Treat your woman the way you want to be treated

I have been bombarded with messages from men protesting my articles. For weeks, some of these men have resorted to insults, threats and abuses just to register their displeasure. They claim I am a man hater.

Some of them have wished me eternal single hood, they say I would end up an old maid with the way I am going. Others have threatened me with hell fire for daring to say the things that women have been whispering among themselves for years but lack the courage to voice it. Among them was a pastor who suggested that I should go for deliverance because I am an agent of Satan sent to destroy marriages.

But in all these things, I am not moved. What I find amusing about these messages is the way these men are quick to hurl insults but get lost in the message being passed across to them. They are so comfortable living their lives undisturbed that anything which rattles their world is attacked ferociously.

You men need to stop lying to yourselves. You know the bad things you do. You know where you go and the people you hang out with but stop your women from doing the same. You know the games you play with your women and how you are hurting them. So stop getting defensive and change for the better. 

Below is an interesting conversation I had with one of my readers. Before you call women names, make sure your hands are clean too otherwise you are a noisy hypocrite who can’t take the same things you dish out to women. Enjoy.

Lover Boy: “Kate, I love my girl but she’s always making me beat her.”

Kate: “Wow, you hit her, why?”

Lover Boy: “She’s always flirting with other guys even in my presence.”

Kate: “But that’s not reason enough to beat her. What happened to walking away?”

Lover Boy: “You don’t know how it feels for a man to see his woman smiling at other guys.”

Kate: “Do you want her to frown at everyone because she’s with you?”

Lover Boy: “She’s my woman. I own her. We are getting married soon. We have been dating for six years now.”

Kate: “You have been dating this girl for six years now and you are still telling me you are getting married soon, are you Methuselah?”

Lover Boy: “I am still studying her. These things take time you know. A man must test his future wife with many things before he finally marries her.”

Kate: “Is she the only one you are studying or you have a harem of women you are testing too?”

Lover Boy: “A man has to be careful these days you know. One can’t put all his eggs in one basket when it comes to women and marriage. They can disappoint you at any time.”

Kate: “So why are you now angry with her for not putting all her eggs in your basket of marriage proposal only? You are both playing the same game.”

Lover Boy: “I know you will support her. Is it no longer you?”

Kate: “I am not supporting anybody here. I am trying to understand why you think it is right for you to keep stringing along many girls and get angry when your girl does the same thing.”

Lover Boy: “It’s because am a man. A man is entitled to many women as long as he can take care of them. But any woman who does that is a cheap whore.”

Kate: “But you are also a whore because you keep inserting and removing from different women’s oil rigs.”

Lover Boy: “You are provoking me with this your talk. I came to you for advice but it seems you are just like my girl.”

Kate: “I am nothing like your girl. She’s just following your footsteps. If you want someone who won’t lie to you, stop lying to the person.”

Lover Boy: “It doesn’t work with women. Women love being lied to. They prefer bad boys, forget all that talk about wanting a God-fearing man. Girls love bad boys who hurt them.”

Kate: “You are generalising now. How many girls have you dated to come to that conclusion? Have you been with all the women in the world to know they love bad boys who hurt them?”

Lover Boy: “I know because that’s what my friends say. I have also seen girls break the hearts of good boys for bad boys.”

Kate: “How many cases have you witnessed? You don’t live your life based on such blanket beliefs.”

Lover Boy: “You are not helping me. What should I do to make sure my girl’s eyes remain on me alone?”

Kate: “Treat her the way you want to be treated.”

Lover Boy: “Is that all you have to say?”

Kate: “What hurts you more is the fact that she smiles at other men or the possibility that she might leave you soon for wasting her time for six years?”

Lover Boy: “You better talk to her before I do something stupid. I will send you her number.”

Kate: “I will tell her to summon the courage to leave your sorry arse.”

Lover Boy: “Don’t try that. I won’t forgive you if you do.”

Kate: “I don’t need your forgiveness. I have to save a girl’s life before you kill her out of jealousy and obsession.”

Lover Boy: “I won’t kill her. Little beatings don’t kill. They help to reset her brain. How many women have died from being beaten by their men?”

Kate: “Okay then, let me get two guys to beat you too whenever you wink at other women and bring them home for quickies. That way, you both will be even.”

Lover Boy: “You are wicked. There’s nothing wrong with a man testing the waters before marriage.”

Kate: “The same way there’s nothing wrong with a woman testing different rods before marriage.”

Lover Boy: “But she’s a woman, she’s not supposed to be sleeping around.”

Kate: “Says who? You better get your acts together and decide who you want for yourself before you get old studying people’s children because of marriage.”

Lover Boy: “Thanks for nothing. You just spoilt my day.”

Kate: “You are welcome my friend.”

Lover Boy: “I am not your friend if you can’t talk to my girl to stop provoking me.”

Kate: “I am just being realistic. Treat your woman the way you want to be treated. It’s not that hard. And stop whining, you might have a heart attack.”

RE: Can we legaliSe cheating in marriage?

Kate, your article today, Holy Saturday was the most dangerous marriage threat. It serves as an opening for women who have been waiting for opportunity to let loose. I don’t know why you choose to publish such today of all days. It is not every man that cheats on his wife. Infidelity is not that bad. Our mothers who lived longer and happier with their husbands understood the nature of man and kept to that. But new generation wives want to be ahead in everything and want to compete with their man hence failure has remained their reward. Please allow sleeping dogs lie.
– Edward

I think it is a sin to expect a man or woman to be with one partner all their life and this is why they cheat. Legalising cheating would be impossible because of hurting the family and bringing home diseases. On the other hand, cheating can help save some marriages but some people over indulge in it. But I agree with you that variety is the spice of life. – Chinwe

Kate or whatever you call yourself, I think you have gone bunkers and you are out to ruin many homes with your idiotic articles. Better go get married and try the rubbish you wrote.
– Peter

Please bear in mind that African tradition allows men to marry as many women as they desire. Therefore, preaching that women should compete with their husbands will create disharmony in many homes. I agree that both men and women should endeavour to respect their marital vows. – Chris

Kate, what an intriguing write up! But legalising cheating in marriages is akin to legalising evil in the society. I know that not all men and women cheat. Keep up the good work. –  Uzo

If cheating is legalszed in marriages, there will be serious trouble and many illegitimate children. Sodom and Gomorrah will be unleashed on this country. – Tunde

Dear Kate, It is unfortunate that you are encouraging women to compete with their husbands by cheating back. You are not doing them any good. If these women are caught by their husbands, they will drive them away. No legalisation can save such women who are caught cheating on their husbands.  – Godwin