Much ado about something (2)

*… cont’d from last Monday*

To stretch the argument, is there much ado about in-office achievements recorded by people elected for the purpose? Specifically, should our president, governors, local government chairmen complete with national, state and local government lawmakers spend all they do and go to all lengths as we know them to just to prove that in four years they built a bridge in this or that desert, sent batches one, two, 10, 100, 1,000 to China for only-God-knows-what and fed more people than Jesus did during His time on earth? Is it not a moral offence and even political incorrectness the crude way political office holders elected by the people demean the same people in trying to show off their tenure gains? With whose money, though?

I cannot hold it beyond any minute now. I think politicians should disrespect their people less and less. Perhaps, that way, they can close the chasm that widens by the day and buy back some love. I mean, is it not nauseating to them and their families how they go about publishing even the tiniest detail of every little right foot they put forward?

How exactly did we elect most of these scoundrels, “Abasi mmi mbok”? (Akwa Ibom expression for “oh, God”). Father, forgive us for we knew not who they are. Look at the same people who went on both knees then to placate us to try them, now shame us steadily, every day, the way they tell the world how they feed us. Dear 2027, but why; why are you taking eternity to come?

What about humility: would much ado have a grouse about it too? That is, if the big or rich person chose to show off their badge of humility (such humble arrogance) would that be offensive to modesty? By the way, never forget that humility is a special word reserved for only the big, only the rich, only the strong. The poor are already permanently humbled by the circumstances of their reality!

Then, there is impact. Is there much ado about say a lawmaker who, looking to return to seek another mandate, brags endlessly about the huge number of his constituents he has sponsored to China or his one billion naira give-away or both, rather than about how well he has performed on the actual errand we sent him? Someone sent to make laws instead goes on a wild goose chase seeking personal glory troubling our sensibilities with batch this, batch that. Is the indirect intendment of such stratagem not for the people to descend on its progenitor’s colleagues but can the people themselves ever stop wondering about his source?

Nigerians joke too much, I swear. Representative Unyime Idem may not owe us a national explanation for his much ado about that billion naira bonanza since this is Nigeria where anything goes, yet we cannot stop hoping and praying that many years down the road his opponents would not dig up illegitimate sources and mess up all of his Nigeria wonder. This writer, during the Buhari presidency which was somewhat big on fighting corruption, wrote in this space that it would be the greatest tragedy and shame, post-Buhari, for even one official of the era to be tried for corruption. Today we live with the reality of Mr Godwin Emefiele and co; reason we now fast and pray that nobody tomorrow question Dr Idem’s N1 billion source let alone prove the proceeds had K-leg.

Secondly, the OrukAnam/Ukanafun federal constituency man is clearly outperforming everyone as he wants us to believe but there are some big buts. One, he should learn to allow his beneficiaries or his media boys blow his trumpet. Two, why not wait for what becomes of those he has sent to China or those he gifts the billion naira? Publicising these political stunts now and by himself coupled with the way he does them, seem offensive.

He should emulate his perennial political master and mentor, Senate President Godswill Akpabio, who either in person or through his wife, Unoma, quietly, repeatedly, blesses the people of Akwa Ibom northwest. Has anyone noticed that husband and wife take turns to tour that jurisdiction yet before, during and after, there is not a word of the fortune doled out whether in cash or as food items? This is how to show the people some respect. They are in dire need of it!

We can stretch that proof of a talismanic strategy if you want. Has anyone wondered how Senator Akpabio was able to bounce back in 2023 after the disastrous setback of 2019? He worked quietly and in secret with the electorate throughout the build-up; that is, during the intervening years of 2020, 2021, and 2022. When you show voters respectful generosity (that is, in private) they count that as public honour and reward you publicly with electoral victory.

And, when you dishonour or shame these election deciders publicly as we see all over the place, an undesirable public reaction awaits you. Plus, you see, the fire the two-term Member of Parliament is stoking can consume everybody, past and present. He seems, in addition, to be desperately, albeit indirectly, mobilising Nigerians to ask their House of Representatives members what is gwan? Should we now gather our representatives from 1999 to date, and ask them where they kept all this money or should we allow Representative Idem get away with this supererogatory much ado about his in-office achievements, generosity and impact?

This crossroads, at which we are stranded, is made worse by the inevitable concern about the source of personal extrabudgetary or extralegislative expenses which have become the norm. Surely there should be much ado about this one matter? What if these guys took out a loan or two? Or, since Nigeria and Nigerians do not care a hoot whether politics is played beyond reason, is ours a case of much ado about political paranoid?

Enter knowledge. Would there be much ado about Chinua Achebe if he came back from the dead to defend how he was the most knowledgeable human being who ever lived? Or, about his compatriot and colleague, Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka, who is still here with us, flaunting how an alarming majority of Nigerians do not understand an atom of his English language? Would there be much ado about those two scenarios or, put differently, would any of or both scenarios be acceptable to God and any sensible man?

Our much-ado-about-something voyage finally berths at power. For instance, can the world’s five in-country most powerful presidents as I see them (Russian, Nigerian, Chinese, Cameroonian and North Korean) get away on the global stage with blabbering on about their limitless powers? Of course, even United States citizens whose current president seems to crave this league would seriously shout them down. Hello, Mr Donald John Trump: the US must continue to enjoy and play its free world leadership (role) and stay there rather than ever contemplate abdicating to join the bad gang!

At this juncture, we need to connect the dots as we head home. Much ado about something. To be sure, this was not an attempt to change an English language fixed expression. The sole intention here was to find out if the fuss denied nothing could pass when that nothing is replaced by something.

Which is the reason we brought in courage, generosity, humility, knowledge, money and power -six unmistakable virtues which are clearly not nothing. Alas, the mental research threw up a finding that leaves you wondering why all the much ado about much ado. Up and down, here or there, much ado remains much ado whether about nothing or about something. Man cannot and should not make a noise about anything he achieves or possesses because to do so is offensive to nature which is the mother (or botanical) name for modesty.

In case our politicians don’t gerrit, they should not forgerrrit this once. They should stop annoying us with idle boasts of how they use our commonwealth to bless us in ways even God doesn’t. We are okay with their media team doing their work to earn their pay but they themselves should stop rubbing it in. They were elected to use our resources for us and on us, so except they are using their father’s money or theirs, they should save us all the noise.

In 2027, most of these men and women and children (read that again) shall be unelected (in fact deselected) because of this puerile mannerism. We are tired of being publicly ridiculed or scandalised by people who seek to prove they have touched our lives. Were they meant to touch our deaths, and if they have managed to touch our lives, won’t we know; won’t it show? Nigerian leaders and indeed all of us had better stop mouthing much ado about nothing or even about something: let the work do the talking, going forward.

God bless Nigeria!

… concluded