Being a Dad : Dealing with bad influences on your child

Does your little boy’s best friend come out with a retort every time his mom says no? Are your daughter’s friends expanding their vocabularies to include swear and obscene words?

Peer influence is remarkably powerful all through life, but it’s more impactful in childhood, when values are yet to take root. As a father, you have the responsibility to guide your children through life and also mould their character so that they can stand on their own, take decisions that would improve their lives and are not easily influenced by their mates.

The moment you hear your kid use foul language or notice a rebellious attitude creeping in, subtly indicate that you know where he might have picked it up. Then express your disapproval and set a limit.

Children have always been fascinated by sex. But if your child’s friend is sprouting facts about sexuality before you have gotten around to broaching the subject yourself, it’s time to intervene.

First find out what your child has heard, but not in an accusatory way. Be cool. Once you have gathered the information, start to impart facts that you consider to be age-appropriate. Say where babies come from or when you think having sex for the first time is okay.

If you are really concerned about what the other child is exposing yours to, you may want to bring it up with their parents. When you do, try to express concern for both children, to avoid placing blame.

When a kid falls into the good graces of a queen bee or a pack leader, he often takes on at least some of that friend’s exclusivity. Ask your child questions about the emotions that his friend provokes. Thinking through the answers to these questions should help reinforce your child’s sense of empathy, empowering him to act for himself and stand up for kindness toward others.

Children who throw tantrums morning, noon, and night tend to have naturally difficult temperaments, as well as parents or caregivers who reinforce their behaviour by giving in to their demands. Without these two components in place, your child isn’t at risk of a total personality change. She could go through a phase of mimicking the behaviour.