxic stereotype that equates masculinity with emotional suppression. Odushu lamented how many young boys bottle up their feelings until those repressed emotions erupt into violence.

He said: “When a boy wants to express his emotions, he is told that boys do not cry and that he must be strong. Parents must pay attention to the emotional needs of boys if we want to address many of the problems in society.”

That message was reinforced by Mr. Eric Okomado, founder of Growtheon, who described the current reality as a societal crisis. “We have raised confident and capable women, but many boys have been left to grow without proper character formation. As a result, we see young men involved in violence, fraud, and unhealthy pursuits aimed at gaining quick wealth. The father needs to be a father indeed—not just a parent,”

The event also issued a stern warning against outsourcing parental responsibility. Guest speaker, Moyinoluwa Olutayo challenged fathers directly: “The society is no longer in need of boys who are merely good. Society needs men of noble character. The time to train them is now, not when they are already adults.”

Still, the blueprint was not all critique and caution. It also celebrated excellence. In a powerful gesture aimed at rewarding discipline and hard work, The Odushu Foundation presented scholarship awards worth N1 million each to two outstanding medical students: Fidelis Angela Omowero of the University of Benin (CGPA 4.83) and Oladele Adeola David of the University of Lagos (CGPA 4.68). “This award has encouraged me to work even harder,” said an emotional David.

For the young secondary school students in attendance, the message landed with clarity. “I have learned that I should keep moving forward, remain disciplined and persistent,” said Showunmi Alameen Ajayi of Ajayi Crowther Memorial Senior Grammar School. “The boy child should not allow bad grades or setbacks to stop him from achieving his goals.”

As the programme ended, the consensus was clear: building a healthier society requires more than academic success. It requires boys who can cry, ask for help, and still grow into men of purpose. The organisers have committed to making this blueprint a sustained movement, one where mentorship replaces neglect, and character becomes the true measure of a man.