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Yes, there are men who behave like the dog that goes to lie down, and sleep, on the fodder in the manger.
The dog knows it does not eat the grass, which is meant for the sheep and cows in the farm to
feast on. But the canine animal turns the fodder into its mattress and promptly begins to snooze. This leaves the animals that really need the grass, and are eager to eat, frustrated because the dog which
is sleeping on the fodder prevents them from feeding. So, what do they do? They walk away to search for other available fodder. Mean-while, the manger continues to hold fodder no animal is eating. As the days pass, the fodder deteriorates in nutritional value.
In the past it was relatively easier for the female folk to marry. Those were the days when polygamy was the norm, “when men were men and women were worn by men who deserved them.” Those were able men who were ready to take on the responsibilities that flow from being a husband and head of household. Those were men who rightly appropriated for themselves all the benefits of ‘husbandship’
in terms of getting good delicious meals cooked by their wives and other forms of attention, including elegant soccer match sessions on the special pitch.
When monogamy began to gain popularity, and as national populations grew, it emerged that the female gender became even more disadvantaged in that more females than males were being born. That picture does not look like it is likely to change now or in the future. After all, the Bible says that a time will come when seven women will cling to a man and even offer to be personally responsible for their own upkeep, just so they can bear the man’s name.
From every indication, it appears the world is fast reaching that era, and sadly so. This development has created a growing community of men who cleverly, indeed shamefully, exploit the emerging picture to leech on single ladies they lure into a relationship with fake promises of marriage.
Such pretentious men never really make the focused effort that would see them faithfully work to make the promised marital union materialise, to the joy and happiness of the ladies involved.
While the relation lasts, the men spare no efforts to ensure that they fully suck and enjoy the sweet juice of the ripe orange and eat the delicious meals the lady often prepares with her money.
Caught in the web of deception which these men (without balls to do the needful) weave around them, many of the ladies have often ended up heartbroken and in tears. But now there is hope.
Was it not Eneke, the bird, which posited a timeless piece of African wisdom in Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart. The proverbial Eneke said that since men had learnt to shoot without missing, it had also learnt to fly without perching. Again, students learn in Ordinary Level Physics that Newton’s Third Law states that “actions and reactions are equal and opposite.”
So today, ladies, particularly those whose child-bearing clock has crossed the half-past mark, should wise up and raise their game. You should not be carried away and believe the sweet nonsense he tells you except you see genuine reasons to regard what he says. If you notice that he is unserious, without any qualms, you should initiate a strategic remedial measure. Begin to present him with bills to settle, as a sure way to drive him away. He must begin to feel the pinch of the cost of the relationship he has with you. It must not be cheap. After a while, he will realise that the beat of the music has changed and that will prompt him to take a fast walk out of your life. You are better off single and happy than giving a useless male leech gastronomic pleasure (food), exclusive relaxation in your sitting room and excellent soccer match for no ring on your marital finger, year in, year out. Pray, who does that nowadays! Gosh!
No lady should allow a freeloader man in her life, in this nano-world. Such freeloader man simply has no intention to commit to a marital relationship that will make you an honourable woman. Meanwhile, like the dog in the manger, he is blocking the way for an eligible man eager and ready to sweep you off your feet and carry you all the way to the altar and then to his own home, where you become the queen of his heart and home. Such dog-in-the-manger men are the kind Apostle Paul describes as “unprofitable men” and time wasters. They just want to suck the sweet juice of the ripe orange, throw away the remaining fibrous stuff and then go hunting for another gullible lady that may be deceived and the cycle of ‘exploit and discard’ continues, just like the song, The Beat Goes On, popularised by the African American music group, Whispers, in the eighties. So ladies, if you find yourself in a relationship with an NFA (no future ambition) man-leech, please grab your knife and scrape him off your skin, by making him pay heavy bills. Not only once or twice. As he is paying off one bill, prepare another and wait for him. Don’t pity any unserious man, stand firm and bill him as a precondition to sustain the relation- ship with you. And if he can’t, show him the door to let himself out. Once he does that, take a warm bath, drink a cold tumbler of Maltina and Peak milk, watch your favourite movie and just sleep. You will wake up fully rested, refreshed and ready to face a new day with your head held high, your peace intact and your mind clear about what you want and deserve from a man.
Again, one very painful thing that has been observed over time is that some women would be identified with a particular man in a relationship for some years. Their closeness would give off the signal to friends, family and col- leagues that they would end up in marriage. Then suddenly you hear that the man just got married to another person, catching the perennial fiancee unawares and heartbroken.
So, my dear lady of the iPhone era, once you are convinced that you are involved with a dog-in-the-manger man, initiate a well-laid game plan to bill the living daylights out of him. Send him SMS stating about two or three items you need at home that will cost him about N40,000 to 50,000.00 at a go. Tell him to pick them on his way to your place to eat free food and make ‘calls’ on your ‘phone.’ But if he gets cunning and decides to visit without giving you prior notice, just to avoid you asking him to buy items on the way in, there
is no problem. When he gets to your place, jokingly lead him to a luxury shop where he will spend good money. If he pays the bills, then he is worthy; if not he will leave the space for a serious man.
Really, lazy men could be a pain in the neck. They would quietly work on the mindset of a lady and milk her dry before setting out to destroy another one. Men who are fond of looking for favours, asking ladies for money are clearly showing that they are unserious. Female bankers suffer this a lot. You find that men would prevail on them to take bank loans to support them in their business initiatives which would never materialize. If the lady did not yield to the request, the relationship would not be stable. Such men think they are doing the lady a big favour by sleeping with her and giving her hopes of marriage. Ladies, please get wise, send such men serious bills that would scare them off. These characters are every-where looking for where to pitch their tent and devour the next gullible lady. Some even move into a woman’s home, serially cheat on her, using her money to maintain sidechicks and then defraud her. Ladies, bill such men continuously without looking back.
Fellow women, the time has come for us to sit up. Do not spend your hard-earned savings, happiness and life with a man who is not serious. Most of the time, we see all these things coming but choose to pretend until it is too late. Therefore, use a good and effective weapon called bill to cut such men out of your life. There must always be something to own, so bill him fast.
