In marriage, couples can have serious issues that can cause severe frictions in the marital relationship. In some instances, the frequent quarrels can lead to separation, with the spouses moving on – possibly into other relationships. But after sober reflection and particularly with the intervention of friends and family members, the spouses involved, especially if another female has not come in-between the newly separated couple, they could sheath their swords, let go of grievances and get back together. Yes, a great comeback can still happen between spouses who are truly in love, even after hearts have been broken and shattered, hopes dashed, trust betrayed, along with attendant disappointments that happened. For couples who have honest fear of God, can who are truly in love can forgive each other, make a comeback, to rebuild their union. In the aftermath of a break-up, some ex-partners find a way to manage their mixed emotions of grief, distress and relief. When a person is forced to rebuild who they are separate from a partner it is a lot of hard work. In as much as there are so many marital challenges, yet, people also return to their previous romantic partners. They might get back together within a year or separate finally and all parties move on from the bearable to the unbearable cases. There are also some extreme cases where there seems to be no opportunity for the union to make a come-back; yet the man and the woman might remember one or two binding forces and decide to surprise all stakeholders and make a sharp U-turn in agreement and amazement. Just like the case of American Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. They split up in year 2004, dated and married other people, separated from those partners and ultimately re-united in 2021. While this seem to be unusual, the pattern of returning to an ex-partner is actually quite common. It worked for them because love does not stop when a break-up happens.
Some great schools of thoughts have also agreed that once beaten, twice shy and I say to them that one can be beaten and still find a beautiful place of forgiveness, come back and move on. Even as the holy book aptly put it that dry bones shall rise again; it orchestrates to dry relationships that could be resurrected to a sweet savor of life.
Now, knowing that the greatest lesson that all being have to learn in life is that we still have a lot to learn will make the coming back of separated couples or failed relationship much easier. Sweetly put, there is a place of prayer in all reconciliation processes, but the place of character and attitude are equally very important and has its role to play. At times, when most very prayerful people have failed some parties and the trust in them dwindled and vanished, character is the mirror that life can be seen through. Character is the shining armor; it is a shock-absolver that swallows and heals all injuries. Through excellent characters, even divorce cases could come back. Ex-partners might see each other in a new light after time has passed, perhaps because they have, in-fact, each changed, matured, or in other ways has life experiences that make them, now well suited for each other.
There have been cases where marital bliss which should be a relaxing and enjoying phase of life for married couple, with its numerous challenges has turned into sour bitter taste’, while some manage their affairs and share their apartment like flat mates; some throw their dying relationship to Tom, Dick and Harry to feast on. There have been cases where marital issues go on, yet the family still procreates. When Florence and her husband Cyril were about to end their union after several storms; next was heavy loaded pregnancy and Florence said, “I went back to him because I discovered that some other available potentials are not so appealing. In our issue, any day we managed to smile at each other, we will put our differences behind and enjoy the best of the other room when he reaches out. As the approached their Welfare officer to continue their case, the officer said to them “Going by what we have seen, both of you are not ready to separate, you are still very much in love, don’t allow third party to destroy your love for each other.” And finally he said ‘Go home and sin no more.’
Interestingly, when couples realize their mistakes and agree to come back in sincerity, repentance and willingness; all concerned parties should let them be and make their decision. Enobong shared her story on social media platform and asked ladies to be weary of deceitful biological mothers who supports their daughters’ ill-manners against her husband. But Enobong was smart to notice her ex-husband is actually “the one” as she learnt more about him in his absence. My mother was not playing the role of a real mother, rather was more interested in what she was gaining from me. The moment I realized this, luckily my husband showed some signs of coming back for reconciliation, I ran into his warm embrace immediately and it has been teenage romance for us since then because I advised myself better. In this type of situation, no one should force anyone to reconcile with a separating couple, let them make the come back together as their priority, then things would fall into pleasant places for all.
On the other hand, one can be a friend with his partner for years, yet it can take him or her years to realize they were never friends, especially when a challenge or temptation rears its ugly head in-between. The action will tell if both were friends or just pretending and managing each other because as couples, they should manage their affairs together. A school mate of mine, Margaret was one of those who others thought was lucky in marriage because her husband Ambrose was a rich business man. After seven years in their marital journey, there was no cry of a baby. Ambrose saw his condition as a planting and sowing season with his side-chicks while waiting for the harvest season to come rejoicing. His interpretation was normal; that Margaret was responsible for their childlessness; therefore, when a new birthing mother is encountered, definitely, Margaret would be eased out of her matrimonial home while the new wife/mother moves in. And just like a well-organized movie set, the script played out perfectly and Margaret was shown the way out. But as young lovers who met immediately after secondary school, their love was still strong and genuine, even though the devil used child-bearing issue to destabilize their romantic love-at-first-sight pattern. Margaret could not stand the mockery of the new wife and she left the home completely to an unknown destination. Hell was let loose when Ambrose could not find her anywhere. It took them years before Ambrose realized that Margaret his soul mate and wife of his youth relocated to another state. Ambrose was troubled, but needed just one solution. “I want Margaret my soul mate and my child.” It was a bit difficult to marry the two syndromes; the new wife is the biological mother of the baby boy, but she was very ungovernable and troublesome and Ambrose could not contain her. He began to search for his wife with all sincerity with a great come back in his mind. It took time, but was greatly achieved with loud celebration.
In the same vein, barely four days after an elaborate wedding ceremony between a businessman Lawal Ogde and his wife Precious; Lawal caught his wife chatting on her social media with another man, claiming to be a single lady in Abuja, the Federal Capital Territory. Her groom said the marriage is over immediately. This is just four days when both should have been enjoying their honeymoon, yet, suspicious and alleged traces of infidelity have trailed the relationship coming from the woman. Surprisingly, separation between them took place, while his family urged him to file for a divorce case immediately because of the red flag warning to bigger infidelity cases in the near future; but Lawal was hesitant to do away with his young wife who he has soft spot for; instead, he wants to make up with her. Precious who has realized her mistake is also full of regrets and willing to make peace with her newly married husband. Lawal called the shots and took in his wife to the shocking surprise of his family members.
Dearest people of God, separated couples can actually make a great come-back and move on well. Some separations come spiritually, bad conduct between both, but in all, let us give peace a chance.