Courage in humility

Courage in humility is akin to correcting in love or quarrelling like friends. It is almost like a perfunctory task that must be done. You have to step out, and step up. It is one call not many would answer.

It reminds one housewife in my village, Ekpene Ukim, in Uruan local government area of Akwa Ibom state. She had taken her husband of three decades to the village council court over what others call irreconcilable differences. Her husband, a very brilliant illiterate 65-year-old palm wine tapper, addressing the court spoke more about his interest in waiting for the mother of all of his 11 children to speak because he needed to understand whether, at the end of the case, she wanted to return to her husband’s home or her father’s. The woman, decoding what had not been spoken, displayed courage in humility: she is still married!

No doubt, courage and humility are parallels. One is oil, the other is water. Both should ordinarily never mix. But, sometimes, people blessed with both unique qualities do not just mix or mingle; they marry, they jell.

Courage is the ability to see danger but refuse to be timid, in pursuit of personal goals or popular causes. Courage is not selfish but it is also not necessarily selfful. It can be selfless, though. Humility, on the other hand, is everything that courage is not; well, apart from selfless and the fact that it takes a certain height in courage to be humble.

Unlike courage, humility never announces itself. It never boasts, never goes physical, never rants, never wants to prove anything. Above all, humility never raises its beautiful head. I know, now you readily remember that long monster which never stops raising its ugly head, right?

Alas, that long monster, after it had risen and worked all the way to the end, throws up, with its head momentarily bowed. At that material time, its standing (you catch the joke) reminds you of how humble even arrogance and stubbornness can be when exhausted. This though is not the type of humility this writer wants from courage. In fact, this particular humility is not humility; it is “humbility!”

The interplay or marriage of courage and humility is a beauty to behold. It is courage as hardly seen. It is courage that is compassionate, and graceful. It is courage that is patient, and understanding.

Courage in humility is courage that listens to sense when it thinks it should not. It is courage that reduces fire once advice or appeal arrives. One of the global men I used to like, President Vladimir Putin of Russia, is a courageous man but his is courage in arrogance. He listens to nobody; not even God.

Can we say the same of Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu? Hamas attacked Israel first and the latter launched what I thought was a sledge hammer fight back. Glad that reason or sanity has finally prevailed -many thanks, President Donald Trump of the United States of America. The scenario and experience are different with Russia and Ukraine: Russia, the provoker and attacker who is now playing victim, continues its killing spree, in spite of global outrage!

You, please never emulate a man like that. Ladies, never marry a man who has nobody he fears or listens to. Men, flee from any lady who brags that she is woman alone. People of God, if your leader and your priest say they fear or listen to only God, beware!

The truth is that, in this sphere there must at every point and rung of our life be at least one person to whom we bow, no matter how angry, no matter how bitter, no matter how done, no matter how far gone, no matter how pissed, no matter how reckless and no matter how total we think we are. Everybody needs that one somebody. That one somebody could be family; a spouse, or even a sidekick. They could be an acquaintance, a friend, a foe; somebody close or distant; older or younger; richer or poorer.

That one somebody can be the village clown, a drunk. They can be somebody people generally despise; eg, own child or somebody mentally or physically challenged or visually impaired. The person of courage who listens only to somebody beautiful, somebody of their faith, somebody rich, somebody older or somebody considered totally complete is not humble. Such a one is not a worker of courage in humility.

Last week, after this column had gone public, a phone call came in that immediately rang alarm bells in my subconscious. Even before picking it, I told my wife, Abasiodiong, that I could second-guess what it is about. Chairman and Chief Exec. of Redemption 101.5 FM, Abak-Nigeria, Bishop (Prof.) Ahaziah Umanah, who turns 85 next January 12, is a man deeply and all-round blessed. Being an author and broadcaster and columnist himself, who reads voraciously, I knew instantly he had read me and … .

“Hello, Michael. We need to meet. Any day at your earliest convenience; Abak preferably, please. See you then.”

As these things go, I could not honour the appointment the day I had suggested and he had accepted. The very next day, pilot, madam and I set out for Abak en route Ikot Ekpene where I was to meet University of Abuja don, Prof. Philip Akpen, who was in the state on a professional assignment. Somehow, my phone call to Prof. Akpen who was to fly back to Abuja that day changed the arrangement. I now had to make Abak first and in two hours be at Victor Attah International Airport to catch up with the professor of history just before boarding. Approaching Abak, I called up the Bishop Prof. to inform him that Madam and I would be at his country home in minutes.

I told you (remember?) that I knew what the matter was. It was what it was. “I read you on Monday, Michael. That is not you, but what is the reason?”

Just as I made to field the poser, he started and continued his speech. He backgrounded his interest in the matter and I found him, as usual, honest and fatherly. So, I shared my own story which essentially tallied with the background information he had provided. Notwithstanding, at the end, with his trademark charisma and clarity of thought and depth and eloquence and presence, he wanted me to take a different turn.

We went on to discuss other things. And, when we made to leave, he gave madam and me a bag of gifts. Without any political power or political money, men like Bishop (Prof.) Umanah, are living the life that nobody believes is possible in Akwa Ibom state. By the way, something he said that I think you must hear: “I have never had money, Michael, but I have never lacked it.”

Heading to the airport, my mind feasted all the time and all the way on that visit. No matter how angry or how right or how unbothered you think you are, a particular somebody’s advice for you to water down your courage is not something to toy with. No, I am not going to quit that motorway of courage that I always ply. I am never going to be friends with an oppressor who disguises as a lamb, neither am I going to swear that I would not when it really matters say or do a thing or two against.

On the return leg of the airport trip, another great Annang man (we have been friends for decades) Mr Ediongsenyene Inyang, left me a terse WhatsApp chat. The grail message adherent, to put it directly, simply preached Jesus Christ to me. He told me he had just left off reading my last entry. So, yes, it was about the very same matter that Bishop (Prof.) Umanah had invited me on.

Since then, I have ruminated long and hard on the developing issue. It is true that deceit and injustice and maltreatment should be resisted and fought back with everything at one’s disposal but courage in humility remains unnegotiable. We should be courageous but we should be humble about it, after all the race of harvest is not to the swift. Nor is the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to men of understanding, nor favour to men of skill; but you see time and chance?: they happen to them all.

Finally, while trusting that this means and brings added value to you this week and going forward, please allow a few rewinds. Try courage in humility especially when really angry, and at the point of no return and when sure going for broke is now or never. Courage in humility is a win-win talisman. With it, you win both the war and the battle.

God bless Nigeria!