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Almost on a daily basis, man shoots himself in the foot in far too many ways. For instance one: look at how hard life is, globally. You would think it is some spirit or some animal that is the heartless force responsible for running things on earth. But, it is all human; it is man harming self.
If man truly loved self, why not convene a global meeting and at that table take the decision to crash living standards? Alas, man is sick in the head and at heart. Too cold and too hateful to be human. Too mean and too selfish, he would rather die than see others have a better life.
Ever wondered why governments said to have been elected by the people do everything to keep the same electorate in chains? They serve them so-called democratic dividends in small doses -apologies Dr Emmanuel Akpanobong, medic and author. At every turn, they treat them as slaves, shaming them softly. Next year, in the build-up to our 2027 general ballot, this writer shall serve you an entry detailing mannerisms or rather people you should never elect let alone re-elect.
By the way, have you noticed that some Nigerian politicians are daily, unconsciously de-marketing themselves? Those holding one office or the other daily make their re-election almost impossible while those looking to get in daily warn us indirectly to never let them anywhere near such high office. Just exactly why does man behave or talk or lie himself into so much trouble is something man should study as a university course. You have the yam and the knife yet you keep acting like one who neither knows that fact nor the usefulness of both turn-by-turn possessions.
For instance two: look at how vainglorious man has become? Even the littlest acts of human kindness must be broadcast. Even at the highest echelons of power, where humility is necessarily an inevitable accompaniment since there is nothing else left to prove, man engages in egoistic comedowns in the name of showing off. But, the world already knows you are the man, the main man, the only man; the deputy God!
So, please, in the name of God or of all the other things you believe in, stop shaming us. Pride is for the low, humility is for the high. Cut the world some slack, cut your people especially those directly under you some slack. Humility does not have to be proud, does not have to be noisy, does not have to announce itself or prove anything whatsoever!
Beware, the world may be wicked but people, especially those who play the fool laughing or smiling and applauding you sheepishly at every turn, know generosity when they see it. They see through everything. They see through you and your deceitfulness. You think them fools but they know you so.
They know a kind person and of course the mean equivalent no matter how you present yourself. People would always wait for the opportune time to show that they always knew who was who, who was what. So, my dear best thing since ice cream, be calming down: those people you think know nothing about what you are doing are watching and noting so they know how to score or strike you soon. Somehow, I feel that you are frowning reading this but someday, you shall thank me for this rhema.
Which brings us to our third and final for instance: look at the incredible silliness with which man excellencifies nonsense and swirls around to nonsensify excellence. We pay scant attention to a virtuoso, even a precocious one, who steps out and shines globally but what do we do for a shame-bringer? We celebrate them to high heavens, making their shame our pride, even publicly lining up to announce mouthwatering prizes and donations for which excellence can only salivate. Our world is sinking, if it has not already sunk to the deepest depths irredeemably.
Take a look at what government at every level is doing, for example in the education and health sectors. Instantly, you get to understand why we deserve 95% of our leaders and why like alarming majority of them prefer foreign to our hospitals. Everyone plays to the gallery until they return to the popular stands and then it hits them. Successors become predecessors sooner than later and the beats of loneliness, of being ignored and of regrets go on.
Make hay now, Mr Man -and, Mr Woman. The sun shall soon set. The sun you see now you shall see it no more, in a year or two. Everything you need to do and for which you have the resources, please do it today; please do it now!
Listen, eschew procrastination even if you cannot. It is a joy stealer, a future stealer, a time stealer. The moment it is your turn, do anything and everything for everybody. Delay nothing, postpone nothing because tomorrow might be too late.
However, the foregoing is entirely a deviation. There is a relationship though with our caption. We are here today to discuss the immense benefits of alone time. How much of it do you get?
Talking about fallen standards, we also see that most people now prefer company to alone moments. In fact, recently, on the BUSH HOUSE NIGERIA flagship programme, 20 QUESTIONS, which broadcasts every Wednesday (11am) and every Friday (9pm) on ADBN (DSTV Channel 258 and Startimes Channel 140) as well as every Monday (3pm) and Saturday (8pm) on Passion 94.5 FM, Uyo-Nigeria (and on Radio Garden) we used 300 million people as object. That is said to be the number of people globally without a single friend. However, it is not the alone moments of these ones that we are talking about.
Alone moments cannot and should not be every time. That balance is fundamental. We must share moments with others. Even animals do.
Being in the healthy company of others helps life in mindblowing ways. It helps our brain, our psychological and overall health, our mien; it helps us see life more positively and above all, it makes us feel useful and valued. We cannot not have friends, good friends, with whom we occasionally spend quality time, share a laugh or even a tear. Alas, if all we do is spend with others all the time that we have, we run the risk of feeling permanently empty, exhausted and if care is not taken, we run the greatest risk of exiting wherever too soon.
Alone time is a must for everyone: the boss, the servant; the rich, the poor; the black, the white; the educated, the uneducated. No matter your schedule or workload, create your alone time and stick to it. It is the only absolute moment of reflection and truth. You see, so many of us speak truth to power but never to ourselves until we go through a real alone moment.
Alone time is the auspicious period to reflect on the past and the present simultaneously; the best moment to consider everybody and everything in perspective; alone time is the golden opportunity to ruminate, uninfluenced, on all angles of a matter and take the hard decision(s). With no phone or such other ubiquitous distractions, there are no other voices. There is no other extraneous competition or attention seeker. The son of man, for once, has own fate in his own hands.
In that alone moment, an honest person stands like a naked man in front of a full-length mirror. They see everything: their highs, their lows, and where work is required to achieve distinction. They see where they had made a mistake and almost instantly how to make things right. If they are good and strong and leaders, once they come out, they apologise or change approach or direction.
Leaders who do not ensure alone time, for themselves or their team members, always find that they struggle against the tide or the wind. In Nigeria, leaders spend 25 hours daily in unproductive meetings; meetings which tire them out. Our leaders even erroneously believe they are showing workings by never having something as priceless as quality sleep. All those too frequent reports of our public officers suffering ill health is down to sleep or the lack of it -in the main.
Alone time is the hour or two or three for frank introspection, a no-holds-barred self assessment and evaluation. It is more like you addressing yourself in the presence of God and God alone. Meaning, this is one meeting where you cannot blow one of those lies of yours. Alone time is the make or break sessions of truth that every person must necessarily offer their life, intermittently.
Alone time might even be much better or more productive than all those outings with friends who may after all be enemies to be revealed or unveiled by time. Alone time is therapeutic: you clear off all those cardiac and mental cobwebs. You free yourself, you heal yourself, you forgive others, you seek others’ forgiveness. That way, you reduce the useless weight that your life had put on, in the days of ignorance.
Furthermore, alone time allows you to see life in other unimaginable ways. It calms you down. It automatically reduces your speed to what it should be. Alone time rescues you from yourself in addition to guarding and guiding you organically.
The person who balances alone moments with the frequency of outings with sane friends is living the life. That is the life. Spend quality time occasionally with friends who are good people and who have shown that they desire the best for you but even more occasionally, shut out family and friends and treat yourself to that alone time. You shall find it medicinal; almost talismanic.
Apart from good family and good food and good friends, great hygiene, fantastic medicare, a little money, wonderful lifestyle, quality rest and quality sleep and unceasing joy aka no worries, the other best gift that every person must gift self is alone time. Alone time refreshes you, rejigs your focus, resets your mind; alone time insulates you from insanity and ensures you overcome all forms of peer and sundry pressures of life. Get quality alone time, from time to time, even when it seems you cannot and should not. And, see how your life glows and progresses and sparkles.
God bless Nigeria
August 12: Int’l day of love, appreciation (II)
• Cont’d from last Monday
DiamondAbasi’s and my birthday party also had in attendance immediate past Dean of Faculty of Education, University of Uyo, Prof. Imaobong Akpan; Engr Akan Okon; Acting Vice Chancellor of AKSU, Prof. OtoAbasi Akpan and at least two of his lecturers, Dr & Pastor (Mrs.) Essien Ukpe and Double Prof. Imoh Imoh-Ita; The Netisens, Mr and Mrs. Joseph Asangaeneng; Communication and Media Studies Ph.D. class led by Class Guv’nor, Mrs. Unwanaobong Williams complete with one of our lecturers, Dr Oyokunyi Ita; my Uyo in-laws led by Uncle Fabian Paul Archibong; Mrs. Emem Umoh and children, Edidiong ad Emem; Mr Precious Ukeje; Mr Endiong John; Bobby Friga and company (who performed); The Singphonix (who also performed); Messrs. Sifon Okoko and Imeh Akpan; Mrs. Usiereyo Cosmas Ntekop and many others too numerous to mention.
• Concluded
