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We live in an inter-independent world. No man is an island; you can never be totally independent, no matter how self-sufficient you are in all things. You have to depend on people to survive. You have to relate with people, you must relate with people you like and those you really don’t like. That’s the reality of life.
The world stands and falls on relationships. When relationships are cordial between people and communities, peace reigns; when relationships go sour, crisis ensues. If you want to make progress in life, I admonish you to nurture your relationships with your relatives, friends, neighbours, colleagues, business associates, etc.
It is important to cultivate good relationships, if you want to have it smooth sailing in the turbulent waters of life. You will have to manage many relationships, some very complex and irritating, yet you must find a way to deal with them to get by.
However, not all relationships are worth keeping. When a relationship becomes counter-productive, you have no choice but to terminate it. In doing so, be as cordial as you can and never close the door of reconciliation because you never can tell, your enemy today may be your best friend tomorrow and vice versa.
Besides, politicians would tell you that there are no permanent enemies, only permanent interests exist. Also, know this for a fact, not all relationships are good for all eternity. Some relationships are only good for a season. If you attempt to keep them for too long, they become unprofitable. For instance, if you have a friend who suddenly joins a bad gang, you can freeze the relationship, if you are unable to talk them out of it. Rather than abandon them altogether, you should continue praying for them to repent.
When you quit any type of relationship for whatever reason, it is wise to leave room for reconciliation because people change and circumstances do change. Above all, time is a healer of wounds. Never close doors of relationships, no matter what. There are sworn enemies you may need for special assignments, if they have the perfect qualities you cannot readily find elsewhere. This is why you must never fight to the finish in your dealings with human beings.
Managing relationships even within families can be very challenging. We all have our fair share of difficult relatives, parents, children, brothers and sisters. There are difficult husbands and wives. Some business partners are enemies based on of badly managed relationships that cannot be redeemed because of total breakdown of love or trust, especially if both parties in a dispute are unable to forgive each other. A brief period of separation can help cool tempers and ultimately pave the way for reconciliation.
In cases where a relationship cannot be saved from total disintegration, amicable settlement can still be worked out to engender peaceful disengagement. Of course, no parting of ways is sweet. Every separation leaves a bitter taste in the mouth, but it is sometimes the only realistic option. Again, don’t allow things to get out of hand before you act. Save a relationship that is redeemable but promptly end those that are not worth the effort to minimise the pain.
On the flipside, most of us climb the success ladder because of good relationships with others. It is unconceivable that you can get to the top in life without help from others. No matter how gifted you are, you must rely on people to get you to your expected end.
Interpersonal skill is of vital importance for anyone in a position of leadership. No leader can succeed without good associates. How do you keep associates? Through effective relationship management. Only good leaders of men succeed with men and women! Many businesses fail because those at the top don’t know how to manage the people they lead. Many marriages crash because the leaders, husbands and wives, don’t know how to manage relationships.
Every relationship must go through the crucible of fire. Conflicts are inevitable in all relationships; there will always be several points of crisis in all relationships. It takes a lot of tact, skill and maturity to navigate relationships through those minefields of troubles. A crisis-free relationship is not a possibility. I stand corrected that there’s no way you will get involved with someone without moments of disagreement.
In fact, to get along in any relationship, you will have to disagree to agree. Give and take is the standard rule of the game. If you cannot give in you will not succeed in any relationship. There are times when you will have to make difficult compromises to get a relationship going.
If you must have your way always, you cannot handle a relationship. You will fail because nobody wins an argument all the time. You cannot always have your way. If you do, then you don’t need anyone.
Again, not every relationship is a happy one. Not all relationships pay you a good dividend. There are folks you keep because you have no choice. There is a black sheep in every family. What do you do? You tolerate them. They are your long-time friend, relatives or neighbours, but they are nuts you cannot deny, so you get along with them anyhow. That’s life.
Weekend Spice: It is not enough to have a good mind, the main thing is to use it well – Rene Descartes
Ok folks, do have a nice weekend. Stay motivated.
•Ayodeji is an author, rights activist, pastor and life coach. He can be reached on 09059243004 (SMS and WhatsApp only)
