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Let us play with the English alphabet while simultaneously pointing out some shocking realities of life. Teeing off with A, the word chosen is above. There is not one human being, dead or alive, who could be said to have been or to be above another human being in all ramifications. No way: if one person is above the other in power, in reach, in wealth, the latter is above the former too in the lack of the three variables!
Moving on to B, best is not best. When say, Nigeria win the World Cup or FIFA pronounce Victor Osimhen ballon d’or winner, neither the country nor the citizen would be said to be the global best in the real sense of football. I mean, did the World Cup field all countries and on the other hand all footballers? How do you declare that this or that is the best in the whole world when you neither gave the opportunity to all nor assessed everybody?
C throws up the word, cowards, who in Nigeria are plentier in politics. These ladies and gentlemen are naturally not cowards. Na condition: political cowardice in Nigeria is a whole industry or way of life sustained by desperation or threats of seclusion. To cover the shame, the guys have concocted a euphemistic sobriquet, stomach infrastructure, for the end product of both the desperation and the threats which are sometimes too subtle to be so-called.
D for (US) dollar: we all want it or do you not? Most governments of non-American countries and entities prefer the dollar to own currency, even frequently announcing gifts to own citizens in dollars rather than in own denomination. Alas, who would believe that the American dollar is not the strongest currency in the world; in fact, according to Unbiased Pro, the US dollar was only the 10th strongest currency at the global market as at September last year. So you know how to appropriately dispense the ad hoc bragging rights, here is the top 10 line-up:
1 Kuwaiti Dinar Kuwait KWD £2.40
2 Bahraini Dinar Bahrain BHD £1.94
3 Omani Rial Oman OMR £1.91
4 Jordanian Dinar Jordan JOD £1.04
5 British Pound Sterling United Kingdom GBP N/A
6 Gibraltar Pound Gibraltar GIP N/A
7 Swiss Franc Switzerland CHF £0.93
8 Cayman Islands Dollar Cayman Islands KYD £0.88
9 Euro Eurozone countries EUR £0.87
10 United States Dollar United States USD £0.73
Poor E, education is a pyrrhic victory. Granted it has completely lit up both the earth and humanity, but it is the same education that compels man from time to time to throw the same earth and the same humanity into utter darkness. Imagine bombs and such other weapons of mass destruction, did illiteracy manufacture them? Education, many thanks for the fabulous value you have added but please stop teaching man nonsense on the other hand!
The F word, foolishness, is strength: a Nigerian osmosis. Where I come from, foolishness is so important it is considered a fundamental criterion in the leadership recruitment process. The less you know, the brighter your chances. Or, to put it the way it is: the more foolish you are, the more likely they would prefer you.
G for gallery: who has never played to the gallery, who is not playing to the gallery, who can authoritatively say they will never play to the gallery? Sssh, beware, never swear never. After all, no one has proved to be immune so far: not the church, not government, not parents, not teachers; nobody. Everybody plays to the gallery, at one point or the other.
For H, the word of choice is help. An alarming majority of helpees would not have helped their helpers had tables turned. Nor would they should tables turn. Most helpees do not like let alone love their helpers.
Coming now to I, the letter contributes the word, innocence. One strangest truest truth here is that in Nigeria and perhaps around the world, most prisons (or correctional homes) are filled with innocent people. Conversely, too many people walking about free ought to be behind bars for life. And, speaking about correctional homes, most ex-convicts came out more hardened or worse than they went in!
J for justice. There is no such thing as justice cast in concrete. To achieve it, you must have money or power or both or have a strong relationship with people who do. Or you must know how to mobilise to fight, to shout, to threaten private and public peace.
K is for kindness. Let the kind soul beware that 95 times over 100, they are being exploited or taken advantage of, being mocked behind by beneficiaries of their good nature. Kindness can kill you, financially and physically. Kindness can waste you, psychologically and spiritually.
L prefers to shine the light on lamp: a lamp far transcends what you know it to be. A lamp can also be human, holding your hand or speaking; guiding or teaching you. An animal, a plant and such other natural stuff like season, weather, etc. are lamps, technically speaking. Now, as a human being, are you a lamp of light or an evil lamp?
The letter, M, has just one magic word: money. The strangest even stupidest truest truth about money is that you who have it must spend it to benefit from it. When idiomers say that you cannot have your cake and eat it, they may really be referring to money. Money must leave your bank account, your hand, your mind, your pocket, or wherever else you hide it, beforehand or afterwards, for you to enjoy its full value.
Going forward, N for necessity: a few schools of thought have sprung up vis-a-vis man’s basic needs. One names food, clothing and shelter while another lists food, water, clothing, sleep, and shelter. Pray, where is the place of love, what about cleanliness, and does man not need what I call basic knowledge? See, truth to tell, man’s basic necessities are unlimited!
Next, O is for ocean: I bet you many would contest the fact that in the very distant past what is today Atlantic Ocean was only a river. Yes, Man, Atlantic Ocean was only a small body of water. Sssh, do not despise the days of little beginnings. A small wise one shall become a mighty nation, a mighty silly nation shall -surely- become a village!
We come now to P which is for people. You need people to come into the world, to succeed, to enjoy that success, and to bury or help you out of the world at the end. Alas, it is still people who block you from succeeding, who desperately block your enjoyment and who directly or indirectly kill you. Life is the more you see, the less you understand.
What about Q which is for query?: too much of that written back and forth in offices is a function of hate. Those whom the powers-that-be like hardly get queried no matter the monumentality of their offence. However, you see those being targeted, they never evade a query even if for nothing. The intention is to mess up the good person’s file so that in future they would not qualify for that big interview but thank God, man is not God!
R is for run. No matter how much man tries, they cannot (outrun or) run faster than life, than Satan, and than self. It is only God who helps man. Which is the point so beautifully and powerfully made in Ecclesiastes 9:11: “I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.”
S is for sovereignty, and now this indisputable fact: there is not one truly sovereign nation in the world; no, not one. Well, perhaps, except on paper and this is not necessarily about the rocket science of one country kidnapping the sitting president of another so-called sovereign nation from inside his bedroom. Even Trump’s United States of America, that looks all like it, is a far cry. Their democracy or electoral outcome, a global model, is influenced legally, from within and from within, by those who ain’t that American!
T is for trust which is supposed to be the bedrock of all relationships. I said “supposed to be” because the same trust that is the bedrock of relationships is also its very Achilles’ heel. For instance, betrayal -a very bad something- is birthed only by trust, a very good word. We all trust friends, never enemies, but we all know it is not enemies who betray that trust, right?
The letter, U, chips in the word, unanimous. Have you ever heard or read about Nigerians being unanimous on something? Well, you know, politics Nigeriana wants me to tell you to always be suspicious on such occasions. In Nigeria, unanimous -just like consensus- does not mean everybody has agreed; it only means a few of the powerful top leaders have agreed so everybody else can go to hell!
V is for valuable. It is a crying shame that in the church and such other sanctuaries of worship as well as upper echelons of government, too many leaders prefer those who can add evil value. That is the reason real children of God who are qualified academically are roaming the streets while dropout scoundrels have usurped their positions. Value is no longer value, it now has two sides namely a good head and an evil tail which the world prefers -unfortunately!
W is for wealth. Someone who has money can be considered poor but you see someone considered wealthy? Poverty is too far from, too alien to them. Except they are not wealthy; except they are just pretenders to that throne.
Quarter-finally, X is for xenophobia. Haters of strangers are the greatest fools alive. They dig pits for themselves, indirectly because, I mean, so long as they live they shall at some point become strangers too. Therefore, understand henceforth that when you hate or are afraid of strangers, you are doing yourself: it is just a matter of time!
Semi-finally, Y is for yearnings. Not all deep desires shall be fulfilled even if Jesus tarried for eternity. Some deep desires are not meant to be achieved. They are meant to remain just that -deep desires: know that and have peace.
Finally, Z is for zero and time has come for us to start respecting it. Zero does not always mean nothing. For example, the three zeros in Gideon’s 300,000 Utopian army. Clearly, the fact that God took away the three zeros and left him with 300 means that zero is not always zero, or?
God bless Nigeria!
