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Bonding between parents and their children is an accepted part of parenting. However, such bonding should not give reasons for concern, especially if it tends to incline towards what is considered inappropriate or can be condemned outright. Hence, parents must be mindful of how they conduct themselves before their children, at home.
In this age and time, schools have been teaching young children about the parts of the body, making them understand how they should not be touched by certain people, whether at home, in the school or anywhere else. The children listen with rapt attention, take in the instructions and sing the songs formed from the narratives.
Back at home, the young children are also taught about their private parts and why no one should touch them. After doing this, it is unfortunate that some parents will turnaround to display their adult private areas before their young children thinking it is okay. To the parents, this might look harmless, but there is more to it than meets the eyes. What then is the essence of being a parent-moralist when your nakedness is displayed before your own children?
Some careless fathers are particularly guilty of this unwholesome practice. They walk around the house, before the children, wearing only their boxers. It may look inoffensive to you, but for the children, you are showcasing an image of ‘how the thing looks like.’
Take the case of Mr Peter, (real name concealed), who was fond of dangling his third leg before his five-year-old daughter, Daniella, (not real name) thinking it did not matter in the household. Then on a certain day, husband and wife were in their bedroom on the bed. Peter was fully naked when Daniella walked into her parents’ room. Mummy quickly drew the duvet and covered herself. The little girl got attracted to Daddy’s naked long rod, touched and played with it, and innocently asked her mother, what is the name of this? Mother told her, it is called a stick. They thought it had ended.
Weeks later, as her mother was returning from the market, the little girl ran to meet her and innocently announced: “Mummy, Aunt Lizzy was eating my Daddy’s stick.” Aunt Lizzy happened to be the domestic help. Mother’s demeanor changed immediately and hell was let lose.
Now, those mothers who sit carelessly before their children, both boys and girls, are not getting it right. It is very wrong for a mother to be half naked before her children, especially her sons. Again, wearing only bra, dress half-naked with the notion that they are your children might not make them lust after you, but it stirs up curiosity and induces to explore outside, in a very wrong way. They might want to know what it feels like to touch, peep and to know how it feels. There is time for everything. Please mothers, stop dressing before your children. This is not only applicable to the sons, even to your daughters. Your children are not your husband, no matter how you try to love and bond with them. Only your husband should see your nakedness, not your children.
In the same manner, in trying to explain the strong bond she shared with her mother while laying a family complaint, Martha told of how she bathed with her mother as a young girl, and did the unexpected. She said, “While growing up, my mother thought she was bonding with me until the day I pulled a black curly hair from her private area while both of us were naked and bathing. That was the end of mother-daughter bathing relationship.
Agreed, parents want to feel free and relaxed at home after the days hustling, but they should remember, it is not just a house, but a family home. Whatever parents do, let this piece remind them that their children who live with them are watching, learning and copying from them, among other things. The role of parents is to be intentional in instilling great values, which will be the compass the children will use when they are away from their parent’s supervision. The more intentional parents are today, the more equipped the children will be. No parent walks the path of his children. Instead children could be given the right tools to walk wisely.
Therefore, the habit of undressing before your children is not different from alcoholic addiction. The practice of being half-naked is not just very wrong, but ungodly but dangerous. Parents are called to build virtue, discipline, modesty and holiness into their family. If children are not properly groomed and guided from the home, their future might be crippled through what the parents do.
The phone of a student was seized for violating school rules. His mother furiously came to the school to demand for the immediate release of her son’s phone. Initially, the teachers were hesitant but later called her aside to tell her why they ceased the phone. What the boy had on that device was beyond comprehension. They told her: “Ma your son was watching an explicit video that featured you and your husband’s intimacy. Your son was bragging before his classmates, and saying, ‘do you know your mother’s ringtone? Come and listen to my mum’s own.” For a moment, the woman’s face drained of colour. This is to tell parents that technology has given us access to the good things of this world, but at the same time has opened a floodgate of corruption into the hearts of children. Phones which were meant for learning and creativity have become portals of perversion. One should ask: how did the boy install a camera in his parent’s room without their knowledge? Again, what should be the emotional and psychological trauma of the parents knowing their own child filmed them while making love in their bed room? Who drove him to do that and how long had he been doing it? This is a typical example of children drowning in a sea of moral confusion aided by parents, unknowingly.
The home should be a training ground for purity, self-control and respect. Do not expose your children to unnecessary temptations. It is better to train them in godliness because that will make them to shine wherever life takes them to.
Shock trails the story of husbands who hide secret cameras in their bedroom and record their intimate time with their wives. They sell it to pornography sites just to make money. A guest on a media personality’s show narrated the story thus: “A wife discovered that her husband and his friends have a WhatsApp group where they actually plant cameras in their bedrooms without the knowledge of their wives. So, when they sleep with their wives, they record, edit and share in that WhatsApp group. All would watch and tell the sender the spots he did not fire well. After the final editing, they will send it to a pornographic website and get paid for it. How did this wife discover? Their eight years old son was fiddling with daddy’s phone and next, like lightening, his hand slid into that page. What he saw arrested his attention and the mother heard some funny sound and snatched the phone from him. Mummy was angry that her husband had such irresponsible videos on his phone not knowing that a bigger shock lay ahead.
She looked through that page and saw herself with her husband banging and enjoying themselves. In that shiver, her heart sank into her stomach, but she continued and saw over 43 such edited videos. Then, she followed the links to the sites and discovered that of the 43 videos sent to pornographic sites, four had fiancées, two had girlfriends while the others were all well-established married men. Meanwhile, these women did not know that the intimate moments with their husbands were on pornographic sites while their men were making good money from such God-forbidden, despicable transaction.But I tell such men: if you are reading this page, know that a small portion of hell is waiting for you. Can you imagine where an irresponsible husband becomes a sexual content creator? Enjoying money from a porn hub, where your naked videos are.
This is a big offence to God. Such a man would have brought curses and offence to his woman. The womb where his children came from will never forgive him. Such evil men offend both the dignity and institution of their marriages. The sanctity of such homes were thus put to ridicule forever because the social media does not forgive or forget. What amount of apology would pacify the woman and her family? The fountain that him alone should drink from had been defiled in the name of making money.
Dear parents, let us nip this in the bud. Do not allow yourself to be pushed into the worst scenarios due to unnecessary pressure from society and social media. Evil is evil no matter how it is painted. And for parents who parade naked in their homes, know that many young children make choices from the home that have long term consequences. Once they leave home, you cannot physically stop them from making wrong decisions. This is the reason home pornography should stop. No parent would be there to see the warning signs or intervene immediately in the days of wrong decisions. But the teachings, guidance and morals will see them through.
