Time to protect the other woman

It has become very important to discuss this controversial issue, which concerns married men who choose to keep ‘other women’ in their lives for whatever reason. The moment a man separates, divorces, is widowed or even becomes polygamous by choice, he should protect the other woman. Let me say it again, the other woman who provides a man emotional comfort, peace of mind and companionship deserves to be protected.

Within one month, two frontline female legal practitioners are crying wolf because the same men who they consoled in their teary days shaved their hair at their back when it mattered the most. While many men are alive, they refuse to do the needful by protecting the ‘other woman’ and her children. Yes, in some cultures, the children are protected but not their mothers.

First and foremost, to the he glory of God, I am not a product of the ‘other woman’ however you look at me. Neither am I a product of side-chick, never Ever! But that does not mean that people who came into the world through such creations should not have a place in life; or that the women who brought them in should be thrown to the gutters. No.

Again, I am also not an advocate of polygamy, waywardness or careless pregnancies that bring forth children. I am not in support of being a mistress to a rich and be producing babies without legal marriage. No.

But then, these ‘other women syndrome’ is as old as marriage itself. It has grown legs like an octopus and not about to stop. As far as men will always tell how differently, they are sexually wired; polygamy, side-chick and everything to do with male and female organ will not stop.

Instead, it is how to map out modalities for both sides for peace to reign. Men will always be men, while women will also respond positively to their sexual needs. Between the hidden organs of the legs, there is something to it that meets the eyes.

Now, having ‘other women’ in their life is a very complex social reality which the society will not pretend that it happens.

In several cases, there are times the first ever woman becomes the side chick. A man could get entangled with a woman, probably dating, co-habiting, and being together. Next, they discover the lady has been put in a family way without legal marriage. The man would say he is not ready. When he finally consummates a legal union; the first woman and her baby becomes the ‘other woman.’ while the second woman becomes the legal wife. This issue is very complicating, but thrives regularly, yet somehow overlooked and bury in hypocrisy.

Now, truth is that the ‘other woman’ would have provided peace, intimacy, emotional stability, yet, she is often left vulnerable when life takes its unpredicted turns.

Yes, except for Muslim brothers, truth is that most men do not prepare to go into a second marriage just like that. Some are cajoled into it. When the wives of their youth began to take them for granted; when the children becomes bigger priority above the husbands, when love dries up completely and touching becomes irritating; to be replaced by bitterness, acrimony etc, a man may begin to think otherwise which is not the solution and not advisable.

It is also real, that some women marry because a certain man has dangled a marriage offer before them; or that he is the most successful among her toasters, she gives in, not necessarily that she loves him in sickness and health, till death do them part. So they would manage the man for a while and carefully toss them aside while they are in the man’s house.  Such women like the idea of being married, the security that marriage provides, the name changing marriage brings, the new home, yet they are not into the man. They still have their eyes somewhere outside their matrimonial home.