Follow Us on Google
Today, children live in a highly sexualized society where they are exposed to sexual language, images, and behaviors before they are developmentally prepared to handle them.
They didn’t ask for hormones at age 12, but they are stuck learning how to handle their changing bodies and urges in a society that shows them yes to sex but tells them not now.
Most mothers dread having “the talk” with their children, mostly because they can’t conceive the idea that their babies are becoming young adults and are at an age where sex is a probable thing.
Some mothers struggle with how much to tell their children or how much information they think their children can handle.
Other mothers struggle with when to broach the subject with their children. They struggle to talk about sex with their children at all for various reasons, including their own sexual baggage.
Like it or not, ‘the talk’ is something every parent should have with their children. It is better your children learn from you and ask you their questions in a safe, loving, judgment-free environment, rather than attempting to learn from the internet, which will lead them to things that could skew their perspective about healthy sex.
One thing mothers must acknowledge is that every child is different and there is no right way to educate them about sex. Many child psychologists recommend speaking to children at an earlier age.
If you talk to your children at an age-appropriate level from the beginning, there may never be a need to have a big talk. Instead, you will have a series of small talks with your children that take place over time, which in turn will make you a constant and steady resource for your children. This will be important when children reach the age of sexual exploration and experimentation.
Here are some tips to help you prepare for your talk:
Use the proper names for body parts such as vagina, labia, and clitoris for girls and penis and scrotum for boys, instead of pet names.
When children know and are comfortable using the proper vocabulary for their private body parts, it gives them a line of defense against potential abuse. When children feel awkward speaking about body parts, they may also be uncomfortable asking questions.
If you take away the taboo feelings around the various terms associated with body parts, the words will instead become a normal part of their vocabulary and this freedom of expression will allow them to feel more comfortable having those conversations, especially with you.
Look for some teachable moments. If you look for it, everyday life offers plenty of opportunities to talk about sex in a way that makes sense and is appropriate to pursue conversation with your children.
Some common examples include when you see a commercial for birth control or condoms, or when a neighbor, family member, or close friend announces they are pregnant.
You can teach your children about sex when you watch news stories or commercials that deal with sexual themes as well as when they play video games that have sexual undertones or promote more adult themes.
