Follow Us on Google
By Ola Ola
Happy New Year!
This is a popular greeting around the world. Practically everyone across the globe celebrates or at least acknowledges the first day of a new year, whether they consider it to be the first day of January, or another day (and/or month). There are fireworks, there is music and dancing, there is food – it’s all about being together, sharing love, and showing gratitude for being able to witness the start of another year.
The first day of the year has also come to signify a period that prompts people to try to begin their lives afresh, turn a new leaf, give something a second chance, set new goals… it is a period that generally ushers in new hope.
Nigerians are not left behind as per New Year celebrations. We greet, “happy new year”, “season’s greetings”, or “compliments”. But we also celebrate other days in the year with other greetings such as:
Happy new month!
Happy new week!
Happy weekend!
Happy night’s rest!
One is left wondering when we will begin ‘Happy morning’ or ‘Happy new day’ greetings. I believe we are on the cusp!
Financial handouts
Some of these seemingly innocent greetings have morphed into being gentle nudges for financial handouts.
The first time someone said “happy new month” to me many years ago, I was perplexed, even moved to laughter. Initially, it seemed to me it was used in Christian circles alone. Actually, it was quite secular and would also be wished via text, backed by full-length goodwill messages awash with various images.
Over time, as with some things that are left in the hands of humans, the motive behind its use degenerated. In this day and age, most people who wish you a happy new month are really saying, “remember me this month”. Those who wish you a happy new week are really asking “what do you have left over for me from the weekend?” and the ones who come at you with “happy weekend” – well, they are the most notorious ones. They are the Friday protocol geng. They want cold hard cash, sharply, and they shamelessly put you on the spot to decide if you’re going to be of strong enough mind to withhold, or pressured to display big-man-ness and put out.
And for those of us who can’t stand self-lobbying, we are overwhelmed by sheer annoyance. Why should simple pleasantries come at a cost? I do declare that almost nothing is free in this place! And virtually everywhere you turn, there’s someone who feels entitled to something of yours… however plentiful or little, however big or small.
Unsolicited help
Have you had the experience of going to withdraw money from an ATM and suddenly the bank’s security staff comes to open your car door before you’re even ready to get out? And so, you suddenly have to hurry or stop what you’re doing in your car to respond to the gesture and get out of the car promptly?
Then he begins to give you unsolicited information about which ATM is working, saying “don’t use this one because it dispenses only N500 notes; use that other one that dispenses N1000 notes”. He hovers over you to the point at which you start to feel slightly compromised while you observe from side-eye the signage that says “Cover Your Secret Pin”.
He sometimes even will attempt to show you how to use the ATM, and you are left wondering what is it that makes you look that deeply ignorant. And then when you’ve received your cash, you discover he is already waiting by your car door. He salutes you endlessly, and proceeds to open the car door for you even if you have a driver that could have done the needful. If by then some money has not dropped, he proceeds to direct you/your driver on how to reverse your own car from a practically empty lot with so much ginger… guy!
At this point, he is still hoping you’ll roll down your window and give him something for his effort that was never needed in the first place.
Why should a security officer feel entitled to any portion of money you withdraw from your bank account? He is literally placed there to make you feel safe and comfortable while you carry out transactions. Rather, he is gunning for his share of your withdrawal.
Special privileges
Over time, I have noticed several insidious developments at local supermarkets: you are no longer free to shop independently, nor carry your own shopping bags, and, there is (or not) special parking for you depending on the type of car you drive to a store. Today, the enforcers of these a.k.a some supermarket staff, have also responded to them by strategically offering well-known “services” on their own accord, and they are not complimentary.
For the indoor staff, one of them will usually accost you while you’re trying to select something, gain control of your cart, and then take over the selection process. In actual fact, the most experienced of these supermarket staff profile you as you approach the aisles before you begin shopping, pouncing on perceived ‘big ballers’ and ultimately usurping any privacy you might have desired.
If they miss you amongst the aisles, they rush over to you at the register when you are trying to make payment – in droves.
It really can be a full-on aggressive rush done to ward off other competing staff, and it doesn’t matter if it’s just one or two shopping bags you end up with and that you really, obviously, don’t need help. It’s all for personal profit, and for the customer, it’s giving organised syndicate.
As for the special parking privileges, depending on the “heaviness” of your car, the outside staff block choice spaces closer to the store entry with buckets and cones.
As your car drives up, they decide if to direct you to those choice spaces following a quick surmising of the make and model of the approaching vehicle. If a customer drives up to such coveted spaces in the wrong car, the security staff do not move the cones… it is an unspoken privilege for those ‘big ballers’, and the rest of us need to drive along to the nose-bleed section.
Money is king
Nigerians generally are comfortable with the idea of looking up to others to solve their problems. It comes easy to us, and it’s why we are so good at doing religion. Authentic or not, we love the act of worship. There is one thing we arguably worship more than our various gods, and having read the preceding paragraphs, it is an easy guess as to what that is – money! Not sure you agree? Consider the following everyday Naija expressions: If you no get money, hide your face; Na that one I go chop? Wetin you chop remain? Omo, when I blow, everywhere go scatter! ‘Premium or nothing’, Owo n’soro (Money is talking); on and on they go.
Money is, indeed, king; and that should be unsettling to us! Without a doubt, Nigeria is a difficult place to survive, and there are many who live in poverty. So, the giving of money can frequently be a worthy cause… appropriate, even expected.
But the complicit persons (obviously, for the most part, not nearly every staff is) described at these supermarkets and bank ATMs, and those other individuals who tender price-tagged greetings, are not the poorest of the poor. They are many times younger people, brawny and bright-eyed, who have jobs at visible establishments. Positioning for handouts consistently cannot be the way forward. The exchange of money for little or no value can cheapen relationships and lower regard. If one job or source of income is not enough, work on getting another.
With the advent of the Internet and social media, many more possibilities are available. In any event we should be dogged not only in the getting, but also in the keeping and growing of money. We should think of other financial measures, such as saving however little possible, and gradually getting out of debt when an influx of money occurs instead of, for example, buying that brand new lace or smart phone, or sprinting to the nearest betting kiosk. Spending wisely can go a long way. Simplistic, but effective.
On the flipside
On the flipside, the mention of those who use money to achieve their selfish ends must also be made. They laud their financial positions and therefore perceived importance over people and pressure them into doing their bidding, which is usually to cut one corner or the other. This behavior is just as bad, and it enforces the idea that everything and everyone has a price. We should be willing to wait our turn, or follow due process, without always trying to buy our way out. Yes, everyone’s time may not cost the same, but everyone’s time is important.
Service without agenda
There is no argument. Money is nice to have, but not at any expense. Courtesy should be normalized at every income level and must be devoid of any manipulation.
We should all be willing to help someone back out of a parking space without expecting money or anything else in return. Lending a helping hand should be commonplace. We should all be prepared to do our day jobs without communicating to a service recipient that we feel inconvenienced, and insinuating that it will cost them something.
Providing service, especially one that you are being paid to render, without an agenda, is the goal. As an added bonus, you never know who will take notice of a job well done and reward you without your asking anyway.
Think I’m speaking like a person who already eats three square meals? I get it, but actually, I’m not up to a generation removed from relatives who didn’t get their first pair of shoes till they were six or seven (wink) years old… likely still some in waiting.
My parents’ generation lived in a purer time. In those days, people respected their life stations without continually shining their eyes, perpetually hustling and grinding, or trying to be sharp all day long. And it wasn’t at all that they lacked motivation or the desire for upward mobility. Mostly, people were people back then. And it doesn’t matter what changes have taken place over time; people should remain people because that is our only hope. Vive la résistance!
Hope for new Nigeria
If we would disentangle ourselves from the deep enticements of money, we should all be the better for it. Our souls wouldn’t be so easily purchased. “I no fit carry last” get-aheadism would dim. The various institutions of our nation would work better because dignity, a higher power, would be at work.
I digress…
We have just begun a new year, and I am hoping against hope for a positively changing Nigeria and better outcomes for us all… but the required work is largely within. I also know the external struggle, and it is real, no doubt. However, taking on the challenge to resist the prevailing status quo is absolutely worth it. The human heart has enormous potential for all manner of wonder.
Happy new article!
