Not that the man is waiting on us. Barring any last-minute Politics Nigeriana trademark hocus-pocus, the then sitting President who was poorly treated and shoved aside in the build-up to 2015 shall be invited back by the same forces, repackaged and brought before the Nigerian electorate. That much might already have happened in the spiritual realm. We’re just waiting to see it manifest in the physical.
Characteristically, Nigerians are all over the place: talking, cross-talking and criss-talking -whatever that means. While many urge the man to go for it, others want none of it. Some are quoting the law and the morality of why he shouldn’t dare. We are a peculiar people, Nigerians.
Who has law or morality helped in this country? Those mouthing that the former President will lose respect should explain in one short sentence how that respect affected the price of fish for the man since he left Aso Rock in 2015. Run, Dear Dr. Jonathan, run. Win or lose, you’d achieve some things.
One, you would have cleared your name in addition to bursting the lies against you in 2015. Two, more importantly, you would inspire and encourage a generation to imbibe the virtues of patience, humility and love, which are the hallmarks of your life. Rest assured this is a win-win for you. In fact, to say it the way it is, you’ve nothing to lose by running but too much by not.
However, Your Excellency, while you consult widely, also make copious notes right away on the past, the present and the future. You shall need them to hit the sky flying, from day one. Remember, neither history nor time will be on your side. A fool twice is a fool forever!
Supreme controversial steps to sanity
If you read the serving of last Monday, this is not a follow-up. This entry stands on its own; a step or two apart and higher. By the way, many thanks for how massively you responded last Monday. You all proved that you spare no efforts when it comes to sorting out your mental health issues.
In your feedback, many of you raised questions about the need for political office seekers in Nigeria to first undergo psychiatric tests. You and I know that we are a funny people. We love to instigate laughter by creating fun. We love to distract ourselves anytime the sane thing to do is all eyes on the ball, all hands to the pump.
In Nigeria, psychiatric tests can prove talismanic though. They are the only foolproof, corruptionproof, ethnicityproof, religionproof and politicsproof means of authenticating the few compatriots whose head, as we say, is still correct. The only snag is that these tests must be taken by everyone, aspirants, candidates, electorate, umpires; everybody. Those who question the sanity status of Nigerians so far elected to public offices must widen the net to include as well that of those who continuously voted for them.
It takes two to tango, right? Since we have continued to deride every set of our democratic leaders, isn’t it time perhaps the searchlight was also beamed on ourselves? Isn’t it clear that our mental state had since gone kaput? Isn’t it insanity to apply the Stone Age leadership recruitment process of money-for-hand, back-for-ground that we always do -but expect impossible magic, every time?
The point is that, for Nigeria to break lose from the shackles of insane political and sundry approaches, step one is general psychiatric tests. Clearly, that’s the end of that discussion. How can people who were/are too afraid, too superstitious or too religious to take a mere COVID-19 vaccine agree to and actually take psychiatry tests? Our people should stop behaving like Russia’s Vladimir Putin who keeps threatening the world with nukes!
With the psychiatric test blackmail having failed, Nigerians in dire need of returning to political sanity must simply recalibrate their mind to the point of enjoying what ought to be endured. Stop, go back to the beginning of the last sentence, and read that again; this time with more intentionality. Ignore the pain, enjoy what else is there. That must be what psychologists call motivational or psychological hedonism.
Rather than kill yourself or destroy your mind, exterminate your hateful thoughts and painful reactions to things or persons that hurt you. If that doesn’t work, engage the last gear; the gear that has never failed and never shall. Condition your mind to believe that that person or that thing no longer exists. That the person had long died and been buried!
That might sound extreme but you’d find that this Machiavellian mental health strategy offers incredible boost to your overall health. Never go down without fighting and sacrificing what or who is not you. Do everything to ensure your sanity is not tampered with. Guard the territory and boundaries of your mental health with everything you have, and 25 hours daily!
God bless Nigeria!
Publicise your deal-breakers (2)
This entry -a fortnight ago- received truckloads of feedback. Unfortunately, there’s space only for a few. Here you are:
Engr. Aniefiok Essien, Ekpene Ukim, Uruan LGA, Akwa Ibom State: The Boss, deal-breakers are fundamental but hindered most times by situations beyond control. In our part of the earth, anytime you don’t toe the line of ‘agreed’ norms, you’re called arrogant. When you leave an overbearing employer, you’re an insulting youngster.
Tell a politician things he has asked you to do affect your human dignity, you are called pompous. You tell your husband his attitude hurts, you’re not a submissive wife. Tell your wife constant nagging and irrational thinking don’t sit well with you, you’re not a ‘Y2K’-compliant man.
Nowadays, a good husband is one whose wife pours tonnes of invectives on him without him raising a finger, neither voice nor hand. And, with hunger, poverty and helplessness in mischievous connivance, red lines are nothing vis-a-vis putting food on the table. People will always go against their will just to get ahead.
You dare put out a red line, you starve to death. People like us are victims of red lines. The Boss, Our Boss, many thanks for reminding us.
Tyler Michael MacIntyre, Pittsburgh, PA, United States of America: Mr. BUSH, I really enjoyed your article on deal-breakers and even your experience with a colleague of yours! Very impactful and meaningful!
Apostle Benjamin Onwienuabasi Ntekim, Eket, Akwa Ibom State: Life and nature have a way of dealing with those who vacillate. So, I decided from this year not to be a victim of human deal-breakers. I can’t be the trash can for that long.
I have built a personality over the years, and won’t settle anymore for crumbs or anything goes. Your piece came at a time I was ruminating on so many critical issues bothering on relationships. Thanks for strengthening my resolve, The Boss!
Sorry, how long have our public varsities been shut?
I am asking for a friend who’s based in what I thought was only a small African country. Not sure how our discussion last midweek degenerated to the point he gave me the kind of uppercut that gets counted as technical knock out.
We were bragging on telephone about the potentialities of our continent when he chipped in his regrets that Nigeria won’t be at Qatar 2022. I retorted, to feel good, that the country was making progress in other directions.
His next comment finished me. ‘The Boss, such direction as education?’
It is a crying shame that the same system that should prepare those to take over in future has endured a horrendous shutdown for months but we are too insane to even notice let alone do something about it. Hello, God: please come on a one-second working visit to my country!