Do you like my Lamborghini?

Lamborghini is a state-of-the-art car. Beautiful and shapely, it has a powerful engine and aerodynamic design that enable it cut through air at high speed on well-paved roads. The kind of roads you find in parts of Abuja, the Federal Capital Territory. It is also significant that the Lamborghini is an Italian luxury car. The rear end of the Lamborghini is as enthralling as its front part. It was inspired by the beauty and natural endowment of the Italian woman. 

Yeah, Nigerian car aficionados know about the Lamgboghini and its beauty. But it took 26-year-old Mercy Ekeh, a lady from Imo State, to make the popularity Lamborghini go viral in Nigeria, when she featured in the just concluded Big Brother Naija Season 4, and adopted the nickname Lamborghini. Mercy curvy body and her elegant rear, which she regularly twirled in her uniquely seductive manner mesmerized the global audience that watched BBN4 and won the hearts of both male and female fans who stayed glued to television screens and Youtube as they watched the antics of the Big Brother housemates for 99 days. The fans poured in votes that propelled her to the grand finale and winning of the N60 million star prize. Just like real Lamborghini turns heads when it speeds past, Mercy stole the show.

Her shapely butt, which most male fans found seductive and enthralling, and which less endowed ladies also envied and wished they had the same “asset” has given Nigeria a new parlance for a woman’s butt: Lamborghini.

Imagine a woman smacking her butt and asking her husband with a come-hither-look: “Do you like my Lamborghini?

Now, why were men glued to Mercy’s backside while BBN4 lasted? In fact, some of the shots projected to viewers did often show her face, rather the camera focused on her butt, which became her unique selling point. Without doubt men everywhere and in all vocations, including priests and imams, love women with Mercy’s kind of butt, sorry, Lamborghini. If it were possible to secretly monitor the eyes of men walking along the street and what they are looking at, don’t be surprised that an analysis of the footage captured by the remote cameras would show that the eyes most of the time are focused on the Lamborghini of the lady walking or that just walked past and the man took a quick glance backwards. A certain man told me that a nice shapely female buttock is an elegant asset. He added it is a vital ‘spec’ for most men.

Does that naughty look from men come out of a natural sincere admiration or accidental assessment of a ‘chop and clean mouth’ stuff? This practice is also an age-long tradition. Even the ancestors loved endowed women, so much that they had a description for Lamborghini. Readers old enough would recall a certain magazine popular in the 70s called Ikebe Super. During the meeting of the Parents Teachers Association of a school, the chairman, a man in his late 50s, who was addressing the members, momentarily lost concentration when he caught a glimpse of a female teacher’s backside. He mumbled inaudibly. The incident repeated twice and it took some eagle-eyed people in the audience to notice what was distracting their chairman.

Most times when men see a woman, like guided missiles fired by a jet fighter, their eyes lock on to the backside of the lady. A story was told of a man whose adrenaline gland went over upon sighting a lady’s heavy-duty backside. As the story was told, three male friends stepped out of a restaurant after having a good meal. As they stood briefly outside the restaurant, savouring the meal they had just eaten, a lady came out from another compound and walked away from them. One of the three friends exclaimed: “Wow, who de chop this one?” Your guess is as good as mine as to what happened to him some seconds after taking in the sight. You guessed right: he soiled his groin area with his semen. He was embarrassed that his friends had to shield him until they got into the car they came with to the restaurant and drove away, while they had a good laugh at his expense.

A medical doctor stumbled on a beautiful lady on Facebook and a friendship blossomed online. The lady’s pretty face and intellect impressed the doctor, but he insisted on physical meeting, for him to ascertain if his expectation would be met. After the meeting, he confided in a friend, “The moment I saw her backside, I came to the conclusion that she was my missing rib.”

In another instance, dramatised in a television commercial, a man missed his step on a ladder and a pile of books he was about to stack on a library shelf fell down to the floor because he was busy admiring the backside of a lady that walked past between the book shelves.  What the backside can cause! A close relative was almost hit by a motorcycle because he was carried away with the backside of a lady he was admiring.

Clearly all these instance prove that men are enthralled with the backside of ladies. And I still ask, what is the connectivity between the brain and the female buttocks?

Another question: How do men like their women’s backside? Some like it hot, while some prefer it warm. The hot ones are the well-shaped, seductively curved Lamborghini. At the other end of the spectrum are the flat slates that don’t bring out the shape of a skirt. They are just there, cold and unexciting. But some men don’t really mind such – other parts of the anatomy may appeal to them instead. The truth is that every man knows what moves him in a woman. ‘Shapes and specs’ differ in women, but a man makes his choice.

Over the years and in most times, the style and shape of a lady’s backside have determined the conclusion of her marital status. It is for the love of super Lamborghini that a man brought an ugly lady home for Mama’s assessment. The family wondered what their brother found so appealing in the “ugly specimen” as one of the brothers described the lady. Their brother simply said, “you will not understand.”

Yes, society may brand some ladies as facially unappealing, but they have a fantastic Lamborghini, which is their own USP (unique selling point), and which a particular man may find irresistible. In Igbo land, such women are described as “egbutuo isi” meaning that if you remove the head (face) every other part is great.

Men’s love for Lamborghini has created a booming business in butt enhancement surgery. Other women who can’t afford the plastic surgery involved, simply buy padded underwear or  ‘butt attachment” and strap it to the one that nature gave to them, wear their clothes and go their way – to work, parties, etc; and keep busy posting Instagram pictures of their “curvy butt.” The very crazy ones that have real Lamborghini, wanting to prove that it is not an attachment post live (naked) picture of their butt on their Instagram page – all to attract traffic, with the hope of making money from Google like Kim Kardashian.

As it turned out, the Achille’s heels of a certain international preacher happened to be women, especially the ones with the right proportions like Mercy’s Lamborghini. Whenever he was travelling for evangelism and ministration, the main duty of his personal assistant was to stand close to him, to turn his head back to a normal position each time he stretched his neck too far looking at women.

Visual analysis of a woman’s anatomy and gossiping about their findings is the past time of some men. You would hear them say things like, “She carry better market” in obvious reference to the alluring rear endowment of a lady.

Will men ever get over the power and the pull of Lamborghini?