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Like they had done on different occasions, Matthew and his wife, Lola, once again disturbed the peace of neighbours in the estate where they live.
This time around it was in the wee hours when loud banging was heard coming from the direction of their flat. The midnight din woke up the other tenants who kept quiet wondering whether armed robbers had invaded the compound.
Carefully, Pastor Tade tiptoed in the darkness to a window, trying to pinpoint the source of the loud sound. As his wife tried to switch on her phone, intent on alerting the police station, Tade stopped her, fearing that the light of the phone could draw the attention of the supposed robbers. Just then the banging got louder, followed with the angry voice of a man who shouted, ‘Open this door now.’ Pastor Tade recognized the voice as that of Matthew, their neighbour in Flat 2. He was not quite surprised because he had discreetly counselled them over their supremacy fights. In fact, it was rumoured that their former landlord sent them packing because of frequent fights, worried that they were a wrong influence on the much younger adults in the neighbourhood.
The fights increased after Matthew burnt his fingers in a real estate deal that turned bad, leaving him in a financial mess. Just before midnight a hot argument ensued between them. To avoid a physical attack by the fiercely enraged husband, Lola took refuge in the children’s room and firmly locked the door.
As their contests became frequent, Lola an ICT expert who earns in good digits was advised to move out of their matrimonial home and seek legal redress before she could be killed in another incident of domestic violence.
Now, when Sarah and John agreed to marry, they sat down as Christians to look at their dos and don’ts and which were not tallying at all. While John loved the idea of extended family relationships in a normal African setting, Sarah wanted a parochial lifestyle in marriage. But their parents who were church leaders did not see the incompatibility, instead were happy that their children were going in for a Christian marriage. They went ahead and consummated the marriage which later collapsed and parents called it satanic attack.
Well, there are so many uncountable reasons couples differ in their relationships, which is not far from infidelity, lack of respect, financial independence, management, family tussle and other uncountable differences which translates to everyman to his own.
It is no longer an argument that so many couples have moved from soulmates to roommates because of their differences and it collaborates an online report that says there were already 4000 divorce applications in Abuja, the nation’s capital when the year just started and that some of those marriages were less than a year old. When this post trended, I wondered if actually there is a spiritual attack on marriages and relationships or just a ruse. Same online saw a group of divorcee women celebrating what they called ‘End of an error’ and live a free life in Porth Harcourt. The mantra of the association is “I do, I did and I am done.”
From the Christian angles, most believers think marriages are under satanic attacks, they might be right in their thinking, but there are so many attitudes that need to be changed in the life of men and women. In my simple analogy, I think those wrong attitudes are the satanic attack. With what is manifesting from the home of Nollywood star, Yul Edochie; he could have averted these embarrassments if he refused to yield into the mess. I am a strong advocate of character formation which all should look into as early as possible in life. Most parents do not look at the remarks of the school authorities; they are concerned about the marks alone. This is where it starts from. A matured man and woman should be able to recognize when the satanic attack is creeping into his or her marriage and prevent it on time. If a woman shows her husband that utmost respect which is what men crave for, most of these problems would be settled. Men do not need only sex and food, but that respect from their woman. It is for the reason of peace that the great evangelist Ebuka Obi of Zion Ministries admonished his female congregants to respect their husbands at all times, no matter what the problem is. “In fact, he said “even after the oil-well exploration, praise your man because he is the head of the home. To the men, he said “Women go by emotion. Love your woman genuinely, protect and provide for her.” To this end, Tobenna disagrees with the evangelist and says ‘when a woman is personally possessed by evil spirit, all these admonitions will not transform her, otherwise, “After my marriage to my ex-wife, I discovered she was very hard working in business, I moved funds to the tone of N10m into her account to continue her business because I felt we are building an empire. I never knew I shut myself on the leg by empowering her. The day I asked for the proceed, N800,000.00 was presented to me and I was ranged in anger; in that chaotic situation, she moved out of the house and that led to our divorce. My offence was the bulk money given to her, If I was giving her N10,000.00 weekly, she would have remained loyal and respectful.”
Regrettably, from horrible experiences in marriages with meaningful and un-meaningful reasons, poor conducts and complaint about themselves, it has almost become impossible how a circle of friends would sit down for a drink without remembering a classmate, sister or brother whose marriage is in danger or even over. As the number increases by the day, solution is yet to be found. There are a lot of attitudes when thrown away revisits and change, that satanic attack would be eradicated and joy envelopes the environment. One might not completely rule out the fact that there are strong men and women in families and societies who bridge the gap and speed of other people’s progression through diabolical means, even as the bible recognizes it. It does happen, but such demonic people do not have the final say. Responsible attitude makes the difference. When a woman becomes polite and respects her husband, she will also be treated like a queen and vice versa. When a man appreciates his woman and respect the quality of who she is instead of his side chick, they will also be happier, and no one will notice the satanic attack in their union. A jealous and insecure husband or wife will always have problem in his or her marriage and no amount of deliverance will change him, except he removes the spirit of insecurity and embrace love, appreciation and goodness. In their minds, ‘Why would my wife earn better than me, instead let her stop the job, I am her husband.’ Are horrible thoughts that destroys unions. When men accept the new normal where women now have financial independence, that has also made their voices to be heard where it matters; though it seems some men are struggling to accept this norm. Truth be told is that some women have also mismanaged the new wave of success and rob it on their men and the result is the rift between a husband and wife. If both change the attitude towards the finances, satanic attack would disappear.
Surprisingly, when people cite examples of olden days polygamous marriages where all lived together and the man stands in firm control of his entire home, do such people remember that civilization has removed the scale from the eyes of women with education and armed them with financial freedom and professionalism? What were the financial powers of those women united in polygamy then? Most of them were married to service the man in the other room and brood children. Such marriages then could be described as ‘water seeing its level’ because those women were not educationally and financially empowered.
Dear People of goodwill, know it that the fruits of the holy spirit as written in the book of Galatians remains the beginning of good conduct for both men and women. Let us collectively drive the satanic attack by turning into new leaves.
