Zion trail is coming our way

Brothers and Sisters in Crisis, get up! stand up! Stand up for your right. Get up, stand up! Don’t give up the fight. I agree. I am a thief. I stole the song from the late Bob Marley, the Jamaican-born world-acclaimed reggae legend.

Before you people take my name to the Nigerian Copyright Council, I want to confess here and now that I am not the original or fake owner of the song. I only borrowed it for this moment. And, afterward, I intend to return it to the original owner in the land of the dead. Without paying a dime, that is. Or, did you hear or read anywhere that the dead collect copyright fee from anybody? Only the living does so.

Anyway, I don’t want to digress. I come to announce to you, Brothers and Sisters in Crisis in our good and great church in Abuja, that Zion trail (train?) is coming our way. Again, that’s another song I stole from Bob Marley. From what I can see and what I am yet to see, you can’t live in our great country, Nigeria, without stealing something from somebody.

If not money then it is used tyre. If not used tyre then it is recharge card or ATM. If not the two then it is a cup or handful of garri to smoke or is it drink? If not garri then it is rice or beans from one of your neighbour’s kitchen. If not rice or beans, then it is onion or Maggi cube, curry, Tyme or even sticks of matches. If not these then it is kerosene, gas or ororo or palm oil. If not palm oil then it is hair cream or soap to bathe with. If not hair cream or body cream then it is hair shampoo.

If not cream then it is international passport. If not international passport then it is visa. If not visa then it is photo from someone’s album. If not photo, then it is I-phone or Samsung or any of the smart phones. If not phone then it is Holy Bible. If not Holy Bible, then it is Holy Communion wafers (actually there was a year robbers stole this one). If not wafers then it is human being, children or adult, it does not matter. If not children or babies, then it is someone’s identity. If not identity then it is ladies’ pants. If not their pants then it is ladies themselves. Brothers and Sisters in Crisis, just tell me one thing we have not stolen in this country.

Believe it or not, as I was on this page writing this nonsense, I overheard some folks arguing on top or is it under (?) their voices that I got all but one wrong – that of stealing ladies. So, you are prepared to argue with me on that one, abi?, to bet with me on it at Bet9ja, 9jaBet, Bet King or Nairabet? I pity you.

When you people deceive our girls and tell them that work boku for Italy or Libya or France or cut and paste photocopied notices about non-existent jobs in a factory or company nowhere in Nigeria, what do you call that? Or, can you swear with the Bible that the Bedouin (You can’t) Fathom Oyinbo uses to preach and the fingers he uses to probe the bodies of our bevy of beautiful ladies or girls at Commonwealth church in Abuja that he is not stealing their womanhood, honour and respect by waving his Bible like a mantra?

For those who don’t know, the Bedouin (Biodun?) or Bedu are a group of nomadic Arab people who have historically inhabited the desert (dessert?) regions in North Africa, the Arabian Peninsula, Iraq and Syria. Actually, the word, Bedouin means “desert dwellers.” So? Go and give your filthy mind a bath! I didn’t even know that the Bedouins were stealing our beautiful ladies from our Commonwealth in Abuja and using them as desserts after sampling their own wives until one Timid Dark O’ LOL said so in his tweet, weeks ago.

Titled “Commonwealth ko, Zion ni,” he wrote: “From Ilorin to Abuja to Lagos to Dubai to Port Harcourt, to London and any city he visits, your pastor (Pass It On?) is leaving a trail of broken women, sexually abused and mentally strangled. From Avalanche, to Gratitude, from Pastoral Care Unit, to Host and Hostesses, from Witty Inventions, to Hospitality Unit, they are found in every department in that church.

“He handpicks his victims and ruins them. So, none of you wonder why a dedicated church worker or leader stop coming to church and don’t want to talk about it. Suddenly, rumours start flying about the person being evil. I will tell you all straight up, all your branch pastors know about this evil going on for years, and are part of it. Some of the victims they will threaten, some they will pay off and some they will suppress by isolating from the “church members.” Oga “Criminal Lawyer” always ready to do the dirty work behind the scene just to drown the truth. Dear church members, try and find these ladies and men to hear their side of the truth before crucifying them or branding them evil. Trust me, their side of the story will shock you. Commonwealth ko…Zion ni…Church is supposed to fix broken people and not crush people who show up in church needing God.”

Brothers and Sisters in Crisis, didn’t I tell you so?: that Zion trail is coming our way. And, if you are minded to argue with me on this one, witness how Timid Dark O’ LOL said it here in black and white, that one Pass It On (Pastor?) from the tribe of the Bedouins “is leaving a trail of broken women, sexually abused and mentally strangled.”

Gut is my witness that I told una so, that Zion trail is coming our way. Oh, people, get on board (I have already done so. Check properly inside our Commonwealth in Abuja, you are sure to find me either in Avalanche, Gratitude, Pastoral Care Unit, Host and Hostesses, Witty Inventions or Hospitality Unit, prowling for babes. After all, they are our commonwealth with whom we can do anything we like, grope and touch their bodies anyhow, aren’t they?).

Is this lust (love?), is this lust (love?) I am feelin’ (again, apology to Bob Marley of blessed memory). I got to catch a train, because there is no other station to our commonwealth except through these service units. So? No Woman, No Cry. I remember when we used to sit in the government (Commonwealth?) yard in Abuja…observing the hypocrites, as they would mingle with the good people…Again, you are right. I stole the lines from Bob Marley, the reggae legend. Why? Because Zion trail is coming our way.