Women, please just move on

The hardest truth a woman can face is realizing that a man can stay with her over the years without ever truly choosing her. Yes, the man can enjoy a woman’s company, loyalty as well as share intimacy and still never step into the role of making the same woman his life partner. He can be comfortable with her and still not be serious with her. Therefore do not confuse duration with devotion.

Over the years, there has been this assumption that good women end up with badly behaved men while the unserious girls luckily win the marital trophy. With the growing number of instances, somehow this begins to seem true.

In the past week, the social media was agog with the news of a celebrity whose husband is allegedly involved with two other ladies in a very compromising romantic relationship. This same husband had informed his side-chick that he was not married. Both kept enjoying their illicit affair until the side-chick lured her friend into a threesome sex act. Her friend who joined them recognized the actor’s husband and boldly called him out. Social media therefore completed the broadcast and gave it the final word. Just imagine, that a wife is out there working hard for the family, then her husband is busy enjoying himself in that manner. Also there might be a possibility that it is the woman’s money that the husband was using to pay for his irresponsibility. Same legally husband who is described by netizens as a name dropper has children with his actor wife, yet claims he is a single man. I am just wondering how the wife, children, in-laws, friends and colleagues, even his own family would react to this level of waywardness.

Women also cheat on their men which is too bad. I am not here to defend today’s women; it is bad for both sexes to cheat on each other. Now that the scales have fallen from the eyes of the man, he is probably regretting his action or blaming it on the devil. Only God knows what would also be going through the mind of his beloved wife. Should she forgive her husband, pretend as if nothing happened or quit the marriage? The choice is hers and nobody else. From the comment section, it is obvious that this might not be his first time.

Whatever tradition would say, the women must be blamed for men’s irresponsibility. For this kind of story that broke out, some would talk about how the woman was not satisfying her husband at home, which was the reason he strayed, to find love and peace. No problem. The societal judge would turn the story to set the man free. But for so many irresponsible acts of the men, women please just move on.

For so many uncountable mistreatment of women, please move on. The first take-away from this piece today is for the women to know they should not rush into marriage, instead rush into building themselves first because a strong woman attracts strong choices. Women, please always have your own bank account, savings and investment. Be sure you do not rely on anyone for financial security. Do not let anyone put you down because you are a woman, you are not weak, but simply underestimated. A woman with dreams, ambitions and confidence is unstoppable. She does not chase any man, instead builds empires. Again, do not ever shrink yourself to fit into someone’s small vision. Queens do not sit at tables where they are not respected. Make sure as a woman, you have your own life, money, dreams before getting married. Why it is very important for women to build on themselves is because love can definitely leave a woman anytime. When this happens, what becomes of her? What should she hold unto? The nature of man makes such decisions much easier for them. Be it in separation, messy-divorce, widow-hood and otherwise, they find life easier than women. Once a woman is shattered, it might take her life if care is not taken.

Interestingly, all have seen the transformation of an ex-wife of a Nollywood actor who abandoned his family and found new love outside his home. The actor had started a relationship with his side chick, where they were acting in a film. In no time, he announced the birth of his son from his side-chick. Then came the shocking loss of their first son and all hell was let loose. Social media fed on their separation, death of their son, divorce, property acquisition and others. Till date, the actor and his current wife are being dragged on social media by netizens. The ex-wife blossomed like a morning flower, became ambassador to many brands, influencer to many organizations and grew her businesses into successful brands. One would be asking how she satisfies her sexual urges as a young lady, but the truth is that a woman who is deeply hurt might not be thinking of sex. All of a sudden, her marriage collapsed without any allegation coupled with the loss of her first son. She can close up for the rest of her life. Sex might not mean anything to her again. What would matter to her would be her children and new discoveries and growth of her business empire. That is what she is holding onto and found joy. If love and marriage where she wanted to spend the rest of her life would leave her just like that, who else should be trusted? She has become a case study why women should build themselves while married or not.

Again, to the women, while in that relationship where he professes love on a daily basis, never do wife duties at girlfriend prices. Stop giving full commitment to men who are offering confusion, inconsistency and bare minimum effort. A man who truly values you will not expect lifetime benefits from temporary access. All standards protect women.

Women stop trying to be liked by everyone. Put your career before marriage. Build your life, your skills, money and independence. It is not selfish, but necessary. When you have your own foundation, you do not just settle, you choose. Men, please be informed that there is a level of status a woman attains in life; her man will behave himself very well. This is because, if he does not, the excellent woman would move on smartly to enjoy herself anyhow she wants. Every romance must not be in Africa according to one senior woman somewhere. From the fact check, the manner in which celebrity marriages break are not the same with the senior cadres of women in the corporate world today. The men understood that these classes of women earn money in six digits; therefore when she goes, her man also loses her six digits as well.

For the new young girls, please do not be a girl who is obsessed with men, instead be a girl who is obsessed with career and making money. Build a life that does not collapse if a man leaves. Your stability is your leverage, be that woman. Educate yourself, be pretty, wear your make-up on, dress elegantly, get that degree, start that business and chase your dreams, then, do not stop for anyone. A woman who buys her clothes, heels, takes care of herself, pays her bills will never fight over a man.

Again, it is for the uncountable experiences women had gone through in the hands of men that the accomplished ones are holding their hands of the younger ones to say “Take your financial life very seriously, build real wealth because the world is very cruel to poor women. It is harsher when you have no options, louder when you depend on someone else’s income.

One might think, money is the only salvation to a married woman, no, it is not. But money will buy you safety, freedom and choices. Earn money, so you can walk away when it is no more comfortable. Save, so you can sleep peacefully, then build, so you never have to beg.