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Most parents worry about their kids. It’s part of their job description. When their babies are new and helpless, they worry about keeping them alive.
When they start to do things by themselves, they worry about them falling down the staircase or hitting their heads against sharp edges. When they start school, they worry about the bullying and how smart they are. No matter how old they are, these worries never fade away.
In some cases however, the worrying can get out of control and anxiety sets in. Anxiety is over-expression of healthy traits like fear, care, planning ahead and avoiding risk.
As a father, pretending you are not anxious or refusal to acknowledge those feelings in the first place can be hugely counterproductive . People tend to feel more stressed and anxious when they feel something is wrong with being stressed up and anxious.
Help reduce anxiety by setting reasonable expectations for you and your children. Avoid the word ‘should’. If you are saying ‘I should’ or ‘my kids should,’ you are applying expectations. The more expectations you have, the more unhappy you are likely to become.
It is not every situation that needs immediate response. Pause and consider how you want to handle what worries you. If you notice you are worked up, do something to help soothe your nerves— take a walk, read a book, or watch your favourite show. Taking this type of break can help you make a clear decision about how you want to respond to any type of stressful or anxiety-provoking situation.
Social media can feed anxiety by making parents feel that their children aren’t living up to others’ standards. It’s hard not to compare when our social media feeds are a steady stream of proud parent posts and photographs. Spend less time on social media and more time with your children.
Parents are becoming more anxious because they gain instant access to every bit of news across various platforms. There is just too much information, most of which is bad, scary news that is seeping into the very susceptible minds of adults and children, causing constant unease. Turn off the television.
Remember that kids learn from experience. While it is a father’s job to keep their children safe, it is not useful to the child to eliminate all pain or mistakes. The best way for children to develop a sense of responsibility and ability to care for themselves is to let them learn from natural consequences rather than artificial parent consequences or avoidance.
As a father, stop punishing yourself for making mistakes. It’s tough to ditch the parental guilt, but doing so will help you become less anxious. If you don’t take actions to deliberately hurt or harm your children, then you do not need to feel guilty. If your well-meaning actions have an unintended effect of pain on your children, learn from it and move on.
