Will cheating stop in relationships?

Cheating in relationships can reduce if the actors are ready to wear a new mindset. It can also continue to soar because of the nitty-gritty situations. It is two sides to a coin. There are many indices why the issue will keep growing. Shocking is the fact that cheating is not ascribed to a particular sex. Most men and women, married and single all cheat at various degrees. Well, spousal cheating is as old as marriage itself. Even in the golden ages, there were issues of cheating by men and women. From the grapevine, when old men would ask their aged wives to step aside for side-chicks to come in and spend some days. That was pure cheating. Only it became more pronounced with the influx of the social media space. The android phone became a perfect tool that propagates all cheating sign languages. Social media became a perfect game-changer for cheating tricks. Through the power of the social media, many couples have violated their marital oaths while they cheat.

Interestingly, that men cheat on their wives is no longer a story but an ‘entitled mentality’ for them. This entitlement mentality is the reason why cheating might not stop. Men would tell how their body anatomy is wired differently. How biblical Solomon and David kept harems of women, yet were the apple of God’s eye. These two facts became their biblical winning injunctions to cheat on their women. In a layman’s language, some would tell, ‘Must a man eat same soup at all times? Men will go ahead and extoll the virtue of cheating at its best. But no, it should not be so. It is such entitled mentality that saw a Law Professor at the University of Calabar, (UNICAL) who served as Dean sentenced to five-year jail term by a Federal High Court sitting in Abuja for sexual harassment in November 2025. Even at his height as a dean and Professor, he was hell bent on cheating until the long arms of the law caught up with him and forcefully zipped him up. This type of cheating is highly embarrassing and belittling. Some have done it and went scot-free.

Worthy of note is the fact that, in the early years of new generation banking and high-penciled-heel corporate jobs, young ladies became sexual guinea-pigs. Most of them went through sexual molestation with the ‘big bosses’ to get those jobs and keep them. Not that they did not qualify. They passed all exams in the days of GMAT. Yet, sexual cheating from both ends will cough out employment letters. Next, the well-endowed ladies would be unleashed to the marketing departments to meet sex-starved wolves. These ladies were expected to rake in millions as targets from big business accounts where men were also heads. And cheating keeps growing on a daily basis. To those men, it was a case of ‘use what you have to get what you want.’ No client would part with N10m or 20m without the pants down. Thank God for the influx of women who head most corporate organisations presently, especially the banks. As the cheating kept multiplying, it also encouraged side-chick syndrome which affected the fabric of marriages. Those sexual bullies then went scot-free because social media was not in existence.

Regrettably, listening to US based-Nigeria Prof. Uju Anya’s confession recently on Chude podcast on her marriage into same-sex is another form of cheating. She said “I was in love with my ex-husband, but I loved women more, so we ended things.” What an incredible confession from a woman. Anya might not be alone in this pitiable situation; so many other women are alleged to be bisexual in their relationships which amounts to cheating.

Again, there are women who are naturally obsessed or wired sexually like the men. They do not make do with one man which leads them to cheat. So, in their DNA, they are bound to cheat. Once a story was told of a woman in the south-south whose young married daughters do not allow her visit them. One wonders how a 24-years old who just put to bed and refuse her mother come do Omugwo for her. The new mother knows what she was avoiding. Her mother does not see young men without tasting them. She has been described as a serial cheat. Incredible! She slept with her younger sister’s husband and both remain sworn enemies till date. When irresponsible son in-law meet with irresponsible mother in-law, how are the mighty falling?

Women who cheat, no matter the situation are not worthy women. Great thinkers keep asking what happens to women who live alone. Young women who are separated, divorced or even widows. One asks how do they manage their sexual lives? While some resort to become celibates, some allow the music to play on. Then, should they be called cheats assuming they are seeing other men? Where is their place in sexual relationships?  What awaits the men who are also dealing with them? Should they be branded as cheats? This is why it might a bit difficult for cheating to subside.

Again, there are women who are married to men who live outside the country. These men might be heavy drug cartels in foreign countries who visits home once in a while. Some might be serving jail terms in those European countries, and find it difficult to visit home. Some also might not be drug cartels but waiting for the proper paper documentations before they could move. But, while over there, they would keep their families in comfort. Housing them in a state-of-arts well-furnished mansion with little children is great, but something is seriously missing in action. Most of such lonely women became single again and find succor in the hands of younger boys. At times, they cash out on their husband to pay their younger lovers. Cheating keeps skyrocketing at its best!

Fact remains that cheating goes perfectly well in offices and business areas. Office romance strives and not about to stop. When two consenting adults wholeheartedly decide to fan the flame, they cheat happily. It starts with a little spark and blossom into something bigger. When a late MD of a blue-chip industry found his secretary worthy; the rumour was rife. Next was pregnancy from the cheating tango, and subsequently, a baby girl came forth. Within years, the stylish MD died and left two women to mourn him. His first wife claimed she was the wife of his youth, while his secretary claimed she was the love of his life. The response of the secretary was the fruit of cheating.

It is not in doubt that both men and women have died secretly while on a cheating spree. There have been cases where men collapsed and died in hotel rooms with another lady. Likewise, women who die during sex romp with other men. 

The science of cheating is not within human comprehension. Only God knows why it is the way it is. Otherwise, why does hook-up thrive? Who are the victims of hook up? The men who patronize hook-up girls are birds of a feather.

But then, cheating can be reduced drastically for both genders. For it to stop, it must come from a genuine mind of all unfaithful partners. It can reduce but requires significant internal motivation, self-reflection and often professional help to address underlying issues. He or she should focus on understanding the root cause of his or her behaviour. With lasting change, it depends on individuals’ genuine commitment to fostering healthier relationship patterns. Again, rebuilding trust through consistent effort and open communication.

Such people must truly want to change for themselves, not for their partners. They must also understand why they cheat and take responsibility for their actions, which is crucial, rather than deflecting game.

Dear Nigerian men and women; remove that addendum of the spirit is willing but the body is weak. Let both the body and spirit be willing to drop cheating habit. Yes, it can stem from unmet needs, unresolved past hurts, or a desire to explore identity. To stop the devilish habit, practise radical honesty and open communication with your partner. Show you are changing through consistent actions, do not just tell it. Then, stop the behaviour immediately.