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Sir Samuel Chike Chukwunweike Modebe is a native of Obikporo Village in Onitsha, Anambra State, and a Knight of St. Christopher of the Anglican Church. He is an important member of the Modebe family, a prominent and influential dynasty based in Onitsha, The family is recognised as a well-established, wealthy Onitsha family, with the family name immortalised through landmarks like Modebe Memorial Secondary School, Modebe Avenue, among others.
Sir Modebe married on 20th September 1986 to his beautiful wife, Lady Ifeoma Anne Modebe, Nee, Ekpechi. They have been married for 39 years which highlights the profound, positive impact of a healthy and supportive marriage.
Their union is blessed with four children, one of whom is Ndali Modebe, a global humanitarian, media and public relations expert. She’s also a multiple award-winning coach through her Project STEAM initiatives. Their other children include Nnamdi Modebe, an engineer, Otito Modebe and Dr Onyinye Modebe. Sir Modebe had his National Youth Service Corps programme with the Nigerian Police Force after his studies at Adelphi University and New York University. He worked full-time in the Nigerian Immigration Service till his retirement. His lovely wife, Ifeoma is a Professor in the Community Medicine Department, Faculty of Medicine, Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka.
In this interview with Felix Ikem, they shared what has kept their marriage going for nearly four decades.
Tell us how you met before the two of you got married?
Sir Samuel: Well, I met my wife when I returned to Nigeria after my studies abroad. I met her at the University of Nigeria, Enugu Campus library. The moment I saw her, I decided that I would marry her because I liked her. But it was difficult initially because she did not accept my proposal. She didn’t like the red trouser I was putting on that very day, and as a result of that, she could not give me a positive response. Although at that moment, I didn’t know whether she liked me or not, I was determined to go after her and marry her. Then she was in her Year 5 in the university, and I was serving in the Nigerian Immigration Service. So after she graduated and was travelling out of the country, I saw her again at the Murtala Muhammed International Airport, Ikeja Lagos as she was in a queue of passengers travelling to London. Then I was the immigration officer in charge of departure. So when I saw her, I told her to come in front, that was the time of the Muhammadu Buhari and Tunde Idiagbon regime, widely remembered for its attempt to curb social maladjustment through the strict enforcement of discipline and orderliness. So, I had to apologise to other people in the queue, and I announced to them that I had been searching for a wife to marry, that I wanted to marry her. My announcement was greeted with cheers and many of them applauded it and offered their blessings and prayers. So, I took her to where she ate, and when it was time for her to board, we exchanged phone numbers and I waved her goodbye. So, we kept on communicating. When she returned to the country, she called me. By then, I already had a brand new Volkswagen Santana. It was a big car then, and I welcomed her from the airport. Even though I had not perfected my driving skills, I managed to drive her to her place.
Lady Ifeoma: Yes, I remember in my 5th year at the University of Nigeria, Enugu Campus, I was in the library reading. He came with one of his cousins, one Ik Taagbo and they said that they came from Onitsha, that they wanted to see me. Then it was a common thing for people looking for wives to marry. But I was not comfortable seeing him wearing red trousers, and as such, I did not give him the green light at that time after he made his intentions known to me. But after my graduation in 1984, I was travelling to England, so, at the Lagos airport, I was in the queue and the moment I looked up I saw him dressed in an immigration uniform, he shouted that I should come up to the front. In his characteristic manner, he asked the people to pardon him, telling them that he had been looking for a wife to marry, and the people responded with cheers and urged me to move to the front that he could marry me. So immediately he stamped my passport, he took me to the cafeteria. We exchanged contacts and later he escorted me to where I boarded the plane and travelled. We kept communicating, so, when I returned to Nigeria he came to pick me up at the airport with his brand new Santana car. That was how our relationship kicked off, and he announced to his entire Modebe family and friends that he had found a wife to marry. Meanwhile, he visited me frequently where I was doing my youth service in Rivers State. And another one thing about him is he is a domesticated man. He would buy everything he saw along the road for me while visiting – food, fruits and household items. That was the point I made up my mind that yes, he’s the right person for me.
Was there any opposition from anywhere, relatives, friends, concerning your marriage?
Sir Samuel: No, no, no, there was no opposition at all both from my side and from my in-laws. My father was a good man. He did a lot of good things that added value and recognition to our family name. In Onitsha, he was a prominent member of the Zikist Movement (a pressure youth group founded in Nigeria on February 16, 1946, designed to champion the anti-colonial, nationalist ideology of Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe). So my wife’s family was happy to identify with us because we were rich and influential.
Lady Ifeoma: Not at all. The only thing that happened was that my parent said that they would carry out an enquiry about him and his background, which they did and after that they found out that yes, he was an immigration officer working at the Lagos airport and there was no issue about his background. Their family is well known. So at that point, they gave him the green light to commence the marriage rites. At that point, my father sat me down and started educating me on things I should know about being a married woman. He reminded me that in the olden days, people from our area used to send their young girls about to get married to women in Asaba, Delta State for a special training (Ozuzu). He told me the essence of the training was to prepare intending wives for the long-term journey of marriage, and equip them with the necessary knowledge and skills to navigate the complexities of shared life, as well as provide guidance on character, conflict resolution, and the realities of marriage. Luckily for me, I was very close to my father, so he gave me rules of things I must do and things I must not do to sustain my marriage.
What made you decide to go for your wife out of the many ladies available within that period?
Sir Samuel: Yes, there were so many beautiful ladies available then, but I love her physical comportment. I had ladies who are from well-to-do families who used to travel abroad for holidays, but then, I wanted a simple girl as a wife. Fortunately, she was there at that given time that I was desperate to get a wife and I didn’t hesitate to choose her. To the glory of God my marriage to her brought me a deep sense of companionship and harmony.
Madam, what qualities made you choose him above other eligible bachelors or suitors within that period?
Lady Ifeoma: Well, I was impressed by the courage he summoned to come straight and say his mind. He didn’t mince words. He didn’t play hanky-panky. He didn’t play around with words or emotion. Besides, he was tall, educated, handsome and from a noble and respected background. Choosing him as my life partner made us better, stronger, and complete.
How did you propose to her? What exactly did you say to her to make her agree to marry you?
Sir Samuel: Well, I made my intention known to her from day one that I wanted to marry her. Even though she was not willing initially, my body language made her to understand how serious I was because after she returned from London, I visited her in Lagos and also went to Port Harcourt where she was posted for her NYSC with the same message: ‘I so much love you, and I’m ready to marry you.’ In fact, I was following her up and down with my brand new Santana, and by that time, I was enjoying the support of her family members.
What did you say when he proposed? What exactly did he say and what was your reply?
Lady Ifeoma: Well, there was no ceremony or formal proposal. From day one, he made his intention known to me, that he wanted to marry me. And the good thing about both of us was that we were both ready to get married. So when he visited me at Port Harcourt and he repeated that he wanted to marry me, I replied to him “Okay, go and see my parents.”
What do you remember most about your wedding?
Sir Samuel: Our wedding was on 20th September 1986 and the widow of the late Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe, Prof Uche Azikiwe was there. Incidentally, my wife’s father was Zik’s personal physician. The entire popular Modebe family was fully in attendance, as well as my friends and extended relations.
Lady Ifeoma: Oh yes, my wedding was loud. It was big. It happened to be the first wedding in my family. It was filled with immense joy, energy, and a massive support system of friends and both families. The immigration officers who came from Lagos were there in their numbers. There was a lot of white men who came because my husband was working in a sensitive position at the airport and he had good public relations, which attracted many important guests to the wedding. Members of both families were all in attendance. In fact, it was the talk of the town that year.
Could you remember your first misunderstanding in marriage and how you handled it?
Sir Samuel: Yes, there was a particular day she did something against the way I wanted her to do it which resulted in a heated argument, I didn’t touch her, I will never. Even till now, I have never laid my hands on her. It is abnormal for me and an abomination to beat a woman. But, then she reported me to her family members. The issue was promptly resolved amicably, and we continue to live in peace as husband and wife.
Lady Ifeoma: My first misunderstanding with him was when I moved down to his house in Lagos after our wedding, and I was not comfortable with the arrangement of things in the house, so I took it upon myself to arrange things in order and trash some papers I considered rough papers. Surprisingly when he returned from work, he started quarrelling with me that I had trashed the papers he had some importance information on. But I remember the orientation my father gave me. It helped me to manage this situation and move on.
What’s your spouse’s favourite food?
Lady Ifeoma: He loves Nni oka and Okro soup
Sir Samuel: She prefers Nni oka, a special local swallow food prepared from ground mixture of corn and cassava with draw soup.
What do you like most about your spouse?
Sir Samuel: She is well-cultured, well organised, beautiful, a sincere person and she possesses good manners.
Lady Ifeoma: He is straightforward and a spiritual person, honest, hardworking and open-minded.
What advice do you have for a young bachelor who intends to marry?
Sir Samuel: Since the domestic training for young maidens which was obtainable during our own time has been abolished, I suggest that our churches should be serious with their teaching in the marriage course. Again, young boys should look very well before they leap. They should not jump into marriage without proper preparation, like knowing who they are getting married to. More so, they should be economically active either as a trader, craftsman or salary earner.
Madam, what advice do you have for a girl who intends to marry?
Lady Ifeoma: Well, they should know who they are getting married to before going into the marriage. Marriage is not something that you jump into today, and tomorrow you jump out of. Secondly, they should always be patient with their spouse. If things are not good today, they might be better tomorrow. But most importantly, women should know that their marriage certificate is handed over to the wife in the church after signing, which tells you that you are the custodian of the marriage, and you should be prepared for challenges. Therefore, a wife entering into marriage means committing to work through trials such as financial strains, communication gaps, you must embrace a mindset that views challenges as opportunities for growth. That is essential to building a lasting, strong, and God-centred union.
In the light of rampant divorce cases these days, from your own personal experiences, what pieces of advice would you want to give newly married couples on how to make their marriage last long?
Sir Samuel: They should build understanding between them. Know what your spouse wants. Know who she/he is. That is the key for long lasting marriage.
Again, they should learn how to tolerate each other. Tolerance and understanding are also key to a successful marriage.
Lady Ifeoma: Couples should love and understand each other as well as avoid third-party into their marriage.
