As hinted, here’s more plus much more on money. In 50 years, I have learned and confirmed that money is probably the only or leading two-edged sword that everyone loves to love and hates to hate. Everyone searches everywhere for this same thing. Even those who insist its love is the root of all evil would not mind if you cut a little soap for them -as we say in Nigeria.
Money can unite family. Money can put it asunder. Money can solidify friendship. Money can scatter it.
Money can engender peace. Money can wage war. Money sponsors peace talks, here and there. Alas, it is the same money that funds or is at the centre of all violent crimes such as terrorism, banditry, kidnapping, armed robbery, name it.
Who does that, for crying out loud? Who blows hot and cold, simultaneously? How can money in one fell swoop be both a troubleshooter and a trouble monger? Is money, therefore, not a dual confusionist, an agent as well as author of confusion?
And, while you are at that, remember that money is lawless and partial. Only a few people -who work hard and clean- earn and have it to show. Most others -who are lazy and dirty- earn and flaunt too much of it. Money must be a sadist -the way it struts about blessing those it should curse and vice versa.
A money-lover can argue that money is blind. You know, just like justice. That that’s the reason it visits the weak and the strong alike; the hard worker and the lazy head; the innocent and the guilty; the good and the bad; the beautiful and the ugly. Well, that will be a fair point, except that he who accepts assets cannot reject liabilities.
Right up there in pole position among liabilities is the incontrovertible truism that money is illiterate. Here, money is like the church bell. It rings to summon people but remains outside itself. Money is the oil that lubricates scholarship, the vehicle that drives education, but money itself has hardly been to school.
Now, you understand all that arrogance; all that noise; all that emptiness; all that preference for mediocrity and all that ungodliness. Talking about ungodliness, nothing makes you sin without knowing -as effortlessly as money does. Who hasn’t lied, who doesn’t lie over money? Everyone claims to never have it even if their bank accounts are brimming with it.
My father did it to me. My mother too. They never seemed to have money when I wanted it. In my time as a husband, father and boss, I confess here and now that I had voluntarily since ‘joined badtgang:’ no need to ask Mrs. BUSH or Winnie et al.
Thankfully, my family is not alone: presidents, governors, sundry political, temporal and even spiritual leaders, husbands, wives, children and even you also lie to no end over money. Everyone tries to hoard it in the name of savings. If others hoard it, we call them stingy. The way we hide money from even the best people in our life, you would understand how ungodly money has made us.
That’s all in character, because money itself neither knows nor fears, let alone worship God. Money does not worship God in spirit and in truth. Money has two masters: God in the day and mammon at night. Money is tormented and misled by spirit of money, the baptismal name for spirit of insanity.
There are sadder perspectives. Money is an irresistible commander. Of the 7.9 billion people globally, not up to a century of men, women and children can successfully and terminally resist the thousand and one temptations of money. Money can get most of them to do anything, anytime.
What money cannot do does not exist, right? Wrong, money cannot move God. Money cannot damn satan. Money cannot heal this world, only Jesus can and shall.
On the other hand, money is the one lesson you must not only learn but also own and keep an eye on. You shall always need it. Money is a shame wiper; a stain remover; a mouth changer. When you make money, you become the best thing since ice-cream to even those who used to swear on your poverty.
In spite of and despite who and where you are, what you do and how you do it, try and make money. And, in all your trying and all your making, keep it clean. Flee from blood money: it sucks the blood of present and future generations. That’s no money legacy to store away in the memory of eternity.
Lastly, although there may be no visible, inalienable, commensurate earthly blessings accruing from money generosity, never depart from it. In like manner, always be charitable to yourself by cutting some soap and hiding it away because during the rainy days even your helpees would continue to rate you as a helper. The strategy -work, plan, save, invest, branch out- is probably the best money lesson I have imbibed these past 50 years. Next Monday, the lessons move to friendship, love and kindness.
God bless Nigeria!
Big for nothing
I like this caption for three reasons. However, let’s look first at my origin of the phrase. In next-door Cameroon, where I grew up, big for nothing was in the 1970s/80s/90s used to indicate failed expectation.
We should return to that, presently. Meanwhile, let’s get back to the unfinished business of reasons I love big for nothing. One, it is humorous -or is it not?
Two, it is pregnant with over a quintuplet of meanings. Plus you can panel-beat any meaning out of it And, three, it is a utility caption: you can tweak it anyhow.
In Nigeria, big for nothing can pass for rich for nothing; literate for nothing; popular for nothing. Or powerful for nothing; respected for nothing; connected for nothing. You also have legend for nothing; brilliant for nothing; useful for nothing.
Just an aside: useful for nothing means useless in everything. Back to winning ways: strong for nothing; fast for nothing; creative for nothing; pretty for nothing; handsome for nothing; soft for nothing; hard for nothing. You can add yours as we make to develop the glossary of shame for so-called leaders -past and present; those we trusted for nothing.
When people you thought honourable abdicate their place of pride on the head table, choosing instead to descend into the valley of dishonour to lick up own puke in the full glare of the world, those who know you expect you to do something, urgently. You rise to the occasion and show them their new place by crafting the glossary of ignominy. That way, you lack no word to describe or introduce the new them.
Going forward, depending on the extent such people disgrace our country with their crass greed and lack of character, we should comfortably add: excellency for nothing; distinguished for nothing; honourable for nothing. We have had enough of these selfish, shameless men and women and children of politics. About time the world knew that these guys don’t represent the majority of us!

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