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One reason a man will pull away is because he may have had his heart broken in the past, he may pull back because he worries about being hurt again.
Amaka Nicholas
It can be really confusing when the near perfect man who actually adores and worships the very ground you walk on –– loving, compassionate and affectionate, takes you on dates, his calls wakes you up in the morning and tucks you into bed at night, while his text messages make your afternoon –– all of a sudden begins to avoid you and even ask for a space.
He begins to call and text you less. He complains of being busy, he hardly picks your calls, when he does he promises to call back but he never does for days, weeks or even months. He hardly visits, won’t invite you over to his place.
He tells you he “needs space!”
Why would you claim to love her so much, get her attention and emotions all up and now she is head over heels in love with you, you start to need some space?
This sudden shift in behavior sends her into panic mode, because she is starting to really care about him. When something feels like it’s breaking or slipping away, people naturally want to fix that problem. This is why when a man tells a woman he needs space, she tries to rush in to try and fix things.
Some women even begin to assume that whatever is causing him to need space has to do with her. Did I annoy him with my many stupid questions and insecurity? Does he feel I’m too easy because we had sex the first time he made the move? Is he seeing someone else? Too many questions pop in her head.
Unfortunately, you are not necessarily the cause of him wanting space. When a man tells you he needs space, just remember that you are not the centre of his world. He may be genuinely stressed out; it could be work, family, depression or even financial stress.
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Something could be going on in his world. He is working for longer hours to meet a project deadline, a family member could be ailing, he could have a drama somewhere he is trying to deal with to protect you from getting hurt, he may not in good shape financially. Any of these can wreak havoc on a man’s life. And his best form of dealing with whatever he is going through is to ask for a space and expects you to understand that.
Men and women deal with stress quite differently. While women want to feel closer to the people in their lives when they are feeling stressed out, men may ignore the needs of others, they become more self-centered and distanced so as to get deep into their own space to deal with their problems. If a man needs space, it is not up to you to fill it; give him space. Keep in touch, be supportive but don’t be all up in his face. You should only start to worry when the space he wants is taking too long.
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Another reason men pull away is what happens when he starts a casual date with you, like most men don’t plan on being in a serious relationship, they just love bomb women, show them care and attention, and all of a sudden he starts to feel something way deeper, trying hard to figure out if he’s ready to fully commit.
Most men will pull into their shell so as to figure out what exactly is going on with their emotions. It was supposed to be casual, and you are not even his type, but all of a sudden he cannot get you off his mind. At that point, he’s trying to figure out if his bachelor days are truly over. He may be worried that things are moving too fast. That getting serious with you will affect his independence, so he starts hanging more with his friends than usual just to avoid you.
But trust me, if he’s really into you, he will come around. He’s pulling away to make a comeback
Another reason a man will pull away is because he may have had his heart broken in the past, he may pull back because he worries about being hurt again. It takes most men time to heal of the pain from past relationships. He may not know how to talk to you about his fears and trust issues. Maybe you should open up to him that you are scared of getting hurt, caring more than he does, repeating past mistakes. Tell him, and he may find it easier to share his own fears in return.
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Men also pull away because they are done and ready to move on. This is one reason women hate to consider even when it is glaring that you both are not making any progress. Most men won’t be brave enough to tell you it is over, they would rather ask for an endless space, never reach out to you and expect you to read in-between-the-lines.
It takes two to be in a loving relationship. If he doesn’t see a future with you, it is better your relationship ends on a relatively good note than to wait, holding on alone until it deteriorates into fighting, lying, cheating and finally misery.
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Once his behavior suggests he’s done with you and you are sure that he is moving on, just walk away, don’t beat yourself, you probably didn’t do anything wrong, it wasn’t meant to be, plain and simple.
