I cannot believe I was so self-absorbed!

Kaycee is not one to speak about such things, so you can imagine how shocked we all were. “Really Kaycee, did you just say that?” Zara asked sarcastically. The thing is Kaycee is a bit of an introvert and generally hardly ever comments on I and the Girls’ Relationships. Kaycee gave Zara a defiant look and I quickly waded in before it became a full-blown war zone after all they were in my House. “Hey Ladies, this is supposed to be fun night, can we please take a chill pill, we have enough on our plate as it is and I do have additional news for you guys. 

Do you remember the short-term Skills Acquisition Scheme I have been pursuing with Lagos State Government since last year? It has been approved and Warien Rose Foundation has been given 30 slots” I said excitedly changing the subject and hoping it will douse the tension. “Damn, you’ve been busy girl. When did this happen?” Jasmine asked, her excitement palpable. “It started a few days ago. I have sent in names of vulnerable women registered with Warien Rose Foundation, I intend to learn ‘Fabric Stoning’ I said, so bring your dresses, aso okes, t-shirts et cetera, et cetera, et cetera,” I said laughing.

The girls were very excited and asked about the other skills to be taught at the Centre. I happily obliged them as this helped to take our minds off the issue on ground. The truth is we have come to recognize the importance of sleepovers even as adults. We had hung out severally for weekends and those were some of the best times I had with my girls. The corona virus global pandemic made it impossible to have our weekend getaway.

You may not have noticed that slumber parties have been replaced by ‘girls’ weekend’ but because of covid 19, we had to restrict it to a night. We started off on a rocky start with Zara and Kaycee’s near fall out but eventually moved past that after I told the Ladies about the short-term skills acquisition workshop. At first it was just the regular catch-up conversations: ‘What’s going on at work? Are you enjoying who you’re seeing at the moment?’ The beauty of these hangouts is that it enables you talk, vent and share your challenges with your friends.

Real friends, not fake, pretentious people, who act like they’ve got your back but cannot wait for an opportunity to stab you in the back. My girls are the best there is; we talk, we fight, we argue but we all got our backs. Gradually our conversation became less guarded and we talked openly about our challenges, concerns, hopes and aspirations. This was the best part of our hangouts. We were not judgemental and the empathy in the atmosphere made it easy to divulge ‘secrets’ hither to untold. I guess this ambiance gave Bola the courage to talk about her struggle with mental health issues while Zara made us understand that behind the façade, she was having hidden challenges at a job we all assumed was perfect. Sleepovers are like being on a really long date with someone and getting to know each other again.

Bola’s admittance of struggling with depression for some time now was heart wrenching. I know many people struggle with this and some have even gone to the extreme and killed themselves in the process. Life can be so complex yet simple. If you have any friends going through this phase please be as supportive as you can possibly be. Bola eventually had a meltdown; her married lover seemed to be spending more time with his wife rather than Bola, his side chick.

I personally saw that as a good thing but sadly it was taking a toll on Bola. She had insomnia and some nights she would have panic attacks. It was affecting her work even though she put up a brave face. We were shocked that she was already on antidepressant pills. What! How did that happen? Right under our noses. You think you know all there is to know about some one and suddenly you realise you don’t! My once brilliant, effervescing, sexy, self-assured friend was becoming a shadow of herself. I cannot believe I was so self-absorbed I didn’t notice.