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There are many jokes around about the year 2020, calling it the year nothing happened because the world almost ground to a standstill. The year was a bad one for millions of businesses and individuals around the world. Even those who were not affected by job losses or lack of income suffered in other ways – there were record levels of depression and even suicides triggered by the forced isolation from the usual support systems. We also witnessed increased levels of violence against women and girls. The year had some unexpected benefits for me. I took advantage of the months we were forced into inactivity to work on projects that did not require me to move around, and I am happy with the what was achieved. It also offered a rare opportunity to pause and reflect. As this rather strange year draws to an end, I would like to share some of my observations, lessons, highs and lows.
• The almighty webinar
2020 was the year we all rose to the challenge of staying connected in our business and professional lives as well as our personal ones. I don’t know what we would have all done without almighty Zoom. It enabled us participate in meetings, seminars, briefings, you name it. I participated in so many Webinars as a Guest Speaker that I lost count. My Media Officer, the indefatigable Funmi Ajala decided to count just for the fun of it, and she listed 42 Webinars! These do not include regular online meetings of organisations I am involved with, these were public events where I had to dress up as if I was going out (being on a Zoom call looking like you just got out of bed, even if you just did is unprofessional) and prepare a decent presentation. I am however grateful that I was able to master this new way of communicating and staying connected, it helped get a lot of work done.
• ‘Where is your Wrapper?’ and The Wrapper Network
This year, I was able to get out my collection of essays, the second volume of Loud Whispers which I called ‘Where is your wrapper?’, named after one of the most popular essays in the book. Published by Farafina Books, Where is your Wrapper? is available in bookstores around the country and on Amazon books. On June 11th 2020 I launched The Wrapper Network, a mentoring, information and business support platform for young women. The network keeps growing and meeting so many vibrant and talented women every day gives me so much joy.
• The spirit of Ubuntu lives on
Ugliness, bitterness, suffering, pain, agony, these are things we are used to feeling, seeing and hearing. There has been plenty of that this year, as always. Yet, this year, when it mattered the most, I also saw a lot of kindness. People reaching out to others during the lockdowns. Online groups mobilizing resources to provide shelter, school fees, food or clothing for total strangers. Irate yet vigilant citizens clamouring for justice in cases of abuse. Whistleblowers saving children from slavery and imprisonment. Even though the demands always far exceed supply, I have been humbled and gladdened at the way people try to look out for others and make sure they get the help they need. The African spirit of ‘Ubuntu’ (I am because you are) is till there, it has not gone extinct, inspite of all the pressures it continues to face.
• The Culture of Silence has been threatened
Sexual predators count on one key factor, the silence and shaming of their victims. This is what emboldens them to not only continue their assaults on a particular victim, they continue to leave a trail of broken bodies and spirits in their wake. This year, the culture of silence was threatened, if not totally broken. The ceaseless attacks on women and girls, aided by the COVID-19 lockdowns pushed one too many buttons. Now women are speaking up and speaking out. The Federal Government approved a National Gender Based Violence Task Force and the Nigerian Governors Forum declared a State of Emergency on Gender Based Violence. Women’s organisations and networks continue to do the best they can to support women and girls in the community, and boys as well. The Nigerian Governors Wives Against GBV working group was established, with many achievements recorded. Victims are now becoming survivors, who are willing to break the silence that evil perpetrators have counted on for so long. Violations are still occurring every day, but now people know the practice of shaming and blaming victims instead of perpetrators will no longer be allowed.
• Bad news will always travel faster and further than good news
It is not that I did not know this, but I need to keep reminding myself. Bad news has more currency than good news. Recently, there was a video in circulation about a group of women traders in Ado-Ekiti who had been duped out of their hard-earned money by a now faceless group known as ATLAS. Within twenty-four hours, I had received the video of the poor women lamenting their losses at least a dozen times. The video was also sent from people outside of the country. Two weeks ago, someone I know in Texas sent me information about a building complex in Ogun State that could be converted into a shelter for women and girls. She wanted to know if Ekiti State would be interested in using it, as well as Ogun State. I pointed out that on November 26th, Ekiti State government commissioned a 208-bed Transit Home and Vocational Training Center for Women and Girls. The project was made possible with support from the Office of the Sustainable Development Goals at the Presidency. My contact was not aware. I sent the video of the facility and she was very impressed. The news had been all over the place at the time, in all the regular media outlets as well as online. Yet, it did not ‘go viral’ like the bad news about the swindled women.
• The tenacity of ‘Koro’
There is a pandemic that has no cure at the moment. It is highly infectious and dangerous, and it has claimed many lives around the world. There are vaccines now, but it will take a while for everyone to be vaccinated. In the interim, we need to observe certain protocols such as using a face mask, use hand sanitizer, observe social distancing, avoid large crowds, watch out for government updates. How hard can this be? Obviously, it is rocket science for many, even well-educated people. My husband had COVID-19 and it was a draining experience, one I will not forget in a hurry. In recent times, I have felt like I was the one who was out of place when I would go to events and the only people wearing masks would be me and my aides and government officials present. I attended a church program a few weeks ago and noticed that the vast majority of people in church were not wearing masks. When I was asked to greet the congregation, I reminded people that COVID-19 was still out there and we all need to wear masks. Half of the church shouted ‘Koro ti lo’ (COVID-19 has gone). I told them that there are two things we can never argue with. One of them is the word of God. The second is the truth. ‘Koro’ is till very much around, in fact it is back with a vengeance. COVID-19 will be with us for a while. Hopefully, 2021 will see a reduction in Covidiocy.
• Political leaders have a serious trust deficit
Hardly anyone trusts a government official. Even government officials don’t trust government officials. This is a painful truth I have had to come to terms with. It is tiresome trying to tell people your own leader is different, or you can be trusted. In the aftermath of the EndSars protest and the COVID palliatives debacle that followed, it was hard to convince people that what happened with the CACOVID palliatives around the States was not deliberate hoarding by State governments but due to administrative issues with the corporate donors. You can’t blame those who do not believe this because some political leaders did hoard the items to give away as souvenirs. So, who wants to listen to how the process was well managed in many places, and in the case of Ekiti State, over 100,000 households received food support over a period of five months. Political leaders across the divide need to do better. Trust is earned, not demanded.
• ‘Bone Straight Hair’
I was interviewed for a Wrapper Network broadcast recently and I was asked what I thought about the new craze for ‘Bone straight hair’, and the pressure a lot of men are under to buy it for their ladies. This very expensive, silky, long and straight wig is very much desired by young women. I see no problem with having such lovely hair if that is your choice. It is entirely your choice to spend money the equivalent of a plot of land (depending on where you are buying) or the cost of starting a small business on a wig. If you want Bone Straight Hair, by all means, go and buy it and rock it to your heart’s content, with as much sass as you can muster. Work hard, earn your own money and use your expensive wig to make a statement about empowerment and fulfillment. However, if you need to seduce, beg, manipulate, dupe or threaten a man to buy it for you, then you are Bone Straight Stupid.
I wish everyone a blessed and happy New Year. May all our dreams for our country come true, so that it becomes a safe, prosperous, and equitable place for all.
•Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a gender specialist, social entrepreneur and writer. She is the founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online
community for women. She is the First Lady of Ekiti State and can be reached at [email protected]
