The Super Eagles’ analysts

Victoria Ngozi Ikeano

I should state straightway that I am neither a football fanatic nor I a fan as such but just an observer. My own definition a fanatic is one who when his favourite team loses becomes very depressed such that he, for example, refuses to eat, talk to his friends/relations, could do something terrible to anyone who annoys him in the least and in extreme cases could commit suicide.

A fan to me, is someone who could give up or sacrifice anything to see (watch) his favourite team play in the stadium or television while soccer observers like me are those who though may secretly wish that a particular team wins, are nonetheless, apathetic as to which emerges victorious; whether Team A wins or loses does not affect us emotionally or physically. We are onlookers who are just interested in the game. And in this period of Russia 2018 when all around you are talking and watching football from noon to midnight (with repeats), one cannot but be infected by this soccer craze and be interested too.

Now I have since learnt that when our analysts – both professional and armchair analysts – are telling us confidently that a Nigerian team will win their match, that is a sure signal that the opposite will happen. One can quote countless examples of when this has occurred but let us keep to the current global event. Before the Super Eagles team jetted out to Russia, Nigerian sports writers and armchair analysts had told us that Nigeria can lift the trophy. Our number one citizen at a farewell reception for them had charged them to go and bring the cup to Nigeria; the team’s captain had concurred by promising that they will make the nation very proud in Russia. What is more, even before they stepped into the field, they had won an unofficial trophy, namely the team with the best (designed) kit in the tournament; they were also crowned as the team with the best outfit of the 32 participating countries, on arrival in Russia with their designer dress native kaftan and sokoto with a hat to match. These ‘awards’ given by no less a medium than the international press and officials apparently gave our Super Eagles a boost and added to their confidence.

Then the analysts bombarded us with their ‘unassailable’ statistics, viz, the Nigerian Super Eagles are one of the highest scoring teams in Russia as per their qualification goals; they qualified for Russia 2018 even before their final match; they are the youngest team of all 32 teams at the global fiesta with an average age of about 27 years!

They were expected to bamboozle their opponents with youthful energy. We were told that the defeats they suffered during the international, warm-up friendly matches were just a decoy meant to deceive opponents in our group. On the eve and day of the match between Nigeria and Croatia, our analysts told us that the Eagles were set to start on a flying note.

Calls were put to the Eagles camp in Russia and the officials told us that everything was in order as the boys were set to deliver, we were told that Coach Rohr, a ‘super tactician’ had mapped out a perfect strategy to disable the two Croatian artists – Modric and Rakitic. The question was not whether we shall win but by how many goals. One TV anchor (armchair analyst), a lady, said she was not expecting a slim lone goal win but a 5-0 score line in favour of Nigeria.

As Argentina had played a 1-1 draw with Iceland, the headlines boldly announced, “Nigeria set to top group as Argentina held to draw”; furthermore, the Nigerian professional and armchair analysts said that Africa would register its first goal of the tournament with the Eagles’ match, both Egypt and Morocco not having scored any goals in their earlier games; the prediction being that Super Eagles would beat Croatia. At the end of the first half, Nigeria was one goal down but the analysts said that despite this, were both teams to be ranked on points, the Super Eagles had more points. We were told that the Croatian goal was an own goal and that things would definitely change in the second half because we have a ‘superb tactician’ in chief coach (or is it technical adviser) Gerot Rohr.

To cut a long story short, we lost that match by two goals to nil, thus making the Super Eagles the first African team to concede as many as two goals in the championship so far, (as at the time I am writing this piece, Monday afternoon). Unlike in other climes where officials of defeated teams usually shower praises on their conquerors, Nigerians generally refused to give any credit to Croatia. They averred that the Super Eagles defeat was due more to errors by our defenders.

Then the Nigerian analysts changed gear. They blamed the Nigerian coach whom they had hitherto praised to high heavens as a ‘master tactician’ for the loss, saying that he played an ‘unNigerian’ system that is not familiar to Nigerian players, regretting that the lads were made ‘to play out of their normal positions’. But the boys are professionals and virtually all of them play abroad. And like professionals they are expected to adapt to whatever systems that obtains in those other foreign leagues where they ply their football trade.

However, Coach Rohr acting like a typical Nigerian as relayed by newspaper headlines, boasted, “We will beat Iceland, Argentina to qualify”. Now, on my honour, I shall go on recess for two weeks if that prediction comes true!

Ikeano writes via [email protected]