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To understand the caption, you need some background information. Last weekend, apart from Arsenal winning (to go top) and Liverpool losing to go second on the log of English premiership, inspiration for this entry came from two directions. First, on Friday, the Okon Akankpo family of Ikpe Ikot Nkon, Akwa Ibom State, had invited me to the inaugural meeting of the funeral central planning committee of the patriarch who recently transited at the age of 87. Second was just yesterday when I stumbled on a Facebook post left by one of my distant mentees, 39-year-old Mr. Ekikere Afahaide (aka Las’Born): “I see people abandon their integrity and standards”; wondering if such still exists in the system or even existed at its inception.
The central planning committee meeting held at the Ewet Housing Estate, Uyo, home of an Akankpo associate professor, Dr. Glory Edet. She was an umpteenth Honourable Commissioner who served either in Women Affairs and Social Welfare or Agriculture and once or twice in both simultaneously. This began from the Akpabio years all the way to Udom twilight. While waiting for the meeting to start, someone made the point about how our society or in fact the church no longer places a high premium on a good name.
I listened attentively, because the men and women in that room were eggheads and each added tremendous value every time while contributing. It was depressing, though, sitting there and listening to adults literally crying; decrying how a good name now means nothing to a people it used to mean everything. It is a crying shame how our society has retrogressed and continues to, by the day. The worst of it all is that things have so degenerated that even those regarded as the human last bastion of re-orientation and change have themselves since elected to join evil because they could not beat it!
Confidants are no more confidants: they now betray with abandon. Leaders are no more leaders: they now lead us into temptation. Pastors or rather priests are no more priests: they now preach rubbish. Teachers are no more teachers: they now teach us nonsense.
After everyone had had their say and were just about rounding off with that emotional empty orgasm concomitant with regrets you cannot cure, I messed up things the more. I calmly chipped in a rhetorical poser, “In this country, and especially in this state, a good name is to what end?” Then, I expatiated, asking to be reminded which one Nigerian or Akwaibomight had ever been elected to the highest office just because they had a good name. Nowadays, a good name is even a minus, an anathema.
We can and should continue that meeting here now. In doing so, we ought first to tidy up or unveil our caption in its full glory. Lord, don’t just take away this cup, don’t just let it pass over us, smash it. This is one prayer that every Nigerian, every Akwaibomight, must pray earnestly: in truth and in spirit.
The deceit is alarming. The hypocrisy is choking. The impunity is too much. The temerity is ungodly.
Good is evil, evil is now the new good. Virgins are evil while prostitutes (sssh, they now pay tax in Nigeria) are the newest children of God. I warned Nigerians to stop playing with fire, we won’t hear: now, we have been burnt beyond redemption. Dear Jesus, can you please come much quicker?
Because, as Mr. Afahaide lamented above, I cannot seem to understand either Nigeria or Nigerians anymore. Where is integrity? And, let me add, where is class, where is godliness, where is shame? Or has man finished his earthly journey and is merely now waiting for Christ to return and flip this horrendous page?
It is tiring how man (big man who should know better) approbates and reprobates so shamelessly. See how the same guys, elected to protect our constitution daily ridicules the sacred document so abominably. The legislature should urgently look at freeing our constitution from its paper tigritude. For crying out loud, apart from making it an African laughingstock globally, of what other use are the never-obeyed, never-implemented provisions which target our big boys and big girls of power.
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For instance, stealing is viewed differently in Nigeria. The Nigerian system does not care a hoot about the magnitude of what was stolen. It is more about who did it. Petty thieves who essentially engage in subsistence thieveries (hmm!) spend forever in jail while macro-robbers who divert public funds, meant to build, equip or run hospitals, schools and sundry places of fundamental public good, to hide abroad or to buy offshore homes, etc. walk about free as air.
In fact, in most cases, they are rewarded with the highest chieftaincy titles, or honorary doctorates, or national honours or big political appointments or elections, or all. Around this country, it is a taboo to have an opportunity to steal from government or from the people but not take it. Our society despises such people but celebrates those who take advantage. Nigeria and Nigerians have no good second, on this planet and indeed anywhere else.
Still on that, look also at the other form of corruption. Section seven of Code of Conduct Bureau & Tribunal Act lists public servants who must not have a foreign bank account or a profit-pursuing business. Don’t you dare poke fun at Code of Conduct Tribunal. They are not the problem of Nigeria, Nigerians are.
Furthermore, do not dare look at character. Per time, Nigeria and Nigerians believe that might is right over whatever other criterion. We rejoice over opportunism. We always elevate dishonesty, ingratitude and allied evils above and beyond reason and sanity.
I am not sure how it does us (as we say in Nigeria) but when we hold both the knife and the yam, we totally forget how yesterday was and how tomorrow might turn out. For example, how on earth does a woman who just a year to election knelt and sucked for political favour turn a full circle a year or two after taking office not only to renege but also, sadly, to want her benefactor jailed away? Most Nigerians smile this stratagem away as politics but with my hands on my head, methinks it is pure madness or witchcraft or both. And, you, woman, be warned: we are coming for you any moment now.
Meanwhile, help yourself now; help humanity, help us. In the name of God or in the name of all the things you believe in, remove that collar from your neck today. As a woman, humanity expected far too much more from you. Clearly, the way you have carried on, you have failed God, you have failed gender, you have failed mankind.
With F9 in courage, F9 in integrity, and F9 in gratitude: pray, what else is left? Oh, thou woman of god, check the footsteps you hear behind you. Stop deceiving yourself that you have support: the heavy footsteps you hear are people running away from, instead of to you. Time is running out, woman; time is running out.
Hurry to stop this cup from being smashed. Hurry to hold down what you can. Tomorrow brings only regrets and sadness and shame. Going, going, going … .
God bless Nigeria!
