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When a friend or an acquaintance sees you or visits you and asks you to gift him or her a particular item you are putting on or in your house, what do you do?
Note that this item could be a bracelet, cap, clothes, shoes, handbag, sunglass, wristwatch, hat, necklace, bangle, phone, or car.
I meet people who tell me to gift them stuff I’m wearing and they are trying to emotionally blackmail me into giving it to them. I often look at them in a way that make them question themselves. I give them the “are you sure you are normal” look.
Some people will tell you it’s time you gifted them your phone. The not too pushy ones will tell you how they will inherit your phone when you buy a new one and they mean every word of it. They will continue to remind you whenever they see you or call you just to remind you.
Case in point: A security man in a place I frequent, saw me in my new sneakers and after admiring it, he told me to sow the new sneakers in his life as a seed. Some people play too much, I thought to myself.
I smiled and went my way. He still reminded me on my way out that same day and I smiled yet again.
He called me that night to tell me he would be expecting the sneakers the next day and I told him to stop that joke. He called the next morning and I rejected his call. He sent a text that I should sow a seed in his life with the sneakers and GOD will bless me abundantly.
Long story short, I got really irritated by the unnecessary pressure and told him “NO! Its never going to happen”. I bought myself that expensive sneakers because I like it, not because I want to give it out. Well, since that encounter, he sees me and throws his face away, but do I care? No!
How people think they can blackmail one into parting with their items is appalling. How did we get here as a people? Some will see your shoe or handbag and tell you they like it, you should gift them just like that and they are not joking.
Unfortunately, some people against their wish fall victims of such manipulation. I have seen them do it to people around me who complained bitterly afterwards.
The holy book calls this behaviour, ‘the spirit of covetousness’. According to Webster’s dictionary, covetousness is “greed, acquisitive, grasping, showing a strong desire especially for material possessions.”
This is pure greed and it is not something I want to be associated with. Most times, this habit is not formed because of a sincere need but obvious greed and display of “I am a smart person”.
I’m easily irritated when people do that to me or to others. I have never done it to any human and never will. People must stop this manipulative begging and giving people who refused to fall for their emotional blackmail attitude when they stand their grounds and refuse to give in to our demands.
As a kind person, do not easily get guilt tripped into going out of your way to please covetous people. You need to stand your ground most times to checkmate your kind heart. Covetous people are manipulative.
You must guard against subconsciously coveting. It’s not that you don’t want your neighbors, friends or relations to have what they have, you just feel like you should have it too. So, you start to compare. You forget easily that these people have their own struggles, stories of hardship and triumph. Why expect to be in the same place with them?
You need to be content with what you have and see the blessings of God rest upon your life instead of comparing and believing you are not measuring up. Instead, be happy for other people and challenge yourself to do better.
Subconsciously coveting what other people have can easily lead to other dangerous behaviors which may include theft, idolatry, envy, unhealthy competition etc. Some might even kill just to covet other people’s properties. So, avoid situations or company you know tempts you to be covetous.
Always genuinely rejoice with people when they are succeeding or successful. When you visit friends, co-workers, or family members, pay more attention to their mood, expression, and conversation. Pay more attention to people themselves rather than to their material possessions. Stop giving more attention to their houses, wardrobes, cars, gadgets and material things. This is how to keep thoughts of lack and desire from sneaking in and distracting you.
Covetousness and jealousy can be very sneaky. It is always better to be more concerned with giving than receiving. Give more frequently and freely, so as to kill the roots of greed before it grows in your life. You shouldn’t be a covetous person.
RE: WHAT IT WILL TAKE FOR ME TO BE A FULL TIME HOUSEWIFE
I think every responsible man should run away from any woman who aspires to be a full time house wife.
-Evans, Benin.
I wish more women open their eyes to the opportunities that abound rather than just hiding behind marriage to be lazy. You are one smart woman, I always look forward to Saturday Sun because of you. Good job.
-Babatunde, Lagos
