Men, walk away from toxic women

Instead of a man in a relationship, experiencing chronic emotional exhaustion, drop in self-esteem and constant anxiety, he should simply take a walk. If the woman is no longer satisfactory in character, emotion and otherwise, instead of killing her out of anger, please cut ties with her for your own good and that of the children. Do not stay in a toxic relationship to retaliate. Such a decision will help avoid tragic actions later. Not too many men can tolerate the toxic nature of some of today’s women.

A toxic woman’s behaviour leads to a breakdown in communication. It is a cycle of manipulation or control, and eventual damage to mental health of both individuals.  The moment she drops tears, she wins the sympathy of many. It is not about being a man to chest all rubbish; it is about leaving to live. This is because only a living man can tell his side of the story. A toxic woman refuses to admit her mistakes, shifts blame or plays the victim in every disagreement. Such women distort the truth and use emotional weapons to keep her partner off balance and dependent.

Recent developments have shown that as some women grow in civilization, so also are they growing in anger, bitterness and mischief. All these lead to the gradual death of a man if not sudden death. Some toxic women even go as far as killing the man outright, especially when they perceive alleged infidelity. Men, if you sense your woman’s toxicity, please take a bold walk. 

When a toxic woman begins to deal with a man, she forgets that the man is someone’s son, brother, cousin and extended relative. They also forget that he is someone’s friend, classmate, club member and neighbor, etc. Some toxic and domineering women would want a man to be for her alone – the typical manifestation of the ‘me, myself, and I’ syndrome.

Again, when one sits to listen to outspoken marriage counselors like Evangelist Chukwuebuka Anozie Obi’s Zion Court, Justice Funmi Asaolu and others who bring husbands and wives to their courts for reconciliation and settlement, one will know that not all men are bad. Some of those frictions are as a result of poverty and lack. With such discovery, Evangelist Ebuka Obi has shown great empathy to most families ranging from relocations, renting new apartments, paying schools and starting up new businesses to cushion poverty in homes. Despite these, if a woman becomes ungovernable, you as her husband can take a bold walk because some women are practically evil in nature.

It is little wonder that a notable female preacher, Pastor Funke Adejumo, made this fundamental statement: “God who created a woman and gave her hair, she chose to cover the hair with a wig, replace her eyebrow with micro-blading, and replace the nails with attachments. Who can please a woman?” Men, mind you that no lazy man makes a happy home, no matter how handsome and sexy. You must do your best, be a loving, caring husband and father who provides.   

Agreed, there are some women who are treated like princesses, yet they prefer to swim in murky waters of wickedness. If not for waywardness, why do some women sleep with their domestic staff, husbands’ apprentices and junior colleagues? If it is not to ridicule their husbands, what is the reason then? Even if these apprentices are younger and smarter, why not walk away from the man’s house instead of rubbing your prostitution in his face?

News broke on social media recently that a certain woman, Mrs. Ojukwu (not real name) allegedly seduced her husband’s head apprentice, Ebuka (not real name) and converted him into her husband. Chief Ojukwu (not real name) happened to be a major importer of goods. With an army of loyal apprentices and a trusted young wife, he used to spend upto three months on business trips outside the country. During one of his trips, Madam asked Ebuka to boil water for her to bathe. When the water was ready, madam told him to bring it to the bathroom. As he dropped the kettle to return to his room, Madam stood stark naked behind him. The boy’s eyes caught a glimpse of the succulent apple, and tried to dodge Oga’s ‘chop’ but the evil woman refused to allow him to leave.  Just like that Ebuka ate the forbidden fruit and that was how it all started until madam became pregnant with her first son. Oga returned from that trip and became the happiest man on earth and gave his woman a royal treatment. At the birth of the son, celebration never ceased as both continued in their illicit relationship that produced two more children.

Ebuka cornered the wife of his master because the woman aided him. Then it was time for the settlement of Ebuka after eight years of loyal apprenticeship. His boss became a bit cunning. Settling him meant renting a shop filled with goods or parting with a huge sum of money. Chief’s delay gave rise to Ebuka’s unprintable arrogance and lack of respect for his master. Big quarrel ensued between them and Ebuka threatened to leave with his wife and children. Hell was let loose; the evil woman accused the devil for what transpired.

This situation has become very rampant. So many men have experienced this. It is only a few that can come out of such a situation as complete men.

Therefore, instead of fighting and looking for who you will kill, please take a chill pill and walk away. There are uncountable women who are raising other men’s children in their matrimonial homes. So many are involved with infidelity. What, therefore, should a man do when he discovers?

Now, those men who claim they are wired differently and excel in infidelity, if you cannot cover your tracks, then respect yourself. I am not an advocate of infidelity, but men have the tendency of marrying and keeping two wives.

Recently, a Kano High Court sentenced 19-year-old Saudat Jibrin to death by hanging for the murder of 30-year-old Salisu Idris, her husband, just nine days after their wedding. How would one describe this? A case the court called culpable homicide which she committed on May 5, 2025 at Farawa Quarters in Kano. He laced her husband’s drink, then slashed his throat with a knife.

Should men live with women that shave their hair at their back? Toxic women weaponize past mistakes and old arguments during current disagreements instead of finding resolution.  Men, when your woman becomes toxic, walk away.

In the same vein, how will a man live with a woman who clones his old phone to hers just to monitor his life which includes movements, financial transactions and business meetings? Peace and Daniel started dating as ushers in a church. When the phone developed a problem, Daniel rescued her by giving her his old phone which Peace cloned and linked it up with her own phone. Such high powered iPhones could show the man’s daily activities. Not once or twice had she fought him in public based on information from the cloned phone. Men, walk away from toxic women.

Two popular gospel artistes have politely taken a walk from their marriages. One lasted 28 years and the other was 12 years. The moment the centre could no longer hold, the men took their leave and peace reigned. Probably, they are mature in both age and union.

Interestingly, infidelity is not the only toxicity in relationships. There are women who are living demons. They do not have any work other than to create problems for themselves and people around them. Women who hold unto one issue all the days of their marital lives.  Some use denial strategy: sex, access to the children and food.

I once heard about a would-be wife whose fiancé came back and requested food. She retorted: “I thought you would have eaten outside?” Do not let emotional blackmail blindfold you.  The moment your woman becomes toxic, take your leave. It is better to leave and live.