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Because I do not hope to turn again
Because I do not hope
Because I do not hope to turn
Desiring this man’s gift and that man’s scope
I no longer strive to strive towards such things
Why should the aged eagle stretch it wings
Why should I mourn my death
The vanished power of this unusual life.
Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death
Pray for us now, and at the hour of our death
A poem by T. S Eliot on Suicide 1863
Suicide occurs in almost all societies, but some far more than others, and in some areas more than others. Two things seem to explain the differences.
One is prosperity or lack of it. Suicide is a phenomenon of the prosperous countries, prosperous regions, even within cities, prosperous neighbourhoods – while in many poor lands suicide is so rare that the word, and the concept, are barely understood.
Suicide does not occur when the outside world makes it a struggle for us to keep alive. It appears when the world leaves us alone with our consciousness.
The other factor is society’s attitude to suicide – including the effect of religion and moral belief. Decline in religious factor of suicide is hard to separate from the impact of prosperity. The most traditionally Christian countries are also among the most rural and most poor.
In any case, when suicide rate seems to rise, as attitudes change, it may only mean that suicide is more openly admitted. But the importance of society’s attitude is more clearly seen when the story goes the other way.
In imperial Rome, and modern Japan, suicide declined as prosperity rose, because an ancient code that valued suicide was broken.
Suicide is a product of social isolation – of loneliness and the sense of uselessness. Single people are more likely to kill themselves than married; widowed than single, and divorced than widowed.
The products of broken homes are more likely to kill themselves than the products of happy homes, and those with no religious conviction than those who have.
Hence suicide accompanies modern prosperity. The familiar features of industrial society – the geographical and social mobility, the separation of young and aging adults from the family, the pressure to achieve, the lack of role for those who can no longer work (where school is compulsory, grandparents are no longer needed to look after the children) – all these, and the other features, that they create, such as the failure rate of modern marriages, leave individuals and even family units struggling to persuade themselves that they have a place that they belong to, and value to others.
So suicide rates reach their highest in the managerial, and professional classes, in cities and in furnished rooms. And, despite the general link to prosperity, from one month and year to another, the suicide rate keeps in step with the level of unemployment.
Suicide is a hopeless admission of defeat, it happens when an isolated person cracks under the strain of his isolation, and it happens mostly to those who have already shown signs of their defeat, in psychic depression and perhaps in alcoholism. It is only rarely a dramatic gesture, and very rarely a rational preference to a powerful death from incurable disease.
Successful suicide is a male achievement. Today and historically, men are twice as likely to kill themselves as women are.
In some societies such as imperial China, suicide among the old was rare, because the old were revered. But in most cultures the likelihood of suicide grows with age.
Suicide is rare in children. Then, in the 15 to 24 age group, it suddenly leaps to prominence, as the fourth main cause of death. But this is because there is not much else – except road accidents that they often die from.
The exception is among students, where the suicide rate is genuinely high. Thereafter, the rate rises steadily, reaching a peak in men in the 75 to 84 years age group. In women, the peak is earlier, in middle age. Men over 65 have three times the suicide rate of male teenagers.
There are 10 times more attempted suicide than suicides, and most are not trying to kill themselves. Suicide is typical of men and of the old. Attempted suicide is typical of women, especially young women. Of every four men who try suicide, three kill themselves, but of every four women only one goes through with it.
Research by Cleveland Clinic Institution shows that of course, some genuinely wish to commit suicide, and fail – just as others wish only to attempt suicide, and unhappily succeed. But, in general, those who attempt suicide and live, have different motives from those who kill themselves.
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Suicide happens among those who are socially isolated, attempted suicide among those who are socially, in fact, emotionally, involved. Suicide is a way of ending your pain for yourself.
Many who genuinely think of suicide are deterred by the thought of the pain and grief, they will leave behind. Attempted suicide is a way of trying to call on those emotional ties, a cry for help; it is an appeal for help or a blackmail note for it.
But never ignore someone who talks of suicide. Talking of it does not mean he only wants to attempt it. Talking of it need not be a plea for sympathy.
Two thirds of those who kill themselves have told someone before hand, what they intend to do, and those who have tried once are not safe from trying again and succeeding.
Methods of committing suicide vary between countries, depending on habit and availability in Nigeria.
Hanging with a rope in Nigeria has begun to give way to self-asphyxiation with domestic gas, or jumping from overhead bridges, for instance Lagos bridges or jumping from a high rise building, to overdose with drugs like analgesics, narcotics, non-domestic gas, other poisons like sinepress, fire arms and explosives and drowning, among others.
The warning sign for suicide unfortunately does not always have clear warning signs. It can happen suddenly, without any indication that something was wrong.
Common warning signs of suicides may include: • Experiencing suicidal thoughts called suicide ideation; talking about suicide wishes to others. • • Making preparation, like a will or writing a note, giving away valued or meaningful possessions, saying goodbye to loved ones, tidying up a living, space and researching and purchasing weapons or harmful substances.
• Reckless, dangerous or risk-taking behavior, without considering the consequences like self harm.
• Withdrawing from loved ones, and social situations.
• Expressing feelings of being a burden or being trapped in a situation without a clear exit.
• Mood changes, anxious, agitated, angry, depressed, or intense emotions.
• A sudden sense of calm after a period of mood changes.
Signs that depression is getting worse, including changes to sleeping patterns, sleeping more or less than usual or not finding joy in things that usually bring on this emotion.
It is difficult to know exactly why someone would consider suicide unless they told you. Even then, there are a lot of things that contribute to the decision that someone might not feel comfortable expressing fully.
Many times suicide happens before any information is shared. Research shows that there are common factors that can lead someone to take their own life. These include:
• A previous history of suicide attempt
• An underlying mental health condition
• An underlying medical condition with painful or disabling symptoms or terminal prognosis.
• Interpersonal trauma, like physical, emotional or sexual abuse or neglect, isolation or bullying.
• Relationship changes – divorce, a breakup or death of a loved one.
• No access to healthcare or medical services.
• Cultural or religious ideals
• Extreme stress.
Lastly while suicide is not genetic, the suicide of a biological loved one does increase your risk of considering suicide yourself.
Always be medically guided.
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