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No matter how completely finished, how hopelessly ill and how uselessly poor you think you are, you still have a thousand and one reasons to be thankful. Nothing -nobody, no circumstance and no condition- should make you an ingrate. You cannot be alive and not be grateful. Open your being, your eyes and your mind to what I call existential bases for gratitude.
Man cannot not be grateful. Willy nilly. Man owes life a debt of gratitude. That is, until death do them part.
Watching the English Premier League clash between Sunderland and Arsenal, last Saturday, left this writer thinking about how man ought to be permanently grateful. The match served as a reminder also of the Super Eagles of Nigeria experience trying to qualify for the next World Cup. You may be big, strong, reliable but not make it. They may be small, weak, unreliable but make it.
The national football team of Benin Republic who almost cost us ticket to the Mundial are themselves out of the race. But, our Super Eagles, whom we thought were going nowhere, have another golden opportunity called play-off. Against all odds, visitors Arsenal who are top of the league were forced to a draw by Sunderland who were and still are considered underdogs. Whether you are Nigerian or Arsenal, the point being made here is that disappointment notwithstanding there is still reason to be thankful.
In that match, Sunderland who scored first but had to force a draw deep into added time must be thinking they deserved all three points. And, they were playing in their backyard. Arsenal, on the other hand, who are league toppers and who had not conceded in more than six matches prior, must be feeling unlucky not to have got all three points after coming from behind to register two beautiful goals. Alas, life is not a fair judge -like that.
Which is why, the person who thinks they are completely finished because of something that they or someone did or said or wrote should remain grateful to the very end. Results or thinkings or verdicts can change or become insignificant, suddenly. Mistakes that we thought were unforgivable soon turn to stuff to laugh about. Things can become clearer and therefore differently perceived in a nanosecond.
The person who thinks they are hopelessly ill should remain grateful because, one, they knew or heard about people “who died after a brief illness” or who were not ill at all. So, being alive in spite of being critically ill bears hope of possible survival. By the way, what killed those “who died after a brief illness?” And, two, what is the point of spending your last days on earth -if it comes to that- in bitterness and ingratitude?
The person who thinks they are uselessly poor should remain thankful for tomorrow -if nothing else. Of course, even the poorest of the poor have gratitude bases that they must deploy -at their lowest moments. There always is cause or reason for laughter, for smile, even during mourning. The poor, while working and relating and praying to become rich, should be thankful that they have in the meantime escaped the curses of wealth.
Oh, yes! Mostly, the rich have no genuine friends, no genuine rest and no genuine sleep. Constantly, the rich worry about increasing or insulating or sustaining their wealth. Daily, the rich are anxious whether their wife as a widow would not marry their worst enemy or their children waste away the empire.
It is not easy to be rich when you are rich. We are not here talking about the becoming. We are here talking about the aftermath. The rich also cry, the rich sometimes wish they were poor.
Life is not balanced. All that glitters is not gold. Grass is not always greener on the other side. Sometimes -most times really- we cannot exactly know which, between the rain and the sun, bears the blessing.
Therefore, in order not to later regret our reaction, it is best to just be thankful for anything, and everything. Father, thank You for the rainfall. Father, thank You for the sunshine. Father, thank You for everybody, for everything.
Paul writing in 1 Corinthians 3:4-9 (KJV) says something I find profound. “Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers by whom ye believed, even as the Lord gave to every man? I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.”
From the foregoing, no man has the power to determine the outcome of their planting let alone of their watering. Only God. It is not by man’s might nor by his power. It is by God’s Spirit.
So, why kill yourself, dear human being? Do your best, give your best, put in your best, say your best, write your best. Thereafter, whatever is the outcome, simply be thankful and move on. Or, you die worrying -for nothing!
Recently, I was called up as almost always to help in something voluntary. Of course, beyond being my nature to always assist I accepted this assignment largely because one woman involved has been particularly fantastic to BUSH HOUSE NIGERIA and me. I jumped in with my whole being, from day one. Unfortunately, every step of the way was dogged by disappointment, by mediocrity or by outright failure from people who always deliver under the most unbearable pressure.
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Something as routine as a funeral documentary had to be produced about four times! Something you thought you could close your eyes and supervise! Thank you, Mr Peter Akpadiaha, for rushing in from Imo State and working overnight to provide that face-saving rescue at the nick of time! Many thanks too, Messrs Itoro Columba, Aniekeme Finbarr and Daniel Edward, for your roles which tended to alleviate the poverty of performance!
What should you do when people you have hired or paid leave you in a quandary? It is in order to be angry, to keep malice even and to shout. However, I have come to learn that the best reaction is to be thankful. Because it could have been worse: imagine you were them!
For as long as the earth remains, two other things shall never cease. One is disappointment; the other is failure. And, both are not necessarily a function of betrayal, or of lack of capacity, or of poor work ethics. Things just happen when they want to happen.
So, let us be grateful when plans and prayers work out -as well as when they do not. Let us be grateful when friends and spouses stay -as well as when they do not. Let us be grateful when efforts and work pay off -as well as when they do not. Above all, let us be grateful to God and to man -as well as for Satan!
Sssh, without your mother how would you know your father? Sssh, without Satan and his daredevilry, most of us on the side of God would never have appreciated the goodness of God not to talk of declaring eternally for Him. Sssh, be grateful to God for Satan. Knowing about him, hearing and seeing his evil activities just pushes us to love God more and more.
Gratitude is serious business. It helps with blood pressure in ways we may never be able to tell. And, there is far too much that we are not grateful enough for, which we should make up for every nanosecond we find ourselves alive. We should strive to learn to ignore our mind and what we see complete with what we think we know, for that is the only way to remain grateful.
I hear people discussing gratitude within the context of those who have food but cannot eat and those who can eat but have no food. Always, the discussants suggest that those listening to them ought to be grateful that they have food and can eat. It should not be so, because all three groups ought to exercise gratitude per time. The haves who cannot eat should never stop rejoicing that they shall soon bounce back; the lackers should believe, gratefully, that their turn is coming while those who do not belong in either camp should with thanks enjoy their time and chance.
Be grateful that you can go and come as you like, that you can sleep and wake up, that you can use the convenience, because not all can or do. Be grateful that you can reason, that you can run, that you can walk -many can even catwalk; be grateful because an alarming number desperately crave to, to no avail. Be grateful that you are too poor to have fake friends, to have sycophants exploit you; be grateful that you do not currently hold public office which may have caused you either to start being deceitful or to be deceived -as seen all over the place. Be grateful, I say: be grateful!
Be grateful that your time is not now. You need this mindset (of belief and gratitude) not only to fight the battle that life is but also to live on. Give thanks that your time is coming. Pray it like a prayer while working hard.
Be grateful that you are yet neither rich nor powerful, because at least you are for the time being outside the catchment area of troubles endured by those two. Be grateful that you are yet neither president nor billionaire nor governor; chairman, their deputy, lawmaker, judge, minister, commissioner, supervisor; nor anybody nor anything, because now you can sleep well and learn from their mistakes. Be grateful that anybody can now do or say anything to you, because you know a time is coming, when they will kneel in perpetual apology. Be grateful when you are down because you do not know what curses and traps are flying up there from which nature is keeping you.
Be grateful for nothing, Darling: something could have killed you. Be grateful when your team draw: it could have been worse. Only your own death should stop you from showing gratitude: another’s death can be your saving grace. Be stubbornly grateful like that: it is the secret to long life, to joy, and to youthfulness.
Finally, be grateful for every disappointment, for every embarrassment, for every pain. Apart from teaching you so conclusively about life, those three toughen you up in addition to making you into a true coach or mentor. And, be grateful of course for good deeds, for good shocks and for good times. Gratitude as a lifestyle is the one guarantee that your life cannot fail or descend into depression -ever.
God bless Nigeria!
Next week …
Being God must be really difficult
