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Should activity in the ‘Other Room’ be regulated? Should there be rules and regulations for the game of love or other issues? Should it be a private place for just two souls to rock sex at its best?
The emerging picture is that there should reasonably be no such rules as long as the game is clean and decent. There should be no barrier between spouses when they are in the ‘other room.’ Anything and every possible thing should happen in the other room between two responsible, consenting adults, especially married couples. It should be a free trade zone. In fact, a free grabbing centre where happiness rules. For this romantic friendly match, there should be no referee, flashing of a yellow or red card. The accepted red card should be goals scored in the love zone.
Now, the other room should be a place meant for two hearts that beat as one. In fact, so many people do not understand how sacred, serene, cozy, private and respectable the other room should be. It is a place reserved for the mature minds. Where the games of men and women are played, not for the children. Little wonder wives cordon off their bedrooms from other occupants of the house because of its unique importance. Bursting into some bedrooms in a home can get one seriously sanctioned. A sister told of how knocking on her brother-in-law’s bedroom sent her packing. “It was my national service year in Lagos, and I found comfort in the home of my auntie and her husband. The husband was carrying their toddler daughter who was crying profusely. Trying to play a good assistant, I knocked on the door, stretched out my hand to carry the baby. Next was my aunty who was walking just after me and rained abuses on me. Seeing the crying baby in my hand, she went gaga “Why did you enter my bedroom, what are you looking for?
Surprisingly, I told her, I just went in to carry the crying baby. That response did not calm her down. She was still raging in anger and I did not understand it. The message did not sink into me until now that I am married; in retrospect I understood that my extension of going into a bedroom is a warning that might disrupt what usually happens in the ‘other room’ frequently. It was to warn me next time.”
Society is witnessing new descriptions in the colouration of activities in the other room. In the face of the wave of change, fundamentalists, conformists and traditionalists in marital intimacy are about to be swept away. It is a new era! No longer can couples restrict intimacy to a timetable. Having embraced the Internet, social media, air travel, eating out and visits to the malls and the cinema, there should be room created to accept ‘emergency romance’ in the other room. That is a sure way of spicing up marriage.
Incidentally, this ‘accident’ is not happening outside the vicinity or in a strange land, but in a comfort zone that belongs to the husband and wife. Every opportunity might not be for the oil-rig, but that close warmth circuit, that tight unending hug that emanated from slangs like ‘Old fire no de quench’ and romantic expressions from the man that convey these words, ‘You are the only one.’ All these should be experienced because it will also spice up the marriage, quench burning fire and relieve tensions as often as possible. It is a journey for just two, with no third party required, not even the children from the marriage
I always give it to churches that organize programmes entitled: “Let’s Talk About Sex.” From what I gathered such programmes are very well received as they help to heal several marital relationships that were wobbling in the other room. It is commendable that a pastor perceives the needs of his congregants and initiates such programmed.
The large turn out of members at one such programme, particularly by the men, was proof that the organizers had done the needful. In fact, they put a finger on the right button. And the couples were thoroughly educated by sex therapists, psychologists from the perspective of the Bible. One of the female speakers told the women: “There is no limit to what should happen in your bedroom. Do not wait for your husband to initiate sex, take the bull by the horn and possess your personal possession; do not limit yourself, go on exploration as long as you like and want. Pastor Funke Felix-Adejumo had once admonished shy women to use signals, signs and codes to draw their husbands to the other room. She said: “Bite a piece of fish in your mouth, walk towards your man and feed him with the fish mouth-to-mouth. Again, sneak up and pinch him by the waist, or with a smile tell him, we will take a flight to Jerusalem tonight. These are various signs that can move your man.” Again, she said, “Not even sickness should limit you. It is your right. Stand up and be ahead of your game. Go home tonight and light a candle in your other room.”
With these eye-openers, the hall was seriously charged with both men and women laughing out loud, beaming with smiles and dancing happily. It was evident that the pastor’s step had healed his congregants physically, socially and mentally without knowing it.
In like manner, a close pal who was not at that church programme shared her experience. She said: “We had this heated argument about my husband’s younger sister who I felt was crossing her boundaries. I was fed up living with her and wanted her to leave our house. I took advantage of the other room to iron it out with my husband, but in the midst of that argument I sternly warned him about the consequences. But my husband was busy pressing my mumu-buttons intermittently, to my amazement. While still raging with anger, I did not realize his motives until I noticed that all of his exploration tools were clued-up and ready. I understand the tone of the game in the other room because I am his wife. I quickly had a mood swing and joined in the beautiful game. We had a jolly ride and it was a wonderful experience. Afterwards, I asked my husband what came over him, even in my anger?” He replied, “I have no limit, neither do I have control of whatever happens when I am in the other room.”
In the opinion of some male colleagues, romance is more interesting when it comes as a surprise and as a ‘hide-and-seek’ game. One said: “By the time a partner starts begging for it, the impulsiveness and flavour would have gone.” The strategy and experience for people is not the same and should not be measured in any way. What goes for Michael is different from what goes for Chinedu or Paul Okon because of personality differences. Body chemistry really differs. Some need romance, eye contact and closeness for action to take place.”
Now, it is not for nothing to hear men say things like, “I want my wife to be a prim and proper lady in the sitting room and a ‘prostitute’ in our bedroom.” This may sound a bit crazy, but that is what intoxicates and appeals to him privately. I have come across a man who says he is moved by heavy loaded women. “I like my woman to be a handful and do not need to search for her on my bed. Seeing her full-chested and heavy backside moves me.”
Have we also wondered why some newlyweds go into a long honeymoon, and decide to live alone with no relatives or domestic help. Some even delay pregnancy for a reasonable period of time. Most times, the reason is the pleasant activities that happen in the other room which have no limit and should not be interrupted. For such, it could happen in the kitchen, bathroom, sitting or living room.
Be it as it may, the other room is not all about oil exploration, but where other issues are settled. When the storms of life hit couples like a rock, the settlement place will be in the other room. The other room too, sees the settlement of bad feelings, quarrels, and arguments. The man and the woman should fully utilise the benefits of their bedroom. It is not a place to strangle, kill or maim your spouse. Rather, anything and everything worthy should take place in the other room. Most importantly, the other room is an agreement place to seek for spiritual cleansing, seek the face of God who has the solution to all life’s challenges.
Dear men and women, use the opportunity of the ‘Ember’ months to spice up your marriage in the other room. Always make the other room a memorable lifetime experience and bask in the euphoria.
