Acting is like breathing to me – Deyemi Okanlawon

By Rita Okoye

Deyemi Okanlawon is one of Nigeria’s most highly rated actors in the movie industry.

He has always loved acting. From the age of five, he began to act in school plays and at nine, he had booked a national commercial.

As a former sales and marketing guru, the father of three transitioned into becoming one of the finest actors on the African continent.

So bankable is he that he was rated among the highest-grossing Nollywood actors in 2020 and 2021.

In this interview with Sunday Sun, Okanlawon shares the life-changing decisions that paved the way for his success in acting.

Enjoy!

How important are events like the Triple G Conference for men generally?

It’s really important. I didn’t realise that men had developed enough platforms to express themselves. I have attended a few conferences for men, but they are usually organised under church activities or focused mainly on career development. They are commendable, but they are still not enough.

There should be more conferences where men who have gotten it right, or who are still finding their way, can come and hear from others about what worked for them. Conferences like this teach us that we are not alone. Sometimes, all yto do ised is to do things differently. We need to tell the next generation of men that they can do it and help them live more enriching lives.

Do you think it is time to tell men, both young and old, not to bottle up their emotions? As a father of three boys, what do you tell your sons about emotions?

Men will always do what is required for their time. Our fathers did what was required for their time. Our forefathers were farmers. Even if they wanted to be musicians or artists, they couldn’t, because their priority was to feed their families.

My father once told me he always wanted to act, but he couldn’t because his focus then was to rise above his situation and give his children a better life. Now I can live that dream, and my goal is to ensure my children live even more fulfilling lives. No man wants to be emotionless. We only understand that there are times to show emotions and times to take the blow, because life keeps punching.

Is there a manual women can use to make men open up emotionally?

Our job is not to tell men not to show emotions, but to be disciplined enough to know when and how much emotion to express. We cannot tell men to become women. I hear women often say men should express themselves more. That is how women operate; don’t tell men how to operate.

What matters is emotional regulation. If I am angry, I shouldn’t unleash the full weight of that anger. I should be disciplined enough to restrain it and speak calmly. So yes, men should speak out, but they must regulate their emotions.

You once said acting is brain-tasking, and others say it is spiritual. How true is this?

Yes, I believe acting is spiritual. You channel and breathe life into characters, almost like allowing different spirits to inhabit your body for a while. But you must consciously let them go when the job is done.

I once played a violent character. I had to intentionally release that persona, or it would have affected my real life. It is like breaking old habits and forming new ones. You need anchors that remind you of who you truly are and the values you stand for.

The slang ‘soft life’ is popular in Nigeria. What does it mean to you?

It doesn’t resonate with me. As a man, I don’t see any definition of life that is truly “soft.”

How has comfort changed for you since your early days in the industry?

I may have more zeros in my account now, but my responsibilities have grown too. The challenges of today match the stage of life I am in. Nothing has really softened; it only requires that I become stronger.

How do you balance hustle culture with family life?

I take holidays now. Two years ago, I began making conscious efforts to go on vacation. If that is what people call “soft life,” then so be it. You must be intentional. Your wife, children, parents and siblings all need your time. Priorities must be clear. Family comes first.

What were the growth stages of your career like?

I grew up in a comfortable home. My mother owned a successful business, Bakers World. I studied engineering and worked in the family business before leaving to start life on my own. That was when real hardship began. I walked from Shomolu to Surulere daily for 18 months. I was depressed and jobless, but I kept praying. I eventually built a career in sales and marketing, rising to top positions, before leaving everything to pursue acting.

It wasn’t easy, but today, I am grateful. My family remains my anchor and my place of healing. Acting is mentally demanding, and without a strong support system, it can be destabilising.

We live in a society where everyone wants to be an entrepreneur because we believe it is a way out of poverty. This is because there are very few high-paying jobs out there. How do you separate passion from a potentially profitable venture?

I worked 9–5 jobs and earned pretty well, but I incubated my acting career. I am intentional about using the word “incubated.” I loved acting. I discovered I was good at it. I put in more effort and got better at it. As we said earlier, you cannot invest your way out of a poor income, and it is true. To excel, you have to find something you are exceptional at, and we are all exceptional at something.

I loved acting in church drama. I think that is where I may retire. Then one day, someone offered me money to act in another church drama, and I felt like the person paid me for breathing, because acting is like breathing to me—it is easy and effortless. I saved half of my income for investments when I started with ProShare, so I understand investments very well. I pulled out all my investments, took a one-year break, and committed that entire year to acting, and I saw the growth. Now I am in my 12th year in acting, going into my 13th. You know the difference between a passion and a profitable venture when you are being paid for doing what you love.

We have seen many start-ups fail before they even take off. When do you say, “Now I can employ someone to help in the business?”

I think it is when you can afford to pay the next person without feeling it in your pocket and in your soul.

There was a time I was my own manager, PA, and more. I managed myself for years before I grew to a point where I needed someone to fill that gap. It is about being honest with yourself at every stage you find yourself.