“I’m tempted to commit adultery because he doesn’t satisfy me”

Dear Njigirl,

I have been married for eight years and have two little kids. My husband tries very hard to provide for me and our kids. He is a good man with a good heart. However, he doesn’t satisfy me in bed. Our sex life is very mechanical. My husband does not spend time to know what pleases me. 

I am very unhappy because of it. When I talked to a girlfriend of mine, she said that I am lucky that he provides for the family and advised me to seek my gun elsewhere. I feel terrible at the thought of cheating on my husband. I am tempted though because I miss being made love to by a man. What should I do?

ν Maureen

Dear Maureen,

Infidelity is never the answer to the problem you describe. Instead dialogue and education can ease the situation. What do I mean you may ask? Your husband has to be educated on how to please a woman. A woman’s body being so soft and delicate yearns for the man’s hard body to bring it alive. The man uses his hands, his tongue to stroke and navigate the contours of a woman’s body pleasing her in all the sweetest ways, and “touching all the right spots,” as Virgin Airlines pay-off line says in its commercials.” You are indeed missing out on this but he can definitely learn how to give you pleasure.

You must make an appointment with your marriage counselor who may also refer you to a sex therapist. In this session, your man will be shown how to pleasure you through guided but uninhibited movements. He will learn where you are most sensitive so that he can bring you to climax through gentle strokes. Your husband will also learn how to kiss you erotically and even use his tongue all over your body.

Oral sex is can be introduced to you as well. Most women enjoy oral sex and encourage their men to perform this on them. In no time dear Maureen, you will be whimsical, very satisfied and grinning from ear to ear. You do not need to stray outside your marriage to find pleasure. Your husband is quite capable of providing for you financially, emotionally and spiritually. After all he is the head of the household.

Cheers,

ν Dr. NJ