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I have repeatedly said that women should cover their husband’s nakedness because there is no perfect marriage anywhere. That includes the marital unions of religious leaders who preach to the rest of us from the pulpits. After all, they are also human, even though they are anointed vessels.
The first lesson that a young lady going into marriage should know is that no two marriages are the same; there is no perfect marriage. One outstanding adage says, ‘a woman is the home.’ Please note carefully that it does not call a man the home but a woman. What that implies is that there are special qualities and valuable attributes that God has endowed the woman with, to make her a home builder. The question is, how many women appreciate, regard, honour and make the best use of it to build their marital relationships? Unfortunately, quite a number of women destroy their own homes.
I recall how a close friend told me how his wife destroyed their home. He said: “I must admit I had a side-chick and my wife got wind of it through my friend. Instead of asking me, she spread the story all over the town. She told everybody in our neighbourhood, in my business circle and the people in places we used to visit together. Wait, am I the first man to keep a side chick? Why would my wife scandalize me in such a manner? She almost closed up all the avenues that enabled me earn money to sustain the family. It was terrible. The shame of that experience now makes it difficult to relate with friends again, because as soon as they see me, they start to ridicule me.”
Well, I think the woman showed the level of her understanding. In as much as I am not an advocate of extramarital affairs, what she did was the height of irresponsibility. Scandalizing her husband was not the right way to handle the situation she found unpleasant. Oftentimes some men divorce their wives for the very kind of thing done by the woman and then marry the sidechick. What will be the gain of this wife who scandalized her husband that way? Did she call her man privately to speak and hear from him. The late Mrs. Eudora Iwuanyanwu in some of her last interactions with women in her church admonished that when they see such devilish finger in their homes, they should call the husband in, and say something like, “Some people are encroaching into our property, let us go and see how it. That will gladden a man’s heart and redirect his footstep; instead of going out with friends to drink, he would rather go see to his landed property.”
But the lady in question did not see life that way, all that she knew to do was to talk like a parrot to the detriment of her own home. To think that the likes of Mrs. Jeff covered her husband’s nakedness until that thanksgiving morning when she let the cat out of the bag was deep and huge. “I want to thank God for healing my husband from erectile dysfunction. He suffered a mild stroke, and from its complications and the medications, he developed erectile dysfunction for years. Even when he regained himself, that part of his body did not come up alive until much later when God answered our prayer.”
This is for women to know that no marriage succeeds by miracle, rather by principles; therefore, cover your man’s nakedness, stop announcing your story everywhere, it does not make you a great woman, rather a cheap empty woman.
Again, how many women understand their power and feminism in marital relationships? How many can stand to defend his poor performance where it is needed? It is worrisome that some women would accept a marriage proposal, enjoy all the beautiful and colourful activities of the ceremony only to discover that they have separated themselves from the marriage without the man’s knowledge. The man would only discover that he has become a lone ranger when his activities, decisions and projections for a family dangle alone without support or contribution from his supposed spouse, yet they live in the same house. The moment a woman refuses to cover her man’s nakedness, next is to expose and castigate a once loved man and the home becomes a crumbled packed card. I have often asked why do women shift their grounds from their men especially when their children are grown? The relationship between a man and his wife seems to drift a bit apart as they raise grown children; it takes the grace of God to see many love-bound unions where a woman stands tall and cover her man. When they are a young family, they women are submissive accordingly, but the moment their children begin to grow, they become very ungovernable, unlawful and use their children as a binding factor of support against their men. Mrs. Odiniwa, a civil servant said in her understanding as a marriage counsellor, she has discovered that most women seem to be levelheaded because they are new and young in the relationship; their shock-absorbing syndrome is still fresh and young and can therefore take most jabs; but with time and age, they begin to raise their eyebrows and challenge some institutions. “In my class then I had a woman who told me, ‘As a new wife, if my husband asked me to sit down, I would, but after some time, when he gave that sit down order, I would challenge it and ask why I should sit down.’ It is within this stage of some women’s marriage relationship that they learn how to disobey, remove the husband’s coverage and expose a lot of things in the marriage.
Surprisingly, what most of these women do not realize is that not all that glitters in marriage are gold. There are so many women who have gone through more difficult and terrifying stages yet stand tall beside their husband and be the conqueror. When a distant uncle who was a bit comfortable started a relationship with his secretary in the office, some termed it to be a mere office romance without knowing that danger is looming ahead. By the time uncle brought his side chick home for the yuletide of that year and asked his wife to move out of their matrimonial bedroom, the wife thought it was a joke, until her loads were carelessly thrown out for the side chick to move in. the Madam of the house did not respond rather watched the two love birds until that era faded away like the stars of the morning. Odiniwa asks a lady who is 10 years in marriage, but 34 in age: “Yet you are still quarrelling, fighting and exposing your husband, when will you grow up and stop all that crap of a behaviour?” Some women have used their tongue to reduce their husbands to nothing within her own family, friends and associates. There are men who do not worth a nickel among his peers because of their women’s exposure; it gets so bad that whatever a wife sells about her husband is universally acceptable because two has become one. Most people would believe such story because it is coming from the horses’ mouth.
Dear women, I assume you are now an awakened woman, stop celebrating your husband’s failures, you do not know what people are going through and have gone through, yet everybody knows your story. It is not every invitation that is thrown at you for fight that you must honour. No. A woman should know when to tread softly and see the result not being a chatter box, especially when the storms come. Do not sow what you will not like to reap; it is better to think most of the times than to even pray. Instead of being idle and wait for your financial totality on the man, be engaged no matter how little because every soul should be an asset. Fingers are not equal but let ours not be the shortest. The simple law of karma says ‘what goes around, comes around; keep your circle positive. Speak good words, think good thoughts and do good deeds.
