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Met on October 2, married on October 2. And October 2 is their birthday!
From Stanley Uzoaru, Owerri
Chief Nicholas Ishiuba Ojinnaka is the Eze- Elect of Ndegwu community in Owerri West Local Government Area of Imo State. A retiree, he served in different capacities in the insurance industry, including at the Guinea Insurance Plc where he held sway as the CEO and Managing Director.
He has been married to his lovely wife, Lady Harrieta, for 40 years. Interestingly, the lovebirds share same birthday – October 2. Coincidentally, they also met on October 2 before eventually getting married also on October 2 1985.
In this interview with Saturday Sun, Chief Nicholas Ojinnaka and Lady Harrieta Ojinnaka share their love story and marital journey.
Tell us how this lovely journey of your marriage began
Chief Nicholas: In my youthful age, I used to live six months in Lagos while my mother lives six months in the village. Once it’s June, after the planting season, I would take her to go and rest in Lagos. So one of these days, I was bringing her back to the village on October 1, being a public holiday. The next day, October 2, I was returning to Lagos. I was sitting in the middle of the Young Shall Grow bus, and the conductor came there to tell me rudely to come to the front seat, when the bus was already in motion. He told me the lady in front was afraid of sitting beside the driver. So I followed the conductor without any argument. There, I found a very beautiful girl, elegantly dressed. When the bus from Owerri got to my hometown, she looked through the window and said she liked this place, not knowing it’s my place.
Lady Harrieta: (cuts in)… Before we even got to that place precisely at Irete, I told him I like this place, the environment and everything about it .
Chief Nicholas:She has already fallen in love with my place without her knowing it. When we got to Benin, the conductor asked everybody to come down, that they wanted to lock the vehicle. But I didn’t want to eat because of stomach upset. So I bought two cans of Coke and gave her one. There was a pen I bought. Again, she said she liked it and I gave it to her and we continued our journey. When we got to our destination, she was supposed to come down before me, but she was reluctant. So I came down and arranged with her to meet me at same spot by 10 am, being a Saturday. When we finally left each other, I forgot to keep that appointment but she came. I didn’t know that a furniture maker who I had earlier given a job to make my furniture was listening to our conversation when I was given her the appointment. He told me that she came when I visited that place again the next Saturday. He said she came and waited patiently till 3 pm. I asked him if she gave him her address, and he said yes. I went to their house with the address, not minding what the parents would say at that young age, I was 25 and she was 21 by then. Before I got there, she had already told the elder brother who is late now who had same name with me, Nick. I don’t know if that was why she transferred the love she had for the elder brother to me.
So, madam, was that your experience also, or do you have something to add?
Lady Harrieta: Yes it’s true but I would like to add that the day we met that he’s talking about was my birthday as well as his birthday also.
Chief Nicholas: When I took my mother home, I was coming back from Owerri to Lagos not knowing it was her birthday and mine as well on October 2. And we didn’t know. We had our courtship for three years before finally getting married again on our birthday on October 2 1985.
Was there any objections from your wife’s family when you proposed to her?
Chief Nicholas: Not at all.
Any objection from his family, madam?
Lady Harrieta: No. I have always prayed that whenever I want to get married, to have love and support from my husband’s family, so there was no objection and I was very happy.
When you were wooing her, did she gave you any tough time, as most women would try to do some show-off?
Chief Nicholas: The relationship has always been smooth, I’ve always progressed from one step after the other.
Lady Harrieta: No, for me there was no show-off because I’ve always believed in what the Bible says that if you don’t have a husband, go and get your own. My father was a retiree. I needed somebody who would train me and when I saw him, I saw his smartness and people were saying good things about him and I didn’t want to lose him. So the first day I went to his house, I asked him what was I to him, because I didn’t want a boyfriend -girlfriend thing. I wanted a serious relationship and his response was that time would tell.
Tell us sir what you told her exactly that made her to accept you
Chief Nicholas: We have always followed our minds. What I can tell you is that it was love at first sight. Let me give you a little history. Then there was nothing compelling me to marry. I was about 26 then, and she was 21. So as the first son, my mother was always forcing me to marry and my sisters were already searching for a wife for me before my mother eventually got somebody for me to marry. She sent for me, and I decided to go and answer her on Saturday. But before then on Thursday, I had a dream where we used to drink water in our office.
In my dream, I opened the tap to drink water but saw myself drinking water flushed from the toilet. I woke up and was nearly vomiting. I took a minute to pray. I had another dream the next day, Friday. After dressing up, I found myself rolling in the mud. I later travelled that Saturday as I had proposed. I got home at about 4 pm and my father was surprised to see me because I did not tell him that I was coming home. But I later told him why I came back, I told him that I wanted to go and see the woman my mother found for me. But after narrating the two dreams I had to him, he said I couldn’t go there again to marry. He now asked me, there was a time you came back with one girl, is she married? I said no and he asked me to go and bring her. I left with the night bus same day back to Lagos to bring her. I went to their house and met her father. I told him my father asked me to bring Harrieta. He did not object. I took her to my house for the first time in Lagos where she passed the night before taking her to the village to see my father the next day. When my father saw her, he called his palm wine tapper to get him some palm wine. When he brought it, he gave it to her to taste. After tasting it, he told her, you’re officially married to my son. If you’re engaged with any other person, go and dissolve it.
Lady Harrieta: He was confused as at that time but his mind was still where I was. His sister invited him to her house but when he left there, he did not tell his sister that he was leaving. Even after seeing the lady her sister brought for him, he just left without talking to them. So then she swore she would not come in between us again.
What do you love most about your wife?
Chief Nicholas: She doesn’t get angry for too long. She doesn’t bear grudges. She apologises when we have issues no matter who is at fault and that has kept us going.
And you madam, what do you love most about him?
Lady Harrieta: He has a simple heart, he forgives easily. He’s like a brother and I’ve come to respect him for that.
No marriage is rosy. Could you tell us at least one moment she made you angry?
Chief Nicholas: We’ve always been good to each other.
Lady Harrieta: At this stage of marriage, you’re no longer boyfriends and girlfriends. Before, when girls encroach to the goal post, I get angry. But at this stage of the marriage now, I have liberated myself.
How about now? Do they still perch around him?
Lady Harrieta: Yes, as a successful man, women would always perch around him, but with his age and advancement in life, he knows what to do.
What is his best food?
Lady Harrieta: He loves this Anambra food, Ofe Olugbu and okra soup and Ogbono with pounded yam but his best food remains catfish soup with okra.
Chief, what’s her best food?
Chief Nicholas: She enjoys food a lot but her best food is rice.
You will agree with me that there are so many broken homes today resulting from bad marriage. Madam, I want you to advise the spinsters who intend to get married soon.
Lady Harrieta: You have to be a godly woman, communicate well with your husband and be prayerful. Togetherness is very important. Make sure you always sleep where your husband sleeps even though you have one room. So have effective communication, a prayerful life and always be yourself. Respect him even when you don’t agree with his opinion. And importantly, make sure you make an impact in the marriage. I made sure I clean the house, do school runs and you would not have any regrets.
Sir, what’s your advice for bachelors out there who want a successful home like yours?
Chief Nicholas: They should just marry their friend. Tribulations may come, but they should just persevere and work hard. There is no good marriage without faults. Love cannot see everything through. I don’t believe that. Love can’t pay school fees, love can’t provide food. They must work hard together. Love is not enough to hold a marriage. Hunger alone can separate a marriage.
Do you agree with him madam? Money and marriage, do they make a good mix?
Lady Harrieta: Yes money, to some extent, has a great influence in marriage. The children will respect you if you have money.
How does it feel to be a grandfather?
Chief Nicholas: It’s normal when you do what you’re supposed to do. It’s not an excitement but it feels great seeing your grandchildren in your lifetime.
Madam, how does it feel having your grandchildren around you?
Lady Harrieta: It’s one of the best things in marriage. It’s exciting to me. You will not feel lonely. I remember when my son had twins. I was very happy because in my lineage we don’t have twins.
Your husband is on the verge of becoming a king. Does that move you?
Lady Harrieta: To be honest with you, at first we didn’t want it. But when the elders of the community insisted, we had no choice and especially when the oldest man in the community handed him the minutes book of the elders in council and died three days later, my husband wept and knew that the community had been handed over to him. It’s not easy because it’s financially demanding like he has been doing already.
